The Sportramblers

Can professional athletes hold their liquor?

2009-02-15T14:07:00.002-05:00

This thought came to me at 3 a.m. today, as I was lying awake in a fit of insomnia. Actually, the image to the left came to mind first, since Bears quarterback Kyle Orton stumbling around drunk in an Iowa bar is damned funny. (This photo also confirms that his sipping is as accurate as his passing). But then it got me to thinking: are any professional athletes able to hold their liquor as well as their contemporaries?

I mean, sure, a 300-pound NBA centre or a 375-pound NFL lineman is, on an absolute basis, probably going to be able to outdrink a normal-sized person. But how would they stack up against other, non-athletic folks with a BMI of 75? My guess: not well. Here's why.

Think about it. Anyone who has made it to the big leagues has, presumably, been honing their craft since the time they were a kid. At some early age, it was discovered they had athletic talent that could take them places. By the time they were in their mid-teens, their lives almost certainly revolved around their sport of choice: games, practices, coaching sessions, training and so on. Sure, every teenager (even the athletically-inclined ones -- in some cases, especially the athletically-inclined ones) has their dalliances in alcohol.

But by the time these soon-to-be pro athletes are funnelled into college / junior leagues, they've been insulated from the "normal" experience of their peers. That "normal" experience consists of all sorts of alcoholic experiementation -- developing a tolerance, learning your limits, figuring out which drinks (and combinations of drinks) agree and disagree with you, etc. While the other folks his age are learning whether or not an Irish car bomb with an ouzo chaser is a good thing (note: it's not), Johnny Sportman is trying (sometimes in vain) to keep his body in top physical and psychological condition.

Sure, even serious college athletes get out for a beer now and again... but once they make the transition to full-time athlete, their lives become regimented. If it's not game day, it's practice day. Or travel day. Or training day. Or several of those in combination. Maybe there's time for a rum and coke here and there, but for the most part, these guys in their early 20s just don't have the time or ability to destroy their liver and futures the way the rest of us do.

Why does any of this matter? It matters because I've heard many different people say, of many different professional athletes, "I'd like to have a beer with that guy." But would you? I mean, when you say you want to "have a beer" with someone, you don't really mean "have a quiet pint of ale and exchange interesting anecdotes", do you? You mean, have a good run of things, get in a nice boozed-up comfort zone and start acting silly. Could you really do this, though?

Who's to say that this guy wouldn't just be face down on the bar by the time you were just getting a good buzz on? It's quite possible. Yeah, there are probably plenty of guys for whom a whsikey sour is a pleasant breakfast beverage... but if you're banking on splitting a case of Lucky Lager with your favourite all-star should the chance ever arise, sorry, you just might be in for some disappointment.

Who's smiling now, A-Rod? Oh, wait... it's still you.

2009-02-09T22:51:00.005-05:00

It was the "steroids era", we were told. Before MLB decided to clean up its act a few years ago and bring in stringent regulations on performance-enhancing drugs, the league had supposedly been awash with players "juicing it" in the pursuit of more strength, more home runs, more money. In the wake of this disgraced epoch, we saw one discredited slugger after another have their names associated with some form of steroids: Bonds, Canseco, McGwire, Sosa, Palmeiro... the accusations were all met with denials, but the accusations alone were enough to confirm long-held suspicions in some peoples' minds: that everyone in baseball was using some kind of drug to boost their performance.

So why not Alex Rodriguez?

There are, of course, two main differences between A-Rod and the rest of the drug-stained lot: Rodriguez is still an active player, and he has admitted to his transgressions. Not that he's new to absorbing criticism; he's been derided throughout his recent career -- for his astronomical contracts, for his unsporting on-field actions, for his swagger, for his off-field indiscretions. Why not add "roid-monkey" to that list? After all, he's got at least 300 million reasons not to give a shit what any of us think.

But the most worrisome part of this -- for some -- will be that while there may have been faint whispers of impropriety during the epic McGwire/Sosa summer, and while there was plenty of damaging conjecture being hurled in Bonds's direction as he surpassed Hank Aaron's all-time homer mark, any concrete proof of those three men having used 'roids will only have been established after their careers ended, after they had etched their accomplishments into the record book.

On the other hand, we've got the smoking gun on Rodriguez -- he just handed it to us. But he's not about to ride off into an ignominious sunset, no no. In fact, he's scheduled to be at the forefront of baseball for another eight years, during which time we'll likely see him knock out home run #763. If you thought the pomp and circumstance surrounding Bonds's ascension to the top of the round-tripper mountain was subdued, just imagine the muted celebrations that will greet an admitted drug used beating a record formerly held by an assumed user.

None of this looks good for baseball, of course. Most people will jump on A-Rod for this just because they don't like A-Rod, not because they have any compelling moral aversion to his drug use (in reality, most fans seem to have adopted a "we don't give a shit anymore" attitude to the supposedly-bygone "steroid era", a fact Rodriguez must have taken into consideration when formulating his mea culpa). But the argument will rage on: was what he did "wrong"? If everyone else was doing it, could be truly be faulted for going with the flow? And does his admission of his drug use, in fact, entitle him to more generous treatment from fans and the media than Bonds, McGwire, Sosa, et. al.?

This is a no-win situation for baseball, and a no-lose situation for Rodriguez. The outing of the 2003 drug-user list (on which A-Rod's name appeared) will only strength the position of those who feel that the league, the players and the media were all complicit in the drug-fuelled, sport-saving mayhem that followed the 1994 strike. Depending on whose names appear on this list, we may be prying open a dangerous Pandora's box, further delegitimizing the sport and potentially destroying the legacies of other well-known players.

All the while, Rodriguez (having washed his hands of the whole thing) can huddle and hide as the dust kicks up all around him, collect his 300 million dollars, break the all-time home run record and, one day, quietly slip into the Hall of Fame when the day comes that the baseball world firmly establishes that there truly were no "cheaters" during the window between 1994 and 2004. Because if everyone is doing it, it can't possibly be wrong... right?

What a wild weekend...

2009-02-02T11:16:00.002-05:00

Of course the first bullet point will be devoted to Super Bowl 43. Hidden within the overblown hype, ridiculous pagaentry and expensive advertisements featuring snack machines and Danica Patrick's muscular shoulders was a treat for us actual football fans: an exciting, entertaining game. Two years in a row? What the hell? Had Kurt Warner actually managed to lead the Cardinals to victory, his place in the Hall of Fame would have been assured; even so, a 377-yard, three-touchdown performance is not too shabby (and actually means the three most prolific QB performances in Super Bowl history, based on passing yards, all belong to Warner). Santonio Holmes seemed intent on making us all forget David Tyree's name (though I assume most already have) with his ludicrous, last-minute, championship-clinching grab, and Mike Tomlin has assured himself at least another decade of job security in Pittsburgh by impressively balancing strong football coaching with his day job as one of the leads on the TV series House. And, of course, despite looking (and usually moving) like a big, goofy prison guard, Ben Roethlisberger now has as many Super Bowl rings as the entire Manning family (including Archie).
Speaking of fat goofs, it was nice to see BJ Penn get his ass summarily handed to him by Canuckistani Georges St. Pierre at UFC 94. The Hawaiian made "getting taken down and pummeled in the face" into an art form this past Saturday, although his cornermen suggest another reason for his loss: the hand cream rubbed all over GSP's back. Had Penn gotten anywhere near having back control (or for that matter, even being in a position to touch St. Pierre's back) at any point during the fight, the complaint being lodged may have actually mattered. As it is, GSP can look ahead to the anticipated mammoth showdown with Anderson Silva, hopefully at some point this year. Come to think of it... Silva is headlining UFC 97 in April, taking place in Montreal... what better time to make that dream fight official?
Speaking of dream matchups (I love easy segues)... I don't think Federer/Nadal really qualifies as a "dream matchup" anymore, but it's still impressive to see these two giants of the sport battle it out in a Grand Slam final yet again. My fellow Sportrambler could surely give you more cogent insight on the Aussie Open final than I can (since I'm guessing she stayed up all night to watch it live), but if Wimbledon represented the turning point at which Nadal transitioned from "consistent thorn in Federer's side" to "true contemporary nemesis", then this victory solidifies the transition from "lefty Spaniard who could only win on clay" to "one of the true all-time greats". And he's only 22. God dammit.
Speaking of all-time greats under the age of 25, Michael Phelps is apparently spending his early 20s in the way most of us did: smoking pot. Yeah, he's got more Olympic gold medals than any of us, but whatever. Phelps will face no disciplinary action from the International Olympic Committee (other than their "disappointment" in him or whatever), and he can thank Ross Rebagliati for that. While some people may be shocked at the Phelps-as-toker news, it really should come as no surprise to anyone who's seen the "Space Olympics" sketch from Saturday Night Live.
Speaking of, uh, people who have probably used plenty of casual narcotics... if anyone's still questioning whether or not David Beckham is planning to come back to the LA Galaxy when his loan to AC Milan runs out, his inspired play against Lazio over the weekend should confirm that he hopes to remain in Serie A. Of course, Becks doesn't get final say in the matter (MLS does), so he may yet be toiling away in minor-league ballparks across America this summer!
Speaking of the beautiful game, I feel it's my duty as a Premiership neutral (which actually means "anyone but United") to reiterate that Frank Lampard's sending-off against Liverpool (which altered the course of the game and, potentially, the entire Premiership table) was a completely silly call by referee Mike Riley. The Chelsea fans whose presence I was in during the match employed decidedly more harsh words than "silly".
Speaking of fans using words decidedly more harsh than "silly" to describe something... the Senators' performance this season, and its inevitable result: the firing of Craig Hartsburg. Again, my fellow Sportambler could likely provide more nuanced insight into how everything has gone so horribly wrong, but as a Leafs fan, I'm obviously much less interested in nuance and insight than I am in childishly gloating at the failure of a rival team. So yes, in case it hasn't been mentioned before: the Sens suck.
I'm out of cheap segues, so this post is over.

Saturday Night Skills

2009-01-24T19:54:00.010-05:00

Well it's NHL All-Star Game time again, and I'll admit it's just about the right time for me to see some meaningless hockey and millionaires goofing around like kids again. Even though it's just a sideshow, Hockey Night In Canada is still doing it up like a regular game... although Mike Millbury seems to have missed the memo that you're supposed to have fun at these things ( I mean come on Mike, even Elliotte Friedman was smiling and laughing). The 'real' game goes tomorrow, so Saturday night hockey this week is the SuperSkills.

Fastest Skater
First event in the skills competition... basically a one-lap foot race, with Mason Raymond, Jeff Carter, Brian Campbell, Jay Bouwmeester, Zach Parise and Andrew Cogliano. Some of the guys looked a little tentative heading into the corners, but Raymond nearly pulled a Shean Donovan (spectacular wipeout) heading in, so I guess it's better to be safe than sorry. It looked like Carter was going to win it, but Cogliano pulled a hot lap out as the last skater to win it - for the record, Mike Modano picked him as the winner just before the competition.

'Fan Fave' Breakaway Challenge
This was the event that James Duthie is still trying to take credit for 'inventing,' although after last season's debacle I don't know who would want to lay claim... this year there were some tweaks and it seems to have worked. Instead of having the NHL goalies, they bought in a 21-year-old double A player from West Island (Montreal) to stand in the net. In theory he wasn't supposed to stop the shots, but I guess they forgot to tell the pros that... the NHL's answer to the NBA's slam dunk contest had a fairly predictible cast of shooters - Patrick Kane, Martin St Louis (replacing Sidney Crosby), Alex Kovalev, Ryan Getzlaf, Alexander Ovechkin and Steven Stamkos. I have to admit that I was a bit underwhelmed by the actual tricks the players were trying out, especially since I think only three or four pucks actually ended up in the net. Kovalev and Getzlaf had some cool moves that they just couldn't finish on, but I think they all would have been more successful if they'd gone a bit simpler and actually been able to score. The moment of the competition, and probably the night, was Ovechkin, which shouldn't really come as a surprise. His first few shots were good, but nothing truly spectacular - that's when he got an assist from Evgeni Malkin (of all people) and used a few props to create an instant You Tube classic. After taking a shot, he came right over to the bench where Malkin opened a bag and pulled out a khaki Tilley hat with a Canadian flag sticking up at the side and a pair of big, blinged-out shades. After Ovechkin jammed the hat on, Malkin also gave him a shot of Gatorade - and a second stick for good measure. Ovechkin then took off towards the net with two sticks, stickhandling the puck back and forth between them before ditching the stick in his right hand and taking a shot and banging home the rebound. The move itself was, again, not exactly spectacular, but with the hat and the shades I honestly had tears in my eyes I was laughing so hard. It almost goes without saying that Alexander the Great won the fan- and player-voted contest with a whopping 42 percent (Alex Kovalev was second with 19 percent).

Next up, the Young Stars Game - three six-minute periods of three-on-three play with goalies that may as well be cardboard cutouts. There are a lot of really good young players in the league, and about half of these guys I had no idea they were this young... Luc Robataille seems to be thoroughly enjoying himself as one of the 'coaches' of the rookies... Hold the phone! Luke Schenn, future of the Maple Leafs, scored a goal! There's a sight we likely won't see again this year... It's a good thing this doesn't count towards your goals against average, or else Carey Price would be screwed... No backchecking whatsoever, what a shock... Pekka Rinne is actually making some saves... Price is pulling double duty playing in both this game and is the starter for the East in the big boys game tomorrow... Jim Hughson shouldn't speak French, it's not pretty... Kris Versteeg can't play, so he's the official videographer for Blackhawks TV... after the romp, Robataille now thinks coaching is easy... Rookies beat the Sophomores 9-5.

Accuracy Shooting
The good old target shooting, great equalizer between seven-year-olds and the pros, in this case, Dany Heatley, Evgeni Malkin, Marc Savard, Tomas Kaberle, Jonathan Toews, Mike Modano, Ilya Kovalchuk and Jarome Iginla. Scott Oake tried to have Bruins goalie Tim Thomas act as the play-by-play man for Evgeni Malkin's turn, and Jim Hughson and Craig Simpson were less than impressed with their attempts. Malkin and Heatley were tied, so they went to a tiebreaker... Malkin went 3-for-4, and Heatley only hit two, so Malkin takes the trophy.

Hardest Shot
The marquee event, and the one with the most interest around it. This year's big cannons were Zdeno Chara, Mark Streit, Shea Webber, Mike Komisarek, Sheldon Souray and Vincent Lecavalier. A nice twist on the competition this year, was Chara asking to turn it into a charity event (he even wore a Right To Play toque on the ice), and in the end they raised $24,000 to go to the charity of the winner's choice. That turned out to be Big Z, winning it on his last shot over Webber, with a mammoth 105.4 mph (a new record).

Elimination Shootout
Last but certainly not least, a new addition to the skills competition lineup - 36 players were randomly divided into four groups of nine players, with each group facing a different goalie. Pretty simple really: score and you move on, miss and you're out. Facing Nicklas Backstrom were Toews, Parise, Kovalchuck, Heatley, Weber, Savard, Niedermayer, Souray and Marleau; against Henrik Lundqvist were Markov, Lecavalier, Nash, Tkachuk, Chara, Doan, Brown, Robidas and Carter; against J-S Giguere were Vanek, Hejduk, Kaberle, Boyle, Komisarek, Thornton, Iginla, St Louis and Kane; against Tim Thomas were Kovalev, Ovechkin, Staal, Streit, Bouwmeester, Campbell, Modano, Getzlaf and Malkin. One of the best moves of the first round came when Mark Streit tripped over one of the sponsor signs after taking his shot... as a former Montreal player, he heard it from the crowd. Twelve players out of the 36 made it into the second round, and out of that group six moved on. From that six, it was down to Doan, Savard and Hejduk with a final shot to win it. It took five rounds, but Shane Doan won it when Savard was stopped by Lundqvist (Doan also had the cutest cheering section, with his daughter Gracie hugging and high-fiving him at the bench after every goal).

I know most people in the hockey business knock the All-Star weekend, but I really enjoy it, especially the skills contest. It's refreshing to watch guys out there having fun, goofing around, chirping their teammates and/or friends and earning bragging rights.

Wrap-up at the break

2009-01-23T12:09:00.002-05:00

Well, it's All-Star Break time, so I may as well spew some of the hockey-related nonsense that's been brewing in my brain in the season's first half.

Shootout silliness: It is unconscionable to me that the NHL brain-trust still thinks it's a good idea to have NHL goalies in the net during the "breakaway challenge" event, or whatever the hell it's called. Last year's inaugural challenge was a complete visual disaster, as the NHL goalies (being professional athletes with pride, after all) actually, y'know, stopped the shots, resulting in a combined total of, I think, zero actual goals scored by all competitors. As a friend of mine said, using all-star NHL goalies for this event is like having Shaq standing there playing defence during the NBA dunk competition.

Why not use AHLers? Or local rent-a-goalies from the city the All-Star Game is being played in? Or, why not have a public contest where one lucky NHL fan gets the chance to play goal during the breakaway challenge? That would be good press for the NHL. Instead, the suits spend all their time worrying about oval-shaped goal posts and all sorts of other needless nonsense. Unbelievable.

No surprises here: As I presciently predicted back in September, the people assuming the Penguins would stroll right back to the top of the Eastern Conference (despite a significantly altered lineup) were fooling themselves. If the playoffs started today, the Pens wouldn't even be in the playoff picture, and unless something changes in their performance in the next two months, they won't be in the picture when it actually arrives. As I said in my previous post, "one big scoring line does not a championship contender make", which brings me to my next point...

The Sens suck: I'm sure my fellow Sportrambler would have a laundry list of excuses as to why the 2008-09 Senators are looking more like the Senators of the mid-90s (in the sense that they're trawling the seabed of the conference standings), but in the end, Ottawa's NHL team is performing very poorly, and regardless of the reasons behind it, that makes me smile.

With no parade to plan, other news is needed: Okay, I'm a Torontonian and a Leafs fan, but believe me, I was just as annoyed as anyone with the Canadian sports media's ridiculous double overkill on the Brian Burke and Mats Sundin stories. Despite near-daily updates from our friends at TSN, Sportsnet, etc., the actual conclusions of these stories have been pretty damn anti-climactic: Captain Mats is, by most accounts, underperforming in Vancouver (and won't even be making the playoffs unless Robery Luongo gets healthy) and Burke (beloved more for his ability to produce a soundbite than to actually build a winning team) has accomplished three things so far: getting rid of a draft pick (yeah, who needs 'em?) for his old pal Brad May; getting rid of promising (to me, at least) prospect Robbie Earl for, hopefully, an equally-promising young man named Ryan Hamilton; and telling the FAN 590 yesterday that if he could make a trade today to get this team into the playoffs this year, he would. Oh, for fuck's sakes. Say hello to the new boss, same as the old boss. So much for that "long-term planning".

To fight or not to fight: The death of Don Sanderson reignited the debate about fighting in hockey, and gave the pro-fighting neanderthals (Don Cherry et. al.) the chance to dredge up their most tired and ridiculous arguments: that fighting in an integral part of the game, that it's part of the player "code" and that, if fighting were eliminated, all of a sudden, everyone would be swinging their sticks at the heads of stars (even though, if I recall correctly, the last such stick-swinging incident took place between Marty McSorley and Donald Brashear, two goons). Is fighting a necessary part of hockey? Is it a necessary outlet for the aggression that gets built up between players as the game goes along? The answer, to anyone with a brain, is no -- and the proof comes in a very identifiable place: the "trenches" in a football game.

If the giant, hulking men in the offensive and defensive lines can put up with the sorts of things that supposedly go on at the bottom of pileups (punches, eye gouges, etc.) and not fight, then NHLers can do it too. Not to mention, 95% of fights in hockey are pre-arranged and non-spontaneous choreographed nonsense perpetrated by two guys whose only job it is to fight. George Parros and Derek Boogaard may be nice guys in real life (actually, that's doubtful), but do they have a place in the NHL? Now, maybe. In the future? Probably not.

Recipe for success: Take one sports-crazy Original Six city. Add two young, heavily-marketed offensive stars to headline an already-impressive crop of budding talent. Subtract (via death) a widely-criticized team owner whose inexplicably asinine policy of imposing a local TV blackout on virtually all home games likely did as much to hurt the team's popularity as their years of futility did. Mix ingredients together and wait eight months. If prepared properly, the recipe serves about 22,000 rabid Chicago hockey fans per night during a long playoff run.

That's about it for now, so let's all just kick back and enjoy a bunch of pro players breezing around the ice at half-capacity as an arena full of drunk Montrealers goes nuts at their every move.

Is there really no loyalty anymore?

2009-01-08T12:12:00.002-05:00

Call me old-fashioned ("you're old-fashioned"), but to me, there's a definite romantic quality about a top-flight player spending a long, successful career with one team. Of course, it rarely (if ever) happens anymore, so when it does happen, it provides a nice, fleeting glimpse into a bygone era.

So it was disheartening to me to learn that John Smoltz is apparently going to become a member of the Red Sox. Not just because it's another quality player entering the AL East (though at this point, the Blue Jays are destined to battle the Orioles for last place anyway) but because the 41-year-old had spent his entire 20-year career with Atlanta but now will, presumably, finish it off in Boston.

Sure, the Braves have fallen on hard times, but is there anything Smoltz didn't already accomplish as a member of that team? Fourteen division titles, five World Series appearances and one World Series victory, not to mention a Cy Young Award in 1996. This is not a Ray Bourque situation, where a beloved veteran leaves a long-suffering team for his one last shot at a championship. Sure, the Red Sox are a hell of a lot more likely to win the World Series in 2009 than the Braves are, but is that what's motivating Smoltz, a man who's already got a ring?

Maybe not, according to Buster Olney at ESPN.com. According to Olney, Smoltz may have felt slighted by the $2.5 million difference between the offers tendered by Atlanta and Boston for next year. It's doubtful that money is the issue; Smoltz has banked tens of millions of dollars over his career (all courtesy of the Braves), and one can only assume he knows that while the Red Sox have a perpetual bottomless pit of roster cash, the Braves are at the point where their resources should be focused on youth.

No, Olney argues that it's more a matter of Smoltz's pride: "it is evident that Smoltz perceives doubts about him coming from the Braves -- doubts which, in his mind, were likely underscored by the difference in the offers from Atlanta and the Red Sox." I dunno, how many almost-42-year-old professional athletes do you know who would consider $3 million from the only team they've ever known as a slap in the face? If Olney is accurate, then you can apparently include John Smoltz on that list.

There are obviously factors at play here that I will never be fully familiar with, so it's not completely fair to pass judgment about Smoltz's decision. But then, that's never stopped me before. It's unfortunate that the future Hall of Famer will likely play his final "home" game not in front of the fans who've supported him and given him a livelihood for two decades, but in front of the rabble at Fenway Park, who'll chew him up and spit him out like any other free-agent signing if he doesn't perform up to snuff.

What if Smoltz doesn't perform the way he thinks he still can? Will he get the same sort of breaks from Boston fans as we would from Atlanta fans? Unlikely. Not that a guy making $5.5 million a year to throw a ball needs coddling... but then, as I said, this post is not meant so much a berating of John Smoltz as it is a lament for a time (and, apparently, a mindset) gone by, when the logo on the front of a player's jersey might have represented more than who was signing the paycheques.

Insight from a MSN username. Yes, it's true.

2008-12-27T13:43:00.002-05:00

The other day, my brother's MSN status read roughly as follows: "Jays are shit, Raps are shit, Leafs are shit, Argos are shit, TFC are shit. Not a good time to be a fan of anything in TO." Now, in fairness, the Toronto Rock might be doing OK (or maybe not, I have no idea), but the point was made pretty clearly: Toronto has somehow degenerated into one of those "sad sack" pro sports cities. You know, kind of like Cleveland, or Philadelphia before this year's World Series.

How did this happen? Well, let's break it down:

Jays: Seven years ago, a "genius GM" was brought in, to much fanfare, supposedly with a solid plan in place to bring the team to glory. While J.P. Ricciardi may have been a legit Moneyballer with a concrete "five-year plan" at one point, he's devolved into a largely-unloved waiver-wire-plucker. Plus, y'know, the Yanks and Red Sox have bottomless pockets, and the Rays have all of a sudden decided to be good (a decade of #1 draft picks will do that). Ricciardi and the team have, in many ways, been victims of circumstances; however, barring a large variety of highly unlikely events taking place simultaneously, these boys will sadly be mired in mediocrity for the foreseeable future.

Raps: Three years ago, a "genius GM" was brought in, to much fanfare, supposedly with a solid plan in place to bring the team to glory. And when Bryan Colangelo began assembling his team, pulling together the squad from disparate places and creating a whole that may have been more than the sum of its parts, things were looking pretty good. But then, y'know, VC decided to come back and screw us again. Now, the team is sputtering, Jermaine O'Neal is (surprise!) on and off the disabled list, CB4 is coming into his prime (meaning he's gone when he comes up for free agency) and, all of a sudden, things don't look so rosy. In fairness, the Celtics showed us that worst-to-first is definitely attainable in the NBA, but I don't think Raptors fans (a group in which I don't claim membership) can really expect one or the other in the short-term.

Leafs: Well, no analysis needed here. 40 years of mismanagement lead to a franchise that more resembled a clogged drain than a competitive hockey team. But then -- stop me if you've heard this before -- a few months ago, a "genius GM" was brought in, to much fanfare... yeah, you get it. Will Burke be the revolutionary force needed to turn the franchise around? That's yet to be seen. His credentials have been overblown by a Canadian sports media that loves him for his ability to produce good sound bites. But the team is actually full of youngsters (though no overwhelming standouts) and seems to be playing positive hockey. Should we plan the parade route yet? No, that's still quite a few years off, folks.

Argos: Yeah, they stunk this year. Badly. The ridiculous QB controversy, combined with the utter implosion of the team's once-vaunted defence, combined with Don Matthews ignominiously returning to the CFL and accomplishing nothing but adding eight losses to his lifetime record, lead to one clunker of a campaign. Never fear though, fellow Argo faithful: it's the CFL. We've still got a 75% chance of making the playoffs next year, no matter what happens.

TFC: Well, you can't expect much more from a franchise that's only played two seasons. The TFC diehards seem to have a ridiculous notion in their heads that, because they wear red, sing songs and make a big deal of themselves at home matches, somehow they're "owed" a winning team, as if such a thing can just be created out of thin air overnight. The TFC suits seem to be trying, though: signing hometown boy Dwayne DeRosario and, it's expected, readying to announce a high-profile designated player this offseason. Mo Johnston seems to be going for the gusto in season three. And hey, much like the CFL, it doesn't take much to reach the playoffs in the MLS: if the interminably average New York Red Bulls could reach the just-past MLS Cup, there's no reason TFC can't make a run at it in 2009.

So, are things hopelessly dire in Toronto? Well, depends on who you follow. But it's safe to say that, if there is ever destined to be a moment in time when Toronto is a multi-sport powerhouse, carrying impressive dynasties across several professional leagues... that moment won't happen for quite a while. Yeah, everything's not completely bleak going into 2009 but, well, don't get your hopes up too high.

Just relish the small victories... like the good possibility that the Buds finish higher in the standings than the Sens.

Do Zambonis need rearview mirrors?

2008-12-19T11:21:00.005-05:00

The NHL Winter Classic in Chicago is just under two weeks away, so naturally work has already started to get Wrigley Field ready in time for the game. The crucial pieces needed to transform a baseball diamond into a hockey rink obviously include the ice-making equipment, which arrived in Chicago earlier this week, and the Zamboni. It made quite an entrance, which the local NBC channel caught, and the wonder of the internet has now preserved it for all to see.

Mats Sundin FINALLY makes a deal

2008-12-18T20:21:00.004-05:00

The longest-running soap opera of the 2008 NHL year is finally over! Not that it really matters to me, but Mats Sundin signed a one-year deal with the Vancouver Canucks, just hours short of the NHL 'holiday' roster freeze. Not to worry drama fans, James Duthie, Bob McKenzie, Pierre McGuire, Darren Dreger, Nick Kypreos, Darren Millard, Scott Morrison, Mike Millbury and all the other hockey pundits will still have plenty of time to speculate on things, since Sundin won't join the Canucks until at least December 27 when the aforementioned roster freeze expires.

While he was reportedly waffling between the Canucks and the New York Rangers, it was likely never much of a choice - Vancouver was always offering a two-year, $20 million/one-year, $10 million deal, while New York was giving numbers closer to $5 million a year. The Canucks could also have added Sundin at any time, while the Rangers would have to clear up salary cap space and, presumably, free up a roster spot and some ice time as well.

Good for the Canucks, glad to see you get some more scoring. Glad he's not coming back to the East, specifically the Northeast. Most importantly, IT'S OVER!

If at first you don't succeed, try six more times between now and 2012...

2008-12-08T13:44:00.003-05:00

So, is anyone surprised?

Is anyone surprised that the insanely-overpriced tickets for the Bills/Dolphins game at the SkyDome didn't sell out? That the corporate consortium behind the shit-show was forced to paper the joint and lie about it being a sell-out to avoid the game being blacked out on TV?

Or that, when the seats weren't gapingly empty, they were, for the most part, filled with the sort of dilettante, disinterested, "I'm just here for the experience", non-hardcore fans who clog up the platinum seats at every Maple Leafs home game? Or that Bills fans didn't, in fact, make the trip up from Buffalo to watch a "home" game that had been turned into, at best, a neutral site and, at worst, a total advantage for the "visiting" Dolphins, both in terms of fan support and weather conditions?

And is anyone really surprised that the game itself was a stinker, considering J.P. Losman was the starting QB on one side, and on the other, you had a team that, despite surprising success this year, did go 1-15 last season?

Well, if you are surprised by any of that, you're either an idiot, or a self-delusional employee of a certain telecommunications company whose owner died last week, or both. So, what were the surprises?

I was surprised to learn that the fans in attendance took it upon themselves to drown out Canadian anthem singer Kreesha Turner with their own rousing version of "O Canada". Not just because it involved normally docile Toronto sports fans actually making noise other than when explicitly instructed to by flashing images on a jumbo-tron, but because I'm sure that most of these allegedly patriotic Canadians would have no problem seeing the CFL disappear to accommodate the incursion of the southern four-down game.

I was surprised that not all of the players were in full spin mode afterwards, with Losman explicitly saying that the game didn't feel like a home game, and that the fans sucked. Both true statements, but you usually expect athletes (especially in the "No Fun League") to toe the company line and accept anything the higher-ups do as the greatest idea ever. Not today. Not after a bad performance and de facto elimination from playoff contention. I wonder if the guys in charge of the "Bills in Toronto" series expected the quarterback of the alleged "home" team to take time in the press conference following the first regular season game in Canada to mention the shittiness of the venue and the fans. Probably not.

I was surprised by Ricky Williams's long-term memory, in the sense that he remembers that he did play for the Argos two years ago. I was less surprised by his candor, but pleasantly surprised that said candor included a warning that while one or two NFL games a year in Toronto would be OK as a novelty, bringing a team here full-time could hurt the Argos, which would be bad. Damn that guy must be fun to get stoned with.

The word "disaster" and other such exaggerations have been used to describe the game. That may be a tad much. But I am in fact pleased to see this ridiculous experiment blow up in the faces of the corporate morons who so horribly misjudged this marketplace, and am feeling a lot less fatalistic about the potential of the NFL to trample over our one true national sports league. But then again, a lot can change between now and 2012. Let's just hope it doesn't.

Vote Early, Vote Often, Vote Blackhawks

2008-12-07T13:44:00.003-05:00

While I'm generally not one for useless crap that gets posted online (I know, I sound much older and curmudgeonlier than my 23 years), I have to say I'm a fan of the celebrity athlete faux-campaign video trend. It started last year with this gem from Chris Bosh from your Toronto Raptors, trying to get voted to the All-Star Game in New Orleans. This year, however, the ante has been upped, at least in the NHL by the Chicago Blackhawks. This season Brian Campbell, Patrick Kane and Jonathan Toews are all on the ballot for the 2009 All-Star Game in Montreal. In an effort to be voted to the starting lineup, all three have election campaign-style videos now on YouTube telling you why they should be in Montreal. Not as good as the Bosh original, but definetly worth watching.

Another Day, Another Idiot

2008-12-03T10:23:00.005-05:00

Sean Avery is a joke.

With an opening line like that, most of you can guess where this is headed - if not, I'll recap: Ahead of the Dallas Stars-Calgary Flames game yesterday, word broke on the early evening sports newscasts about the Stars own village idiot Sean Avery's latest antics. The spotlight had been on Avery anyways because this was his first game against the Flames and Jarome Iginla, who Avery called "boring" in an interview back in the fall. Knowing he had everyone's attention, Avery asked Jermaine Franklin, TSN's Calgary reporter, and his cameraman if he could make some comments for them. With an audience of reporters around him and the camera rolling, Avery proceeded to say "I am really happy to be back in Calgary, I love Canada. I just want to comment on how it's become like a common thing in the NHL for guys to fall in love with my sloppy seconds. I don't know what that's about. Enjoy the game tonight."

When I first saw the clip on Off The Record last night, I was just plain shocked at what I heard and, to be honest, considered not even writing anything about it. Sean Avery is one of those childish people who wants any attention he can get, and initially I didn't want to give him any more play than he's already recieved. But this is something that just makes my head spin. This classless oaf has gone beyond trying to stir the pot and was just plain rude. To me, the worst part of the whole situation was the obvious pre-meditation of the remarks and manipulation of the situation - James Duthie on TSN said it looked and sounded like a bad stand-up comedian delivering a bad joke - to say something publicly that, if it has to be said at all, should have stayed with all the other rude trash talk on the ice. I know players say shit like that all the time, especially players like Avery who are trying to throw other guys off their game, but most have even just the shred of class necessary to keep it on the ice and not start running their mouths off in public.

As for the League's suspension, I agree with booting him from the team until he can meet with Gary Bettman and Colin Campbell. This is what I would consider "conduct detrimental to the team," to use NFL terms, and something that needs to have an example made of. I don't, however, necessarily think he should be suspended beyond whenever his meeting is, because presumably he will have missed two or three games by then anyways. In my mind, this is behaviour that the League needs to call out, but beyond that they should let the Stars deal with it within the organization. I'm sure some owners would say 'all press is good press' and let him go right back to playing, but Tom Hicks, the Stars owner, sounds mighty pissed about the whole thing and will, I'm guessing, deal with it in his own way.

Some other opinions on the matter include:

Jeff Marek from Hockey Night in Canada who says that while he's defended Avery before, this one is offside, even for someone like him who likes to see some characters in the game. I also found myself agreeing with his other main point, which was that while comments need to be kept above board, it shouldn't discourage players from hockey-related yapping because they have to worry about the League taking it the wrong way and suspending them.
Brett Hull, co-GM of the Dallas Stars on The Fan 590's HockeyCentral at Noon discussing the... situation.
Sportsnet'sEvanka Osmak has a different take, which actually really surprised me - she basically says that since what gets said on the ice is probably worse, he doesn't deserve to be taken to task for this idiocy.
Damien Cox from the Toronto Star made the front page of ESPN.com with his take.
The NHL on TSN pannel had their say during the Montreal-Atlanta broadcast last night, and within that story there are a handful of video clips, including Avery's teammates' take on the matter and Jermaine Franklin's original story.
One of many American-based gossip sites, The Superficial

Even though Avery should get his day with the Comish later this week, this is something that won't die down quietly. Sean, I understand that you want to be unique and stand out from all the other NHL puppets that just spout the party line whenever there's a microphone in front of them, but you've gone too far this time. If I didn't already think so little of you, I'd wish you luck next time you meet up with Dion Phaneuf or Jarret Stoll, or any other of your "sloppy seconds" current boyfriends.

A New York Football Giant Idiot

2008-12-01T16:18:00.006-05:00

You know the saying that some people have more money than brains? Well the latest professional athlete to be added to that list is Plaxico Burress, the tallented, albeit moronic, wide reciever for the New York Giants. If you somehow missed every football show on Sunday, you should know that his latest act of stupidity was to "accidentally" shoot himself in the leg. In case that wasn't enough, when he managed to accompish this feat he was at a busy nightclub surrounded by people, apparently including teammate Antonio Pierce. And had been allowed to by-pass security because he was carrying a gun. A loaded gun.

Without getting into my own views on personal security and carrying weapons of any sort, this is just plain stupid. There really is no other word for it. My first issue is with the seemingly ever-shrinking brain in Burress's head - this is the same guy who signed a contract extension that pays him about $7 million a season and has proceeded to be suspended by his team and fined $117 500 for missing a team meeting, fined another $45 000 for abusing a official during a game, and has publicly stated that he'll take fines over attending meetings. Maybe it's because I grew up fairly well-off (not having millions, mind you) that I can't understand why money turns people into morons. As much as I dislike his team, and therefor him, I can recognize that he's a great football player when he wants to be. There's no excuse as to why he should be throwing his opportunities away just because he's got more cash in his bank account.

Secondly, why on earth would he, or anyone else, think that they need to carry a loaded gun stuffed in the waistband of their pants to a club, or anywhere else really? Now I realize that there are some people out there who resent those who do have money, especially athletes like Burress or other celebrities, and for whatever reason want to harm them, but that should be no excuse to have to take matters into your own hands and carry a weapon with you out in public. On ESPN's Sunday NFL Countdown Keyshawn Johnson made some excellent points about the cost-effectiveness and relative ease with which someone of Burress's status could hire security to accompany him out to clubs or other places where he might feel threatened. His main point was that while security might be necessary, there are better ways to go about it than trying to look macho by carrying a gun. Tom Jackson seemed disgusted with the whole situation and Mike Ditka sounded like he wanted to get his hands on Burress and slap some sense into him. While all the Countdown guys couldn't even seem to wrap their heads around the situation, they pretty much all agreed that this doesn't just make Burress look bad, it's another rap against NFL players, who seem to have a lot of weapons violations. (Side note: how long before we see Burress joining Tank Johnson, Adam Jones and the Dallas Outlaws playing at the 'Big House' in Arlington...?) Towards the end of the segment Keyshawn made the statement that he would guess that "at least half of the NFL is packing heat," and while that shocks me it actually doesn't surprise me that the numbers could be that high.

The news today is that Burress, after being released from hospital on Saturday, will face criminal weapons posession charges. He apparently turned himself in to New York police and was officially charged and released on $100 000 bail late this afternoon. As much as I wish this would be the last we'll hear about him, I have a feeling this is going to get juicy, especially since it's in New York and involving a member of the defending Super Bowl championship team.

There must be something in those cheesesteaks...

2008-11-18T13:13:00.003-05:00

Just in case you missed it, in the post-game press conference following the 13-13 tie between the Eagles and Bengals on Sunday, Donovan McNabb confessed that he didn't know that ties existed in the NFL. Yep. The video, if you please.

Now, I'm not trying to unduly take the piss out of McNabb, who is a solid player and seemingly a good guy. But how the hell does someone go for a decade as a top-flight player in a league, in a position where intelligence and knowledge of the game's intricacies are considered vital to one's success, and not know that ties exist? McNabb was in the league the last time a tie happened, six years ago -- did he, at any point, check the standings and wonder why Pittsburgh and Atlanta had that "-1" at the end of their records? And what, exactly, did he think happened if the game was tied after overtime? Infinite extra overtimes, like in basketball?

And while we're at it with ridiculous rules in the league... what the hell happened at the end of that Steelers/Chargers game? I'm sure it enraged an awful lot of gamblers (myself included). Again, in case you missed it... the Steelers were favoured by 6.5 (according to local odds) coming into the game. With 15 seconds left, they kick a field goal to go up 11-10. By this point, people who've bet on the Steelers assume the game's over, they've lost, oh well, better luck next time.

But the Chargers end up with time for one more play from scrimmage, from about their own 30-yard-line. They line up as if it's a Hail Mary, but instead, do one of those multiple-laterals deals that worked for the Saints a few years ago. Problem is, they do about three of them but still haven't made much progress up field. Finally, Troy Polamalu clues in and keenly intercepts one of the laterals, tipping it out of the receiver's hands, picking up the bouncing ball and running about 15 yards into the end zone for a touchdown. Time has expired, Steelers win 17-10 and, amazingly enough, cover the spread!

But wait. The officials say the play is under review. Hmm. Odd. Eventually, they determine there was an illegal forward pass by the Chargers. Oh well, so what. Pittsburgh declines the penalty, accepts the touchdown, game over. Right? Wait. More delays. The officials confer again, and check the replay again. And this is what they come up with: because of the illegal forward pass, the entire play is negated, will not be replayed, the touchdown doesn't count, and the game is over. Just like that. Official final score, 11-10. Obviously no one at field level protested, because a win is a win. But I was very loudly asking the officials, through my TV screen, "what the bloody hell just happened?" They didn't respond, as you probably guessed.

Please, if anyone has any insights, fill me in, because that was one of the weirdest and most maddening endings to an NFL game that I've ever seen. Yes, Donovan, even weirder than a tie.

Lewis Hamilton Wins F1 Championship

2008-11-02T14:28:00.008-05:00

It came down to the final lap of the final race of the season to decide the 2008 Formula One champion, and in just his second season McLaren's Lewis "the Limey bastard" Hamilton took the honours. Hamilton finished fifth at the Brazilian Grand Prix, winning the title by just one point over Ferrari's Felipe Massa, who won his home race. As you can probably figure out so far, I'm none to pleased with this outcome, even though Ferrari captured the Constructor's title by placing first and third in the final race of the season.

The actual race itself started out a bit slow, mainly due to the rain and a safety car, but there was so much tension building as each lap counted down you couldn't help but feel that there was a dynamite ending coming. Massa and Ferrari did all they could to secure the championship for them, but in the end it wasn't enough, even with Fernando Alonso from Renault helping the cause. When the rain started up again with less than 10 laps to go it looked like the luck was beginning to turn Ferrari's way, and on the second-last lap it turned - Toro Rosso's Sebastian Vettel, with a Ferrari engine behind him, passed Hamilton for fifth place (the lowest he could finish to win the title) and showed no signs of being bullied into giving the place back. Side note - at this point, my dad, brother and I were all yelling at the TV to encourage Vettel on, and I actually jumped right out of my chair when he made the pass. Back to the racing: Massa, still in first place, was well ahead of the fourth/fifth/sixth/seventh group, so he crossed the line fists pumping but still not sure about his status as champion. Half a lap later, the unthinkable, for Ferrari at least, happened when Timo Glock's Toyota suddenly slowed down in the last turn and allowed Hamilton to pass him. All of a sudden, a few hundred metres from the finish, what had looked like a sure thing seconds before was taken away from poor Felipe Massa. It was absolutely stunning and unbelievable, even heartbreaking, to watch, especially when they showed a shot of the Massa family and Ferrari team celebrating in the garage, only to be told about Hamilton's final position and title win.

On the podium, Massa and Raikkonen looked understandibly sad and disappointed, but it was also interesting to see Fernando Alonso, Hamilton's ex-teammate, looking pissed at the final outcome. Even though he looked upset, Massa still celebrated his win and Ferrari's team accomplishment. At the post-race question-and-answer, Massa was an absolute gentleman in defeat and handled the whole thing a lot better than I, and I'm sure a lot of other people, other drivers included, ever could have.

Final results of the championships aside, this has been one of the most entertaining F1 seasons I can remember seeing. This year had a number of highlights, including: the first night race in F1 history at Singapore,which was an amazing spectacle; two new circuts, one fabulous (Singapore), one a total clunker (Valencia); a group of new stars making their mark; and some history being made by Hamilton winning the title, becoming the youngest F1 champ and the first black driver to win the championship. There is definetly a changing of the guard going on with names like Hamilton, Vettel, Kovalainen and Raikkonen taking over the sport, and the retirement of David Coulthard is a huge testament to that. Next season will see major changes to F1, including cost-cutting measures, being more environmentally conscious and returning to slick tyres. If next year's anything like this season, we shouldn't even notice a difference.

Phillies win World Series

2008-10-29T22:41:00.004-04:00

After possibly the most dramatic and memorable World Series ever, the Philadelphia Phillies finished (or should I say phinished) off the Tampa Bay Rays 4-3 to win their second MLB title. Phillies pitcher Cole Hamels won the MVP award after an insane postseason where he went 4-0 with a 1.80 ERA and also won the LCS MVP title. Other things that interested me included...

Game 5. The torrential downpour, the crappy conditions, suspending the game... even more tension and drama than a usual playoff game. I thought it was ridiculous that they kept playing with the weather the way it was, and I truly believe that if the Rays hadn't scored they would have made them keep playing just to avoid handing Philly the game by calling it (Sportsnet's Scott Carson says they shouldn't have even started the game under those conditions).
Phillies GM Pat Gillick won his third World Series after winning the first two with the Blue Jays way back in the day. In the 15 years since that epic 1993 Series, I really can't believe that the Phillies beat the Jays back to the big dance. Hey Pat, I know a GM position that just might come available soon...

Speaking of the Blue Jays, I was rooting for the Phillies essentially because they have the most recent ex-Jay on their roster, the big man from New Brunswick Matt Stairs. When he was traded away I didn't really think the Phillies would win it all, but I'm glad they did - if he's not going to play for the Jays, I'm glad Stairsy is with the champions.
Now I know that everyone was high on the Rays this year, and I will admit they had quite the impressive turnaround, but it still wasn't enough for me to cheer for them. And really, do people need to feel bad for Evan Longoria? I'm sure it's disappointing to lose the World Series, but he made the pros after a handful of games in AAA and his team made the playoffs for the first time in franchise history. I think he'll be alright.
Does the Philly Phanatic really need a champions hat and a flag to wave? Just saying...

So good for the Phillies to keep the title out of the AL East this year - and good luck keeping those miserable Philadelphia sports fans happy next year.

Old men and hype -- a potentially dangerous mix

2008-10-24T18:58:00.003-04:00

So, everybody who's surprised by the news that EliteXC went bankrupt, raise your hands. Yeah, I thought so. After the Kimbo Slice (photo, right) debacle -- wherein the allegedly unstoppable former YouTube star was knocked loopy in under a minute by previously-unheralded, pink-haired crossdresser Seth Petruzelli -- it was really only a matter of time. That became especially obvious when Petruzelli claimed, in the aftermath of the fight, that promoters had "encouraged" him to keep the fight off the ground and, essentially, serve as a punching bag for the company's bread and butter. But lo and behold, putting all of your eggs in one basket (a largely inexperienced basket, at that) usually yields disaster, as was the case for the now-defunct MMA circuit.

Now, before EliteXC gets written off as just another one of the dozens of low-rent MMA circuits that have started up and folded (and will continue to start up and fold) in the wake of UFC's massive ongoing success, there were a few things they did manage to do in their short run.

They got MMA on nationwide cable television in the U.S. I have absolutely no idea how the folks at EliteXC went into the CBS studios and sold the executives on their league, which was hinging its success on a terrifying-looking, barely articulate beast of a man who, only a short time earlier, had been making his name by punching guys in parking lots for $100. But they did it. And, for better or for worse, it boosted the profile of the sport. For anyone who considers themselves a fan, that's a good thing.
They proved that doing ridiculous shit on YouTube actually can lead to a lucrative payday. This may lead to more knuckle-dragging teenagers, thinking they'll be the next Kimbo, taking awful swings at one another while their buddy screams at the top of his lungs and shakily records it on a webcam. Fights -- especially bad ones -- often lead to serious injuries. And anything that results in stupid teenagers injuring themselves gets my seal of approval.
They legitimized women's MMA. Now, to be fair, my knowledge of women's MMA (like that of most people) kinda begins and ends with Gina Carano (photo). But hey, the women's game definitely has its own flavour and interest. Besides (and this is going to sound like heresy to other red-blooded males, but so be it), you can only see a fake-chested flake waving around a numerical sign indicating the round so many times before it become dull and unnecessary (other than as a palate-cleanser after watching sweaty men roll around with each other, I suppose).

Now, I'm sure there are plenty of reasons the company went belly-up, but as I alluded to in the opening paragraph, it's tough to dispute that one of those was their over-reliance on hyping up an untested fighter like Kimbo. It's not to say that people can't make a transition from other disciplines and become successful fighters; it's just unrealistic to expect someone with one professional fight (against a horribly washed-up Tank Abbott, who was at no point in his career a representative of today's MMA, anyway) to carry your company on his back.

Fast forward to the upcoming UFC event next month, featuring the "biggest fight in UFC history" -- Randy Couture against Brock Lesnar. Obviously you know where I'm going with this. Lesnar is a freakish athlete and does have a strong background in amateur wrestling (as opposed to Kimbo's unsophisticated backyard brawling). But what is his professional MMA record? 2-1. Three fights. And he's the #1 contender for the heavyweight title. Also, don't forget that this fight was rushed into existence after the UFC didn't bother forcing Couture to regain the title from "interim" titleholder Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira.

Now, will Couture v.s. Lesnar be a better fight than Kimbo v.s. Ken Shamrock would have been? Most likely. But it represents short-sightedness on the part of Dana White and the UFC's bookers (or whatever you'd call them) that is eerily reminiscent of the Kimbo saga. No question this is a "big money" fight -- and with Couture being 45 years old, his days in the Octagon are clearly numbered. Truth be told, if I said I wasn't looking forward to this fight, I'd be lying. And hey, if this is an isolated case -- of the UFC rushing someone into the title picture built mainly on hype and name recognition as opposed to convincing in-ring results -- then it's probably acceptable, considering the cash that they're raking in at the moment.

But if this becomes a trend, it could become dangerous for UFC. They're still on the upswing, with new fans being pulled into the mix on a monthly basis, and what'll draw these fans are big names and big fights. But over the long haul, what keeps a fan attracted to a sport like MMA is their ability to connect with fighters over a period of time: to see them rise through the ranks, experience victories and drawbacks, and maybe, one day, get a sniff of the title. UFC has thus far handled their talent development extremely well through their usage of The Ultimate Fighter to promote new talent.

And that's the way it needs to stay. UFC needs to continue building its stars from the ground up and give the public a reason to care over the long term. Because if it doesn't, if it chooses to make a habit of giving title shots and main event slots to untested guys who have the sizzle (but not necessarily the steak), we could very well be eulogizing them some day in the same way we are EliteXC.

Double the disappointment come April? Sign me up!

2008-10-21T16:04:00.003-04:00

Here's some news that ranks right up there with the pronouncement that water is, indeed, wet -- the NHL brass believes Toronto could support a second NHL franchise. Several NHL governors told the Globe's Dave Shoalts that the league is currently considering the idea, which makes you wonder where these guys were when Bettman et. al. were handing out franchises south of the Mason-Dixon line faster than you can say "no naturally-occuring ice." The at-present-entirely-imaginary second Toronto team would come through either expansion or -- the more likely scenario if these governors truly have fully functioning brains -- through relocation.

The smiling chap in the photo is, of course, Jim Balsillie of BlackBerry fame, who unsuccessfully tried to buy the Penguins, then unsuccessfully tried to buy the Predators (shooting himself in the foot with colossal arrogance in the process) and got temporarily blacklisted by the NHL brass for his thinly-veiled intent to move whichever franchise he purchases to Hamilton.

But Balsillie has now gotten himself back in the good graces of the league after his bailout of the aforementioned Preds following minority stakeholder William "Boots" Del Biaggio's utter destruction (read: bankruptcy). And speaking of bailouts, have you noticed that the US economy has kinda gone into the shitter? All of a sudden, taking a garbage team like the Preds (who'll go bankrupt within three years at this rate), selling them off to a guy like Balsillie and letting them move to a proven cash cow like Toronto -- well, it doesn't sound so bad.

Is it a good idea? Will it work? Well, yes. And yes.

But wait. A second Toronto team would obviously have to be approved by MLSE first. So what does our old pal Richard Peddie have to say?"When and if the league brings expansion to the table, we'll listen and decide what is best [for hockey].” Now, that quote comes directly from the Shoalts article, with the words "for hockey" put in parentheses by Shoalts. What was Peddie's original quote? Did his sentence end at the word "best"? Because if it did, one can reasonably infer that "what's best" means "what's best for MLSE", and what's best for the solely profit-driven MLSE is a complete monopoly in the city's hockey market.

But then, maybe Peddie and his pals aren't afraid of a little competition after all --"The Maple Leafs would not be hurt one bit. In fact, it would help them. They could make all kinds of money renting the Air Canada Centre to the other team.”

Well, sure, the Leafs' parent company could make some extra coin by renting out the ACC to the Toronto Number Twos. But the Leafs would not hurt one bit? Really? If the Leafs are in such a terrific, unmovable position atop the Toronto sports heap, why are they running a marketing campaign this year of unprecedented scope, focusing on "spirit" and "passion" (and all sorts of other intangibles that don't technically mean "short-term success")? Why have they undertaken new measures to win over young fan s, if the Leafs are Toronto's natural ruling franchise?

Could it be because Canada's fastest-growing sports are soccer and basketball, which appeal to Toronto's immigrant communities in ways hockey never could? Could it be that the average hockey fan is tired of being abused and neglected by the bean-counters in Leafland, who long ago abandoned the real fans in pursuit of the extremely well-to-do? Could it be that they fear that, if another NHL franchise sprung up in Toronto, it would instantly attract thousands of fiercely vocal, diehard, long-ignored supporters (just like MLSE's own Toronto FC), taking away much of the cultural cache of attending a Leafs game (and, in the process, lowering the prices that people are willing to pay to attend Leafs games)?

I don't believe for a second that the Leafs "wouldn't be hurt one bit" by a new franchise, and I wonder whether Peddie truly believes this himself. I guess when the attitude is, and always has been, that the Leafs are essentially a money faucet for its owners, there's no need to seriously consider alternate realities. But if a current NHL team were to relocate to Toronto (and bring with it a roster that was likely further along the "rebuilding" trail than the Leafs), offer tickets at prices that young fans and families could actually afford, and play exciting hockey that people could enjoy without feeling that they're lining the coffers of the widely-reviled MLSE board... then yes, the Leafs would indeed hurt one bit. They'd hurt quite a bit.

And that's exactly why it'll probably never happen.

Au revoir, F1

2008-10-07T11:09:00.003-04:00

I'm willing to admit that I'm a rather jaded person, and nothing really surprises me any more when it comes to the increasingly business-oriented world of sports. But the news this morning that the Canadian Grand Prix has been removed from the Formula One calendar just about knocked me off my desk chair. The new schedule, just released today after the World Motorsport Council's meeting, has the race being dropped basically in favour of the new race at Abu Dhabi.

I was absolutely shocked to hear this, because up until now there had been absolutely no mention of a move like this. Even though in recent years there has been a lot of schedule shuffling and race dates moving, there were always a few races that were almost sacred and couldn't be touched. While it isn't one of the main European stops, like Monza, Germany, Spa, Monaco, etc., the Canadian Grand Prix was always considered to be in that group, with a stable location and always having a ton of fan support from Eastern Canada and the US. Even with the lack of a race in the US, teams were still willing, and excited about, coming to Canada every June for the event. And within Canada, not many other events on the sporting calendar can boast the numbers, both from TV viewership and fans on site, that the Grand Prix can.

This race is one of the highlights of the F1 calendar. The drivers love it, the fans love it, and the city of Montreal loves it. It's one of the best attended races, makes Montreal a lot of money in tourism dollars, and the teams can never say enough good things about the city and hospitality of the locals. None of that seems to matter to the FIA and Bernie Ecclestone, however, because he seems intent on wrenching F1 away from the people and places who actually care about the sport and simply chasing the new money to places like Turkey, Bahrain, Singapore, China and Abu Dhabi. Notice a trend there? Surely it can't be a coincidence that all these new tracks are located in Asia, where everyone seems to be moving any part of their business that they can. Yet out of those countries, how many of them have a driver currently on the F1 circuit? Or have ever had a driver employed by an F1 team? NONE. Absolutely zero. The closest in Asia is India, with Narain Karthikeyan driving for the Jordan team for one season, and Japan, who have had lots of F1 success with Honda, Toyota and a handful of drivers. Because of a lack of homegrown drivers or teams, there is also very little actual fan base for these races - the Turkish GP is usually dominated with people coming over from Europe, and the other sites are usually just filled with rich businessmen as corporate guests rather than actual fans.

Now I'm not naive enough to think that the sporting world can stay a separate entity and not have to worry about the business end of things, but at some point you have to wonder why Ecclestone even bothers to call this a sport. Formula One has become his own personal traveling roadshow that he's trying to get every cent he can out of, regardless of what the teams in the sport or the fans who watch and pay for it think. Events like Turkey and Bahrain will never, ever be able to have the tradition, history and mistique of the European races. You can't replace Monaco, because there's no where else in the world like it, with the narrow streets, harbour view and glamour. There is nothing that can even come close to F1 in Italy, with Ferrari racing before the adoring tifosi (fans) cheering them on. Yet to someone like Ecclestone and the rest of the FIA, they would rather line their pockets with corporate cash from Asia than have fans at the tracks in Europe and North America actually enjoying the spectacle.

F1 has been coming to Canada since the 1960s when the Canadian GP was held at Mosport Park, near Peterborough, before being moved to Montreal in 1978. Even when the changes in tobacco advertising laws happened in the early 2000s, the organizers still found a way to keep the race going after the FIA wanted to drop it. I refuse to believe that the people of Montreal and the organizers of the race, who, incidently, have a contract with the FIA that's no where near expiring, will let Ecclestone yank the rug out from underneath them permanently.

They're baaack!

2008-10-04T22:16:00.003-04:00

Yes indeed, it's finally hockey season... sorta. This afternoon the New York Rangers faced off against the Tampa Bay Lightning over in Prague and the Ottawa Senators took on the Pittsburgh Penguins in Stockholm in the first regular season games of the 2008-2009 season, even though there's still three days worth of pre-season games going on back on this side of the Atlantic. But, details aside, it was nice to get hockey back (especially considering the anti-climactic-ness of the baseball playoffs this year).

Even though I had no interest in it, I found myself drawn to the TV for the Rangers-Bolts game - well, for about 30 minutes at least. Still didn't look right to see names like Naslund and Redden on Broadway blueshirts, but I mainly wanted a look at Steven Stamkos and Barry Melrose's hair (it's no 1993 mullet, but getting close). That Stamkos kid is as fast as they say he is, and I can't wait to see him play live. It took a while for the game to really start moving, but both teams had a slew of new guys probably still getting used to eachother. Enjoyed laughing at Andrej Meszaros doing the same things he did in Ottawa, but for some reason they gave him an 'A'... interesting choice considering they also have Ryan Malone, Gary Roberts, Vaclav Prospal, Mark Recchi and Martin St Louis on the team. Rangers won 2-1, but it was never very exciting.

Second game was what I was really watching for - first game of the year for the Sens, and the deluded optimisim somehow managed to make an appearance, even though I should know better. All this week the focus has been on Alfredsson because of the whole homecoming thing, and I say it's about damn time the rest of the league pays attention to what we in Ottawa have seen for more than a decade now. He looked so happy to be playing in front of 'hometown' fans for this game, and looked so cute singing along with the Swedish national anthem! Since they were in his hometown, Mats Sundin came out to drop the opening faceoff and recieved quite the standing ovation. Thankfully he was not wearing a cardigan. The game itself started predictibly enough with Gerber letting in a softie on the first shot he faced, suspiciously similar to the pre-season game against Montreal last Saturday night. Rumours about replacing him, specifically with Nikolai Khabibulin, started by the first intermission, courtesy of Mike Millbury. The Sens still definetly look like a team with some work to do, so I'm glad they have almost a full week off after tomorrow's re-match with the Pens. The defence was decent, although I'm not quite sold on Jason Smith just yet and some of the pairings will probably need some tinkering. Was impressed by the Donovan-McAmmond-Schubert line who came up with the first goal, and by Nick Foligno who was all over the ice. Unfortunately for people like me, the game also ended predictibly enough with a Jason Spezza turnover. This is nothing new for us, given that the way Spezza plays there's usually a 50-50 chance that he'll do something amazing and win the game, or something amateurish and lose it. Today we got the latter. C'est la vie. At least we get a second chance tomorrow.

New week, new ramblings...

2008-09-29T12:54:00.002-04:00

Why has everyone been so quick to anoint the Penguins as the team-to-beat in the Eastern Conference again this season? Yeah, it's tough to bet against any team that's got Crosby and Malkin in their lineup, but as has been proven time and again, one big scoring line does not a championship contender make. This is not the same team that went to the Finals last year -- notably, they're without Gary Roberts, Marian Hossa, Ryan Malone, Georges Laraque and Jarkko Ruutu (the claim could be made that the usefulness of the last two guys is limited in the "new" NHL; but if that's the case, why would a Cup contender like the Penguins have acquired their services in the first place?) Sure, Matt Cooke, Miroslav Satan and Ruslan Fedotenko aren't bums (well, Satan is), but do the Pens still deserve the 6-1 odds to win the Cup that they're receiving? We'll see.
New York, New York... the city so nice, their baseball teams let them down twice. While the Yankees' absence from the playoffs made the Yankee Stadium farewell seem a bit off, yesterday's ultimate game at Shea Stadium seemed somehow... fitting. The poor, constantly overshadowed Metropolitans, with a beautiful chance to upstage their crosstown rivals by reaching October... and they blew it. The only difference between last year's collapse and this year's -- if 2007 was like watching the team die of cancer, 2008 was like watching them get shot in the head on the last day before retirement. Oh well. Maybe Carlos Delgado will come back home after this...?
Speaking of the National League, I'm very torn about the Brewers. They haven't been any good since the early 90s -- when they were pushing the Jays and Orioles in the AL East, and the last time they were in the playoffs, my parents were childless. So there's the sappy, feel-good part of it. But unless you live in Milwaukee, how do you support a team that was classless enough to fire their manager two weeks before the end of the season, in the midst of a playoff chase?
"I hope there's a chance that I can come back [to Toronto] and play." That's A.J. Burnett talking. Hey A.J., there is a chance, a very good chance -- it's called not opting out of your contract, which is set to pay you $24 million for your next two inconsistent, injury-plagued seasons. It's not very complicated.
On that note, Paul Godfrey is done as President and CEO of the Blue Jays... presumably so he can spend more of his time attempting to destroy the CFL and making appearances on Off The Record.
Boy, it's getting tough to be an Argonauts fan. That's all I'm going to say there.
So on the same day that Brett Favre throws for a career-high six (!) touchdowns for the Jets, Aaron Rodgers suffers a possibly-separated shoulder in a Packers loss to Tampa Bay. Cue the morons who will use this as fodder for their "packerz shuld have kept favre!!!!" arguments, since obviously, if we lived in the alternate universe where that was the case, everything else would have played out exactly the same (including Rodgers somehow separating his shoulder by lifting a clipboard on the sidelines?)
In other news... thanks for costing me $20, Denver. A two-touchdown loss to the Chiefs? Really? Maybe that's karmic realignment for your bogus victory over the Chargers earlier this season, but for Christ's sakes, does anyone actually want to win the AFC? Your favourites to come out of the conference right now -- the Bills and Titans?! Good God.
During the post-match press conference following Toronto FC's 1-1 draw with the Houston Dynamo on Saturday, manager John Carver made some interesting comments regarding Dynamo and Canada midfielder Dwayne DeRosario -- more or less the old, "well, I can't technically say anything about him since he's on another team and that would be tampering... but yeah, we really like him, nudge nudge." DeRo, for his part, gave the same sort of "well, I love the team I play for and right now, that's not Toronto" answer when asked. With TFC's desire to spend the cash on a designated player this offseason, and rumblings about it being a Canadian, could we see DeRo make the jump back up north? (Nah, my guess is it'll be Paul Stalteri -- don't laugh).

Another first for F1

2008-09-28T23:41:00.006-04:00

Today's Formula One race from Singapore was a landmark event (and yet another piece in the NASCAR-ization puzzle that Bernie Ecclestone is trying to complete, but that's another story). This marked the first time that an F1 race was run at night, under the lights in one of the most dazzling displays I've ever seen in motorsport. Yes, NASCAR and IRL (Indy Racing League) have been runing night races for a few years now, but that's over in America where gimmicks are often needed to attract fans to open-wheel racing, and rednecks are just impressed by all the shiny things.

As usual, I was all ready to be sceptical and cynical about the entire event, from the obvious desire to have the night race just for the sake of racing at night to Ecclestone's obvious desire to move F1 from Europe to Asia, since that's where the money is. Even I have to admit, however, that it was a cool event and, more importantly, a good race (well, unless you're a Ferrari fan like me, in which case it was infuriating and made you want to kick your over-priced, over-sized TV) because...

The drivers made good use of the extra practice time available. Normally there's only Friday practice and then Saturday qualifying, but teams were allowed more time than usual on the track to get used to a new circuit and driving in the dark. There didn't seem to be any nervousness or bad driving due to the unfamiliar conditions which was a nice surprise.

The circuit itself was spectacular, especially when viewed from above with all the lights on. I'm a big fan of street courses because they're generally more interesting and entertaining than the newer traditional road courses, and this one really impressed me. Drivers managed to find plenty of spaces for passing (thanks in part to the Jarno Trulli train early on) and there were lots of interesting turns to negotiate. The track also showed off the trendy/touristy parts of Singapore really well.

The cars looked even more gorgeous than usual. Even on a cloudy, rainy day F1 cars are magnificent machines, so under the dazzling lights they looked absolutely amazing either parked or driving at full speed.

The weather held up! Technically speaking, it's monsoon season right now, so the organizers, F1 officials and teams were all worried about the likelihood of a rain storm during the race. Even though there have been some exciting rain races this season, no one knew what the combination of lights and torrential rain would be like, so it's for the best that this one stayed dry.

The race came right down to the end to determine a winner. Fernando Alonso came across the line first, but it was entertaining and exciting until the chequered flag. A few safety cars, some penalties that moved people around, strange pit strategies... all in a day's work.

The lights stayed on. Now this may seem like a very basic thing to ask for, but when the entire track is being lit by newly installed lights running off a system of generators... well, the posibility of problems happening gets quite high. In the end everything worked out and no blackouts happened, so score one for the home team.

Unfortunately the day wasn't all a basket of roses, especially for Ferrari: Felipe Massa was in great position and running well before a massive fuck-up during his pit stop, being released early and driving out of his pit box into the path of Adrian Sutil's oncoming Force India car with his fuel hose still firmly attached, completely ruined his day. Then, three laps from the end, Kimi "I'm sure earning that new contract" Raikkonen crashed, ensuring that Ferrari wouldn't score any points. Fabulous. From a completely unbiased viewpoint, however, I will admit that I was more than impressed with the race and pleasantly surprised by the atmosphere of the night racing. Not to say that I'd want more races like this every year, but it was a novel concept that is definetly due another look in the future.

Throwing some crumbs to the masses

2008-09-26T15:10:00.000-04:00

This time, they're serious! This team is rebuilding! No more quick fixes! The Maple Leafs are going to put together the pieces necessary to become a team like the Red Wings, Devils, Avalanche or, sigh, Senators -- a team with a core that can make them competitive every year, and the capability to replenish their roster when necessary. I know this because Larry Tanenbaum said it. And if there's one thing the big guys at MLSE can be counted on to provide, it's hockey sense.

That's why the Leafs don't want a rookie GM like Steve Yzerman, says Tanenbaum. Maybe this is a sign that management learned their lesson after dropping executive neophyte John Ferguson Jr. into the maelstrom that is the world's biggest hockey market. Although, when you think about it, Yzerman's not technically a rookie -- he did serve as Team Canada's GM when we won the gold at the World Championships last year. Plus, serving as team captain for nearly 20 years in one of a hockey-mad environment like Detroit has probably immunized him to the pressure more than JFJ's minor-league dabblings did...

But no matter. Yzerman is no good. The same way Richard Peddie wisely deemed Scotty Bowman unsuitable for the GM job last summer, another head of the MLSE hydra has evaluated Stevie Y's suitability and deemed it unsatisfactory. What would the Leafs want all these Red Wings castoffs for, anyway? What has that franchise accomplished in the last 15 years?

Now, sure, I realize that the Leafs are just holding out one more year for Brian Burke, and allowing Cliff Fletcher to keep his seat warm for him in the meantime. Tanenbaum said that the GM who wrests the job from Fletcher will have that post for five to 10 years! So surely it's going to be someone with a track record of building a team from the ground up and moulding them into a time-tested winner. Like Burke! Forget the whole "getting fired after a year as GM in Hartford" thing, that never happened. Remember when he took the moribund Canucks franchise and did such great things as:

ended up terrible enough to have sequential draft picks with which to scoop up the Sedin twins
referred to Vancouver as a "goalie wasteland" (long before Dave Nonis managed to swindle the Panthers out of Roberto Luongo, of course)
took the team to the second round of the playoffs -- once!

Then he parachuted into a Bryan Murray-built team in Anaheim, lured the mercenary services of a wife-whipped Chris Pronger, and won one Stanley Cup! Not to mention the pathetic, juvenile pissing contests with Kevin Lowe that he played out through the media. What a hero! Screw you, Yzerman! This is the man to build a franchise around. Look how confident he is! How brash! His swagger with the media! Imagine how effective he'd be at completely deflecting attention and blame away from upper management!

Oh... that couldn't be the whole point, could it?

Yeah yeah, it's easy and disingenuous to blame the suits for everything that ails the team. It's even easier (and somewhat less disingenuous) to be angry at them for continually slapping a Leafs logo and a ridiculous price tag on anything and everything that they think may produce a return for the Teachers' Pension Plan. But hey, at least this time it can be said they have a plan. It may not be a particularly good one, but at least -- seemingly -- the bigwigs at MLSE have an idea of what's going to happen next for the Leafs, other than "it'll make us money."

That might be because there's no proof the team will continue to be the license to print cash it traditionally has been. How else do you explain the team's efforts to target young fans, such as the free pre-season game they played against the Sabres this week? Gee, could it be that when you price families out of the market for your games and merchandise -- thereby alienating kids who may have gravitated towards hockey who'll now latch onto other sports -- and put your efforts towards dilettante businesspeople with no legitimate interest in the team or sport, other than as a "corporate entertainment expense", that the house of cards will fall apart at some point? That, if there are no rabid fans that make the ACC the "place to be", corporate folks will no longer pay a premium to watch a crummy team?

It doesn't take an astute business mind to figure that out. The same way it doesn't necessarily take an astute hockey mind to run a franchise. So whether or not Burke-instead-of-Yzerman is the best hockey move (and, truth be told, it probably is), it's not being made as a hockey move -- it, like everything else MLSE does, is a business move. Based on their projections and forecasts, the moves they are currently undertaking are the most likely to produce a long-term profit for the shareholders.

Tanenbaum says that the consortium's goal isn't just to win the Cup, but to make the team into a perennial contender, like the teams mentioned way back at the beginning of this post. And ultimately, if that's what happens... then I'll be happy, regardless of whether the motive was profit or glory. But, as even management now admits, we'll all have to wait to find out.

Major League Silliness

2008-09-16T16:45:00.009-04:00

For the most part, the people of Ottawa love Eugene Melnyk. He came in not too long ago like a white knight and saved the Ottawa Senators from what seemed like certain demise when he bought the team and the Corel Centre for them to play in. He's become a huge philanthropic figure within the city and one of the most respected businessmen in Southern and Eastern Ontario. But this time, I think he's a little off base.

There's been rumblings for a few weeks, at least locally, about Melnyk's latest enterprise and conquest: he wants to bring a Major League Soccer team to Ottawa. That's right, if good ol' Gene has his way Toronto FC will have a rival four hours down the 401 just like the Maple Leafs. Now on the surface I have no problem with this. I obviously think Ottawa is a great sports town that can totally support more than just an NHL team and minor pro baseball. Being one of the host cities for the FIFA U-20 World Cup also showed that we have thoursands of soccer fans in the city and surrounding area who enjoy seening world-class soccer. But let's face it - Ottawa's no Toronto when it comes to sheer population and numbers to support a multitude of sports teams and facilities. In addition, there's also the fact that Jeff Hunt is currently trying to bring the Canadian Football League back to Ottawa and re-furbish Frank Clair Stadium at Landsdowne Park. And with the way things go in this city, it could be a case of too much of a good thing at one time.

My first issue is with the fact that Melnyk thinks he can land an MLS team. The league has already committed to expanding by two teams, to Philadelphia and Seattle, over the next two years, and then two more teams in 2011. Logic would dictate that Montreal, home of the Impact and Saputo Field, and/or Vancouver, with the Whitecaps, would be at the top of the list for the MLS to consider. Ottawa has to be considered to be behind either of those cities, not to mention other American destinations, when it comes to the home of the next MLS team. In terms of just Canadian cities, Montreal already has a gorgeous brand-new, soccer-specific stadium where the Impact play. Ottawa would need to build a stadium, which Melnyk has pledged to do out near Scotiabank Place in Kanata (and that in itself is a whole other kettle of fish I'm not starting in on).

The other thing that makes for a bit of a sticky situation is the aforementioned CFL bid from Jeff Hunt, owner of the Ottawa 67s junior team, and his partners. The CFL obviously has history and tradition here in Ottawa, and a lot of people want to see a team return. Problem is that Hunt and his team have a much rockier road ahead of them - the league wants a huge franchise fee (basically to guarantee we won't have another Glieberman situation), not everyone in the city is exactly jumping up and down with enthousiasm, and as of right now there's only three-quarters of a stadium for the team to play in (the bottom half of the South Side stands was imploded this summer because of structural defects that would cost more to fix than fall down). The CFL has committed to having a team in Ottawa for the 2010 season, but having a stadium in place was part of the deal.

This is where it gets tricky - Hunt and his team have a stadium, but need to wrangle with the city to get money and some fixing up done. Melnyk has the money to build his own stadium, but needs a site to do it. Hunt has the backing of the league he wants a team in, while Melnyk has to wait and see what the MLS will do. Hunt is certainly respected as a businessman and a sportsman, after his turnaround of the 67s, within the city, but he has a group of investors to work with. Melnyk is probably even more respected, what with being even more flush with cash, and doesn't really have anyone else to answer to in terms of investment. While I would obviously love to get both pro soccer and football in the city, I can't see it happening any time soon. In fact, I think this has the potential to make a divide within the sports fans of this city - those who want a football team back wouldn't want to see municipal money and energy put towards building a new stadium when we already have a perfectly good one (minus the lower stands) sitting empty, and those who want soccer are more inclined to support the new stadium project and not care at all about Landsdowne Park.

Since the MLS hasn't made any decisions about expansion teams yet, and likely won't for a while, we get to play the waiting game for a couple of years. The CFL is closer on the horizon, but it's still a few years away as well. I'll be interested to see where the battle lines get drawn between the two groups, and for the time being, we at least have the politics of it all to keep ourselves amused.

It's easier to write in bullet points than full paragraphs

2008-09-15T15:32:00.002-04:00

For the first time in what seems like forever, the Jays were actually playing meaningful baseball in September. Shockingly, a 10-game win streak had helped them crawl back into a position where a sweep of the Red Sox could make them legitimate contenders for the wild card spot. Unshockingly, they lost three of four at Fenway and will now play two weeks of meaningless ball... marking the 26th time this season (and 694th time overall) that they've gotten our hopes up before crashing back down to Earth.
Though, really, if you want to talk about hopes coming crashing down to Earth, you can't get much better than the Canadian men's national soccer team. Boasting several legitimate international stars and riding a wave of patriotic enthusiasm, the team looked good when this round of World Cup qualifying began a month ago. A few unlucky bounces, some dubious officiating and questionable coaching, and they're in need of some desperate help in order to advance to the next round. Get the full scoop here.
But when it comes to the "WTF?" category, the Argonauts take the cake this week. If you're not a CFL fan, here's a quick recap. Last season, Kerry Joseph leads the Roughriders to the Grey Cup championship, and wins Most Outstanding Player honours in the process. Meanwhile, the Argos finally give long-time backup QB Michael Bishop a chance as a starter, and he performs well (until a dismal showing in the East division final, which the Argos lose). Due to salary cap concerns, it becomes clear that the 'Riders can't keep Joseph, while the Argos apparently decide that Bishop is actually not ready to be their starting QB. So the Argos trade some spare parts in order to get Joseph, promising there will be competition for the starter's role. A QB controversy ensues, with Joseph starting every game and Bishop not receiving a real chance to perform. The team struggles. Eventually, they decide Joseph in their man and trade Bishop to the Roughriders in exchange for, again, some spare parts.

The shaky start to the season, fuelled partly by the QB controversy, costs head coach Rich Stubler his job. He is replaced by the legendary Don Matthews, who at the age of 69, has been out of the league entirely for two years and claims, essentially, that every player will have to start at zero in his eyes. This past week, Bishop puts on a clinic for the Roughriders and wins Offensive Player of the Week honours. Meanwhile, Joseph putters along in an embarrassing 39-9 shellacking at the hands of the Blue Bombers. Midway through the game, last year's MOP, Grey Cup winner and the one deemed to be the Argos' go-to #1 QB is replaced by Cody Pickett who, to that point, had never taken a snap in the CFL. And who's going to start this week's game? None other than Pickett, while Joseph rides the bench and Bishop takes the snaps for Saskatchewan. Ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. God love it, only in the CFL would we get this kind of wonderful nonsense.
So for all the hand-wringing about medal counts and disappointing performances and the lack of standout stars for Canada at the Olympics, there doesn't seem to be much coverage of Chantal Peticlerc, who won two gold medals and set two world records in the course of 90 minutes the other day in Beijing. The wheelchair racer has now won 20 medals in her Paralympic career (including five golds at Athens in 2004) and busted numerous world records along the way. How's that for Canadian athletic inspiration?
Uh oh, is this another "tuck rule" controversy in the making? At the end of the Broncos/Chargers game over the weekend, Jay Cutler clearly fumbled the ball as we was dropping back to pass, but a quick whistle by referee Ed "Popeye" Hochuli meant that the play was dead and Denver retained possession, even though a San Diego player had recovered the ball. Denver went on to score and win, which I'm sure will burn some bums in Charger-land should they, say, miss out on the playoffs by one win. The NFL is now going to review the rule in the offseason, potentially allowing changes of possession to occur even after whistles have gone, if replays determine that the whistle was "inadvertent". Now, I think the usage of instant replay is useful in most sports, but when replays can render the whistle of the in-game officials obsolete, haven't we perhaps gone a bit too far?
Speaking of... man, I can't wait for the first MLB replay controversy to take place, and to watch all the purists soil their pants at how the game has been destroyed.
If you're an MMA fan (even a casual one like me), chances are you can't wait for the so-called "biggest fight in UFC history" in November, when Randy Couture squares off against Brock Lesnar for the heavyweight title. Sure, it's an over-the-hill fighter in his mid-40s going against an inexperienced, clumsy beast who's only being promoted for his name recognition, but it should be fun, right? Well, if you think this way and just can't wait until November, then EliteXC's October card should be right up your alley... Ken Shamrock versus Kimbo Slice. Dear God. How badly does Shamrock need a paycheque?
Then again, any excuse to get Gina Carano on TV that doesn't involve the Joust is OK by me.

The Kids Are Alright

2008-09-14T11:14:00.004-04:00

Today's Italian Grand Prix at Monza was a memorable one - and not just because of the downpour during the first half of the race. A crazy qualifying session, also in the rain, on Saturday set up an upside-down starting grid, including Heikki Kovaleinen and Felipe Massa outqualifying their teammates Lewis Hamilton and Kimi Raikkonen and the Sebastians of Toro Rosso (Vettel and Bourdais) starting in the top five. Popular wisdom suggested that the leaders would carve their way through the pack, and experience and nerve would triumph over ballsy, youthful driving. It didn't quite work out that way.

Kimi Raikkonen had a disastrous day and only seemed to wake up with about seven laps to go, completely screwing up his assigned task of being Felipe Massa's wingman by failing to really break away from the mid-pack once the track started to dry out. Lewis Hamilton started the race horribly shaky and all over the track, but managed to carve his way through the field after the leaders started to head for the pit lanes. He was one-stopping, but the strategy backfired when the rain held off and he was forced to come in for another set of tires to keep him in the race. Felipe Massa had moments where he looked like he could make a move, but then just couldn't keep the pressure up. Mark Weber was racing well, but got punted off the track by Hamilton while trying to make a pass late in the race and couldn't catch him again. Sebastien Bourdais never made it off the starting line during the formation lap and was forced to start a lap down and never made up the difference. Fernando Alonso also had his moments, but couldn't keep it together enough to have an impact.

On the flipside, Sebastian Vettel got out to a massive lead in the rain while no one else could see five feet in front of them and never looked back (not that he could with all the water on the track). The pit stops worked out for him to get on the right tires at the right time, and that made all the difference. He basically led wire-to-wire to win his first F1 race, and become the youngest person to do so, and scored the first win for Scuderia Toro Rosso. It was a nice consolation prize for the Italian fans to see the Ferrari 'B-team' take the win, and with Vettel winning we got to hear the German-Italian anthem combo for the first time since Michael Schumacher retired. The other two drivers on the podium are also relative newbies to the F1 scene, with Heikki Kovalainen and Robert Kubica coming in second and third. All three are relatively young (Kubica is 24 and in his second full year, Kovalainen 27 and also second year, and Vettel is a 21-year-old rookie) and have all scored their first victories this season, with Kubica winning in Montreal and Kovalainen at Silverstone.

It's just one race, and with the bad weather all weekend it was no surprise to see a few unfamiliar names at the top of the leaders board, but it's also interesting to see the shift between F1's old boys and the new guard coming up. With Schumacher gone, Coulthard retiring and Reubens Barrichello not exactly tearing up the track in his Honda, there is a new era coming - and if this is any sort of preview, there's still plenty of excitment to come.

No more Meszing around

2008-08-30T17:21:00.004-04:00

Apparently the Tampa Bay Lightning built their arena on a gold mine - at least that's the only explanation I can come up with as to how they have been capable of spending at the rate they have this summer, presumably trying buy their way out of the basement. In addition to landing Steven Stamkos with the top draft pick, they also signed Ryan Malone, Gary Roberts, Olaf Kolzig, Mark Recchi, Adam Hall and Radim Vrbata. The latest overpriced fish landed this week was Andrej Meszaros, formerly of the Ottawa Senators. And I say good riddance to bad rubbish.

Meszaros's first season in the league he was awesome, but largely overlooked - he was part of the Ovechkin-Crosby-Phaneuf group the first year back after the lockout, so he mostly played his way along under the radar. That season Meszaros had the good fortune of playing on a stacked Sens d-line, including Wade Redden, Anton Volchenkov, and Chris Phillips, and was usually paired with fellow Slovak Zdeno Chara. I really think playing with a solid defenceman like Chara was part of what made him so successful that year, so when Chara left for Boston the next season, Meszaros moved up the list and into the top four, now getting paired with Redden. They weren't nearly as successful together, and, from some inside scoop that I heard, Redden did not enjoy the pairing because he thought that Meszaros wasn't defensively responsible. With Redden leaving for the Rangers this summer, Meszaros was going to be anchoring the second defensive pair, which, to be blunt, would have been a nightmare.

But even in his departure Meszaros has managed to do us a favour. The Lightning had been going after him with an offer sheet, reportedly worth around $5-million a season. That in itself is ridiculous if you ask me - he made $984 200 last season, and was asking for $4- to $4.5-million from the Sens as a restricted free agent this summer, which Bryan Murray rightly thought ridiculous. The offer sheet couldn't go through because Tampa was on the hook for sending Ottawa a first, second and third round pick in the 2009 draft as compensation, only problem being they didn't have a third round pick to give away. (I'm also glad it couldn't go through, because this would certainly classify as another case of salary inflation as a result of an offer sheet.) Instead, the Sens got a much better deal by getting two live bodies, defencemen Filip Kuba and Alexandre Picard (a local guy from Gatineau) and a first round pick next year.

As anyone who would listen to me about hockey knows I've been saying the Sens should dump Meszaros for about a season now, and I'm quite glad it happened before he cost us any more money or games. Playing exposed by himself this year, without the cushion of Chara or Redden, he would have been a liability, and one that the Sens couldn't afford with the already weakened blueline and goaltending situation. So farewell, Andrej: enjoy the beach and your new six-year contract. Maybe the people in Tampa won't notice that you can't play defence as much as we did.

Stairs are dangerous

2008-08-29T12:35:00.003-04:00

At least, the Phillies must think so. In a deal that hasn't yet gone through as I'm writing, but probably will have by the time you're reading, Matt Stairs is expected to be dealt to the Phillies, who evidently need a left-handed bat for their presumed playoff run. This represents J.P. Ricciardi finally coming to the realization that his "five-year plan" is going to be extended by one more year (what is it now, eight?)

On a sentimental level, it's tough to see Stairs go. Sure, he played less than two seasons with the team, but he has no fewer than six things going for him, including:

He's Canadian
He's an adorable, balding old man
He's nearly interchangeable with Ernie Whitt (even more so, now that they'll both have been turfed by the Jays in '08)
On an old baseball card of his (left), he seems to be enamoured with an off-camera cheeseburger
He unexpectedly swatted 20+ homers for the Jays last year
Even as he's being shown the door, he's a complete class act

On a strictly pragmatic basis, though, this is good news. Stairs's production was way down this year, showing that perhaps his '07 season was his last year of great output. His contract runs through next season, so assuming his decline continued, the Jays would have been hamstrung for one more year.

Now, as it is, Stairs gets the chance to play for a contender and the Jays get a chance to take a look at their "next big thing", Travis Snider. Barring some highly unlikely set of circumstances (i.e. Snider suddenly being the next Ken Griffey Jr. or something), this will just be a first cup of coffee for the 20-year-old. But still, it gives Jays fans some actual reason to tune in for the rest of the season ("yeah, we know this season's gone to shit again, but look at what the future holds!")

Of course, the dream scenario is that Snider sets the world on fire in September, obligating management to give him a chance at spring training to earn a spot on next year's roster. He continues his blazing production, earning a spot in the outfield alongside Wells and Rios. This leaves Adam Lind to become a converted first baseman, making Lyle Overbay expendable. The Jays then ship Overbay and maybe a few bullpen arms somewhere for a big, bopping DH. Oh, and because this is a dream scenario, A.J. Burnett decides not to opt out and, for the rest of his tenure with the Jays, remains injury-free and racks up 19 wins with a sub-3.50 ERA per season.

Look at this ridiculous, misplaced optimism that's been created - again - by Matt Stairs. Fare thee well, Stairsy!

Upon further review... forget the peanuts, just get me some Cracker Jack

2008-08-27T11:24:00.003-04:00

It's a new day in Major League Baseball, the staunch proponent of good, olde-timey sports. The league has approved limited usage of instant replay for a few series that start tomorrow. Despite the opposition of the commissioner, the umpires, the players and sportswriters with bowler hats and chewed-up cigars dangling from their lips, the on-field officiating crew will now be able to consult video replays only on home run calls -- fair or foul, homer or not, fan interference or not.

Now, some say that this takes something away from the old-fashioned nature of the game. I say that if you want to get back to "true" baseball, get rid of the short-lived-novelty of interleague play, which seems to excite passions nowhere but in New York and Chicago. Others say it removes the "human element" of the sport. I say, if you've ever watched a Major League Baseball game, that's probably a good thing.

I have no empirical evidence to back this up, but I feel safe in saying that baseball umpires blow more calls than officials in any other sport. Period. The reason I can say this is that in most other sports, the officials have to make very subjective calls (was that really a foul? does that really deserve a penalty?) whereas in baseball, nearly all calls are coldly objective. The ball was either fair or foul. He was either safe or out. There's no room for judgment or bias -- it's simply one or the other. And yet, the number of calls that umpires get completely wrong is just staggering.

For instance, the next time there's a close, non-force play at a base, such as a runner trying to steal second, take a look at the fielder's glove, and see when it actually tags the runner. Chances are, if the ball gets to the bag well in advance of the runner, he'll be called out, even if by the time he was actually tagged, he had made it to the base. And even if the runner knows he was actually safe, he'll get up, dust himself off and walk back to the dugout without complaining. This is just one of the tacit "codes" in the game, it seems. The umps will make the wrong calls consistently, so don't worry if you're the victim right now, because your team will benefit eventually.

Introducing instant replay will suddenly make these lazy old umps feel like there's a fire under their ass. They'll realize "uh oh, someone's actually worried about whether we make the right call or not... does that mean we should start trying?"

This year, it seems like some of them have tried to prop up the illusion that they're "interested in getting the right call" by having little four-man conferences to discuss controversial plays. But sometimes, this results in the overturning of a previously correct call -- such as a Blue Jays game earlier this year in which an opposing batter pretended an errant pitch had hit him on the foot (when replays showed it clearly had not) and the home plate umpire refused to be fooled. But upon further review (by the four umps talking to each other, not by video replay) that call was inexplicably overturned and the batter was awarded first base. Of course, he subsequently scored and the Jays lost a close game. I can only imagine how much this situation would infuriate a fan of a team that was, say, one or two games out of a playoff spot.

Replay in baseball will have its foibles and its troubles at first, as it does in every sport. Its detractors will use this as evidence to suggest that the technology has no place in the game. The reality is that lazy, complacent officials are what truly have no place in the game, and if a "slow" game like baseball has any hopes of surviving as a mainstream sport in an increasingly-technology-saturated North American environment, the league has no choice but to embrace the usage of video replay in some form.

Alright, see you in four years...

2008-08-25T12:48:00.002-04:00

Some final thoughts on the just-finished Olympic Games in Beijing.

Nothing against silver medallist Karen Cockburn, but how is it that she ended up carrying the flag at the closing ceremonies, instead of one of our individual gold medallists, Carol Huynh or Eric Lamaze? The idealist in me says that the selection was made because this is the third Olympic Games in a row in which Cockburn has medalled; the cynic says it's because Lamaze is a former cokehead and Huynh isn't white.
Why was Jackie Chan singing as part of the closing ceremonies? Or, if it wasn't him, why did the camera keep focusing on a guy who looked mysteriously like Jackie Chan? Was it specifically to befuddle me?
It seems like the controversy surrounding the ages of some Chinese gymnasts has been sorted out, as Chinese government officials have produced documents "proving" the girls' ages, and the IOC seems satisfied... because, you know, if the Chinese government produces something, you can take that to the bank. I mean, murdering political dissidents at home and propping up bloodthirsty, murderous regimes in Africa are pretty bad... but faking a few birth certificates? That's unconscionable!
Speaking of Africa... what must the athletes representing some of the smaller, more poverty-stricken nations be thinking when they're at the opening and closing ceremonies? "Well, now I know why the western world doesn't have any cash for famine relief... these coordinated light and dance shows must be expensive!"
Canada's final medal haul of 18 (three gold, nine silver, six bronze) puts us in a tie for 14th overall... or 19th overall, if you follow the IOC's stupid system of ranking countries by total golds rather than overall totals. Based on that system, Michael Phelps finished in a tie for 9th... and we finished in a tie with Usain Bolt.
Now, that being said, based on our population and general indifference towards amateur sports during non-Olympic times, I'd say that's pretty good. That doesn't excuse our poor showing in the bevy of sports where non-amateurs compete, though. Come on, where was Daniel Nestor? I would think at this point in his career you could pair him with a pinata propped on a stick and get at least a few match victories.
We also tallied 11 four-place finishes, which is supposed to provide consolation by suggesting that we "could have" had 11 more medals if, y'know, those damned three other competitors hadn't gotten in our way. This sounds a lot like a girl who spends her four years of high school life getting ready for the prom, only to find out that her date, her backup date, and her gay-best-friend-backup date have all been stolen by Chinese girls with chalky hands. Gold, silver, bronze, ice-cream-and-tears.
Speaking of China, even though they ran away in the medal total (picking up six in table tennis -- who would have guessed?), you can't just write it off as "well, they've got over a billion people, of course they're going to win the most". Case in point: India. Three medals.
Why did none of the Canadian or American broadcasters see fit to show any European handball? And on that note, why isn't dodgeball in the Olympics?

Okay, those are all the cheap wisecracks I could think of for now. I'm not sure what I'll do from now on, without the soothing sound of Ian Hanomansing telling me about water polo at 3:00 a.m., but hey, only 18 months until Vancouver 2010. Huzzah!

My Redeem Team

2008-08-17T20:21:00.007-04:00

Forget the American men's basketball team, this Olympic year there was another group of men that I desperately wanted to win a Gold medal: the Canadian men's eight rowing team. At the 2004 Olympics in Athens, they suffered an arguably as big, if not bigger, defeat than the US basketball team, and unlike the NBA players who get to go back to another team for the years in between, these nine men have been working every day between then and now to earn themselves this Gold medal.

Throughout this Olympic regatta, I've been watching the Canadian crews rise to the occasion and put on some amazing performances in every event they've been in. From the heats to the repechages, the semis and finals, the Canadian rowers have stepped up and made the hardest sport in the world look easy. Five crews made finals on Saturday and Sunday, and only the women's eight missed out on the medal count when they came fourth in their race, just getting passed at the end by the Netherlands for the bronze. The men's pair (Frandsen and Calder) pulled to a Silver for Canada's first medal of the games, and both the men's lightweight four (Brambell, Beare, Parsons and Lewis) and women's double (Kok and Cameron) won hard-fought Bronze medals.

For me, however, the real story from this regatta is the eight giants and their little coxy who erased four years of disapointment and frustration in 5:23.89 on Sunday at Shunyi. This crew has been cleaning up in international regattas for the past two years, so once again expectations were ridiculously high coming in to the Olympic regatta; coupled with the pressure of avenging their fifth-place showing four years ago, this was likely as big a pressure cooker as these men have ever found themselves in. As everyone knows, however, things don't always go as planned in the world of sports. In a sport like rowing, where you depend on eight other people and a large set of equipment, the likelihood of something going wrong gets rather high when you think about it - someone could get sick or psyched out by the pressure; something goes wrong with an oar or the boat, like happened to the Australian men's eight crew when their fin (what keeps the boat going in a straight line) broke during the heats; bad water conditions; other crews having a better day.

But everything lined up for Canada, and kept lining up perfectly right down to the finish, where you could see the joy and relief of crossing that invisible line first. Watching the race felt like an eternity - as it does when you are actually pulling that 2000m yourself - but in reality it took them less time to win that race than it does to listen to 'Bohemian Rhapsody'. Not even five and a half minutes to make or break your dream. Feeling the pressure from your program, your friends and family, your country to 'redeem' yourselves from your performance four years ago. The relief and satisfaction of getting the job done and proving that the last four years of training has been worth it. Watching these guys win, and then be recognized and celebrated for their win, has undoubtably been the highlight of the Olympics for me so far.

Stop the presses! No Olympic shutout for us!

2008-08-16T17:08:00.002-04:00

It took until Day 8, but finally, Canada has broken through and scooped up a trifecta of medals, pushing us ahead of such Olympic juggernauts as Tajikistan and Togo. Based on the coverage of our week-long medal drought, you'd think that the country was literally going to fall apart at the seams if someone in red and white didn't claim a top-three finish soon. "Personal bests aren't good enough!" the media blowhards proclaimed. "Canadian bests aren't good enough! We need medals!"

Are you freakin' kidding me?

As much as these media pundits -- many of whom have never actually played competitive sports at any significant level in their lives -- may tell us that an Olympic performance is useless without a medal, anyone with half a brain in their heads knows that isn't the case. Take Dylan Armstrong, for instance. In the shot put event, he had the throw of his life, hurling that little chunk of, uh, whatever it is, a distance of 21.04 metres. A personal best, and a Canadian best. The farthest that anyone representing Canada has ever shotputted in a competition. He finished fourth. By one centimetre. The bronze medallist threw for 21.05 metres. So, literally, he was this close | | to winning a medal. Is he a failure?

He doesn't seem to think so, saying in the aftermath of the event "I think I did my country proud." But rather than celebrating this very surprising and encouraging performance, what did the sports media decide to focus on? The fact that, ooh, it was another "just missed" for Canada. Close, but no cigar. Another non-medal. Well, here's my question: if an athlete goes to the Olympics, the biggest stage of their sporting lives, and puts on the best performance they've ever mustered, what more can we possibly expect from them?

If our Canadian athletes give their best-ever performances when it matters the most, and they still fall short, does that mean that they're failures? Or, does it actually just reflect the fact that our country doesn't devote the same resources to Olympic success as powerhouses such as the U.S. and China? Because sure, we could pour hundreds of millions of dollars into training our amateur athletes, if we really, truly believe that winning those medals actually means anything substantive to the well-being of our nation and its citizens. Of course, to bankroll this athletic success, we'd need significant cuts in healthcare, education, infrastructure... you know, the sorts of things that actually do mean something substantive to the well-being of our nation and its citizens.

Thankfully, the "doom and gloom" reporting is probably over, now that Carol Huynh, Dave Calder, Scott Frandsen and Tonya Verbeek have stepped in to save the day. We will no longer have to hear that over a dozen Canadian records being set in the pool are meaningless because they didn't translate to hardware, or that Christine Girard's fourth place finish in weighlifting was a "disappointment", or that the women's soccer team's crushing extra-time loss to the #1 ranked Americans somehow let us down. We can instead be told that all is well, and that everything is right in the world, because a few of our athletes managed to snag medals.

But like it or not, the people of this country need to come to grips with an Olympic reality. We can't have it both ways. Either we can pour untold millions of dollars into creating a massive training infrastructure for amateur athletes, so that we can use their medal hauls as chest-thumping, jingoistic bluster. Or we can accept that Canada has a few sports they do very well in, hope for success in those, and celebrate the achievements of everyone else, so long as they go out and do their best.

But we cannot continue to underfund and ignore our amateur athletes, send them into international competition at an inherent disadvantage, and then berate and belittle them if they don't achieve a top-three finish. Canadian athletes should not feel the need to apologize to the country if they do their best -- and yet, some of them do.

Personally, I'd rather we send a contingent of earnest, devoted athletes who give it their all because of a love of their sport and their country, as opposed to a collection of cold, soulless competitors who've been trained from birth to believe that their only goal in life is a medal because their motherland demands it. But in our shortened attention-span world, people seemingly only have an interest in counting medals as a way of determining their national pride. Unless and until this line of thinking changes, our athletes will continue to be stuck in the middle.

NFL v.s. CFL: Report from the frontlines

2008-08-15T15:17:00.003-04:00

Let me interrupt the regularly-scheduled Olympic ramblings for a football-related update. Last night, as you likely know, the Buffalo Bills played the first of eight games they'll be playing in Toronto over the course of the next five seasons, a preseason tilt with the Steelers. If you've read any reports about the game, you may have read snippets about a small protest that took place by people opposed to the incursion of the NFL. I was in that group, from start to finish. Here's my take on what took place.

First off, there were about 30 of us once the march got going. Yes, a tiny "protest" by any reasonable standard, but the organization was done largely through Facebook and word-of-mouth a week before the game took place. We started out in front of the "Bud Tailgate Party" on Blue Jays Way, which is where we were taped by the CTV national news for a story being done by Roger Smith. (On a side note, Smith was getting extremely, and understandably, annoyed by the fact that most of the protesters showed up late, but the story he ended up doing was quite thorough and even-handed).

From there, we went south on Blue Jays Way with the intention of going up to the stadium. We made it up to the bridge near Gate 15 when we were intercepted by a group of Toronto police on bicycles. Despite the permit that some of the protest organizers had purchased, we were informed that the entire area surrounding the stadium was blocked off (either by Rogers or the NFL) and that we would have to leave. We improvised and went along Front, trying to get at the stadium in a few other ways. The whole time, one officer (initials R.T.) who was admittedly cordial and friendly, followed us and made sure we didn't encroach on the game's precious no-protest zone. At one point, one of his colleagues remarked, "we know you guys just want to do your thing, but if you go over there, you're going to start a riot, and we'll have to clean up the mess."

So, with the original plan foiled, it was a matter of making ourselves as visible and noticeable as possible on public streets. Now, the organizers of the protest, two guys by the name of Chris and Sterling, created and distributed "No Bills" t-shirts, which feature a Bills logo crossed out. Most members of our group were wearing these t-shirts, along with some Argos gear and Canadian flags. One problem is that although the shirts make sense if you understand the nuances of the message, at first glance, it looks as though we're just fans who hate the Bills franchise. (Case in point: Steelers fans who shouted "yeah! No Bills! Go Steelers!") Combine that with red maple leaves and chants of "keep the Bills in Buffalo!" and some of the confused responses we got are understandable. Hopefully this situation gets rectified somehow, because if a similar protest takes place at the next game (when, presumably, there will be a large contingent of Bills fans making the trek from Buffalo), the fans from Buffalo should be able to recognize that we're on their side.

Now, how did people react? Well, nearly everyone we passed by (in our podunk, classically-CFL non-glory) was either smiling or laughing as we passed. I'd like to think they were laughing with us, though I wouldn't be terribly shocked if we were actually being mocked. We did get a bunch of "yeah, go Argos!" shouts from passers-by (ironic or otherwise) and a few cars and trucks honking their horns in support (or because traffic was hopelessly gridlocked). We also, unsurprisingly, ran into some very vehement disagreement, the highlights of which are as follows:

1. A typical collar-popping nimrod near the tailgate party who accused us of being "separatists", in what might be one of the most illogical statements I've ever heard, football fan or not
2. A 30-something business-type guy who reacted with "are you f**king serious?" before lapsing into some nonsensical tirade about how he's an Argos season ticket holder, yet we're all dopes. The woman he was with pulled him away before he could engage us further, possibly because she feared for his safety (though likely not).
3. A man in his 50s or 60s, wearing a raggedy Bills jacket, who kept attempting to insult us by starting sentences with "Your shitty league..." but never actually got his train of thought out of the station. He literally yelled "Your shitty league!" about five times, and then walked away with his wife, who also hurled nonsense in our direction.

These are just some standouts; however, we obviously encountered a decent amount of subtle and not-so-subtle abuse from all sorts of folks who disagreed with our message, or just didn't understand it.

As for the game itself... well, who knows. I didn't watch it. But I can tell you what it absolutely was not: a sellout. Not anywhere near. In roaming the area surrounding the Dome, we ran across a ridiculous amount of people attempting to sell tickets. Not just your regular scalpers, but everyday folks, bearing signs saying "NFL tickets, half price" with no takers. One scalper we talked to had a handful of $300 seats that he couldn't unload for $20. Another guy, in town from Pittsburgh, actually had a couple of freebie tickets that he wasn't even going to use (and tried to sell to me for ten bucks). Did Rogers horribly misjudge the market in setting prices? Or is Toronto really not as hungry for the NFL as the suits would have you believe?

All in all, I'd say our little march was a success (insofar as it wasn't a complete failure). We all got some exercise, and some independent filmmaker interviewed me for about 15 minutes. I never did get his name, or find out how or when I could view his finished product. I believe it was about black athletes in North America and the CFL? I talked to him about Warren Moon? I'm more or less just throwing keywords out here in the hopes he might find his through a Google search or something. If not, maybe we can just meet up at the next protest in December, when the Dolphins come to town.

Let the Games begin

2008-08-08T14:32:00.003-04:00

The Games of the 29th Olympiad started off with a bang today in Beijing with the amazing spectacle of the Opening Ceremony. There were tons of fireworks, lots of music, dancing, drumming and other performances and even a mini history lesson featuring China's four greatest inventions - typeset printing, gunpowder, paper making and the compass. One of the biggest pieces of the show was the stadium itself, officially known as National Stadium, it's already acquired the nickname 'the Bird's Nest' because of the straw-like look of the outside framing of the oval stadium.

Even though the Soccer competition started two days ago - with Canada's women beating Argentina 2-1 on Wednesday - the rest of the action gets underway tonight (tomorrow in China... mmm, 12-hour time difference) with, amongst other things, Gymnastics, Basketball, Volleyball and Beach Volleyball, Sailing, Boxing, Swimming, more Soccer and Rowing!

A series of open letters to various people in the sporting world: Part 2

2008-07-28T15:58:00.003-04:00

An open letter to Blue Jays colour commentator Rance Mulliniks:

Dear Mr. Mulliniks,

Okay, we get it. You have an awful lot to say about every single pitch. About how the hitter needs a game plan. About how the pitcher should be throwing a "get me over" off-speed strike to open up the at-bat against a fastball hitter. About exactly what should be happening on every pitch (which, at least 75% of the time, isn't actually what does happen.) We know you could talk for days about every single pitch before it's thrown. But as I'm sure you learned at some point, just because you can do something, that doesn't necessarily mean that you should do it.

For instance, you could try to lighten up and not take yourself (and everything else) so seriously. You could try to actually engage usual broadcast partner Jamie Campbell in some game-related banter, rather than responding to his attempts at conversation with awkward silence and some unrelated statistical tidbit. You could stop angrily remonstrating players who don't throw the pitch / take the batting approach you've prescribed, as if their on-field approach represents a personal attack against you and your awe-inspiring .272 career batting average.

Hell, you could even show some dignity and not publicly whore yourself out to the powers-that-be at Rogers by making ridiculous pre-season predictions about the Jays' chances.

I mean, just because you could do all those things, it doesn't necessarily mean you should.

But, well, anyone who's ever listened to your on-air performance would probably recommend it.

Sincerely,
D

An open letter to the various producers and editors of major Canadian sports media:

To whom it may concern,

Please do not report anything more about Brett Favre until a definitive decision about his status for the upcoming NFL season is made. For your information, the following events are acceptable examples of a definitive decision:
- Brett Favre or his agent issuing a public and unambiguous statement detailing what will be happening this season
- A coach, general manager or other appropriate official of a team issuing a public and unambiguous statement detailing what Brett Favre will be doing this season

While you're at it, please apply the same criteria to your ongoing coverage of Mats Sundin.

If removing stories about Brett Favre and Mats Sundin will severely hamper your ability to fill your airtime / column space requirements, try and see if there are any upcoming international sporting events about which you might be able to provide some news or analysis.

Sincerely,
D

An open letter to Toronto FC midfielder Amado Guevara:

Dear Mr. Guevara,

It's always great to see the end of taut, back-and-forth soccer matches suddenly interrupted by seemingly unprovoked and inexplicable acts of violence that result in red cards. Just look at how Zinedine Zidane ended his career. His childish inability to control his anger sure meant big things for France -- they made it all the way to the World Cup final, and didn't lose until a penalty shootout! Similarly, the one-game suspension you earned on Sunday means that your struggling and undermanned team might need to take a shot a few of its Canadian reserves, like Kevin Harmse or Tyler Rosenlund. Thanks for your support of Canadian development!

If you really want to help Canadian development, please bring your can-do attitude to Montreal on September 6, when your Honduran national team faces the Canadians in a World Cup qualifier. But rather than making us all wait for the glory that is senseless aggression, why not set the tone early? Say, by spitting in Atiba Hutchinson's direction in the fifth minute? Your early expulsion will send a message to your teammates that you're the kind of leader who doesn't let the team's fortunes dictate his actions. And if the last eight years of world politics have taught us anything, it's that unilateral leadership is what it takes to get the job done!

Looking forward to your next exciting example of self-interested hotheadedness!

Sincerely,
D

Canada's flag bearer for Beijing is...

2008-07-23T15:47:00.003-04:00

Adam Van Koeverden!

The Canadian Olympic Committe announced the honour for the kayaker today, as well as naming the full Olympic team heading to Beijing in August. Van Koeverden was the flag bearer for the closing ceremonies in Athens four years ago, and one of the popular choices to lead the team in the opening ceremonies this time around.

Some athletes see being the flag bearer as a burden, because of the length of the opening ceremony, and some people even think there is a bit of a jinx associated with it (although that seems to have been disproven in the past few years). For his part, Van Koeverden sounds like he's excited about the opportunity to lead the team for the Opening Ceremonies. Good luck and go Canada go!

A series of open letters to various people in the sporting world: Part 1

2008-07-15T11:19:00.004-04:00

An open letter to Brett Favre:

Dear Mr. Favre,

I understand that over the past 17 years, most of your downtime has probably been spent practicing, working out and doing whatever else was necessary to prepare you physically and mentally for the rigours of being an NFL quarterback. So you probably haven't had much time to kick back and watch television. If you had, you might be familiar with a program called My Name is Earl. Heard of it? Highly rated, pretty popular, quite funny. It's got Jason Lee. He was in those Kevin Smith movies, remember? Well, no, you probably don't.

Anyway, this television program is all about karma. The protagonist, Earl, realizes the effect that his previous deeds have had on others and spends much of his time attempting to rectify those situations. The term "karma" comes from the traditions of Indian religions, whereby within the cycle of samsara... wait. You're from Mississippi, right? Alright, forget all this eastern hokum.

Let's just stick to the Bible, shall we? The good old Golden Rule. Ethic of reciprocity. Matthew 7:12. Do unto others, yada yada. You know the drill.

I guess what I'm getting at, Mr. Favre, is that a person can only screw around with other people -- and have them grin and bear it -- for so long. A team's franchise player can only call so many off-season press conferences and dither on his playing future until it wears thin. Eventually, when that person has teased and tormented and played around with the heads of others enough times, those people are going to pay him back in kind.

The Green Bay Packers aren't being angry, or unwelcoming, Mr. Favre. In fact, their reaction to your latest retirement rope-a-dope isn't even really in their hands. It's just karma.

Sincerely,
D

An open letter to Cliff Fletcher

Dear Mr. Fletcher,

I won't bore you with a dictionary definition of the word "rebuild". Suffice to say, a critical aspect of rebuilding is the acquisition of new parts. As in, brand new parts, not just parts that are new to the item being rebuilt. I mean, if you were rebuilding a car, and it needed a new muffler, would you give it a freshly-manufactured muffler, or just rip a decrepit, borderline-useless muffler off of another broken-down car?

So I'm wondering where a guy like Ryan Hollweg falls into the Leafs' scheme of "rebuilding". To my knowledge, this guy is memorable for exactly two reasons: having a silly-looking mustache, and being high-sticked in the face by Chris Simon. With Simon playing off in Russia, I doubt that Hollweg's ability to draw high-sticking penalties from him will prove useful this season. And while the "new" NHL has put an emphasis on many things (speed, finesse, youth, puck-handling) I seemed to have missed the memo where audacious facial hair was an integral part of success.

Sure, you could argue that the price paid for him is minimal -- a fifth-round draft pick. I mean, there couldn't possibly be any useful players still sitting around, waiting to be drafted by the fifth round, right? One could mention that reigning Conn Smythe trophy winner Henrik Zetterberg was drafted in the seventh round in 1999, but you're right, that's not the fifth. The fifth round is the useless round! How astute! You knew that no player who could be useful to a rebuilding team could ever come out of the fifth round. (Unless you consider Ryan Miller or Miikka Kiprusoff to be useful -- which I suppose you don't, and you work for the Leafs, which means you must be right... ergo, those guys must be useless.)

Anyway, clearly I'm just confused about what "rebuilding" in the "new" NHL means. I was ignorant enough to think that it meant stockpiling as many draft picks as possible, and developing prospects that were fast and skillful puckmovers. Evidently, what it really meant was throwing away a draft pick in order to acquire a guy whose career goal-to-penalty-minute ratio is 1:62. I mean, I had my silly ideas about "rebuilding" meant but then, you work for the Leafs, and only the brightest hockey minds are good enough to work for Richard Peddie, so you must know what you're doing! (Unless you consider Scotty Bowman a bright hockey mind -- which is impossible, because he doesn't work for the Leafs.)

Grinding. Useful in rebuilding cars and hockey teams! That's forward thinking!

Sincerely,
D

Mid-week babblings

2008-07-09T11:35:00.005-04:00

Damn, it was good to see all the things that usually go wrong for the Blue Jays actually go right for a change last night. Alex Rios, rather than striking out in a clutch situation, hit a base-clearing triple... the pitching, rather than coughing the lead back up after a big comeback inning, held the fort... and rather than get our hopes up and lose in extra innings, the team actually scored a walk-off win. Sure, it was a cheap walk-off facilitated by a Buckneresque cock-up at short, and yeah, Dustin McGowan apparently has a "sore" shoulder (which could mean anything in J.P.-land) but hey, a win's a win (even if it's a meaningless one) and at this point, we'll take what we can get with this team.
It's been a rough month for Thierry Henry -- first the French get unceremoniously turfed from Euro 2008, and now he's lost his spot as part of the "big-time athlete triumvirate" in the Gillette commercials. Alongside Roger Federer and Tiger Woods, you'll now see Derek Jeter. Though I suppose, if there's one guy who could replace anyone for anything and make them say "yeah, y'know what, he's probably better at it", it's most likely Derek Jeter. Bonus: in the newest ad, he insinuates golf isn't a real sport.
I've been spending an unhealthy amount of time in the past few days on the message board of The Voyageurs, the official supporters group of the Canadian national soccer teams... which I suggest you also do, if you're interested in the men's team's progress towards South Africa 2010. Next big test: at home against Jamaica on August 20. If the bluster and posturing on the Canadian and Jamaican message boards is any indication, there'll be an all-out massacre in the stands. Somehow I don't see it actually happening.
So the rumblings out of the Brett Favre camp suggest hey, maybe he will be back next year. Wow, shocking! I am absolutely shocked! In other, equally shocking news: the sun is expected to rise tomorrow morning, and the Leafs are not expected to contend for the Stanley Cup this season.
In news that I'm sure will delight my fellow Sportrambler, former Sens goalie Ray Emery (you know, the guy who took them to the Stanley Cup finals two years ago) has been passed over by every NHL team and will ply his trade in Russia next season. Now, as much as this makes me chuckle (predominantly because he played for Ottawa), the news is a little troubling. Not quite as troubling as Jaromir Jagr's decision to ship off to Siberia, but every player that defects is one more indication that the NHL may just have a serious challenger on its hands with the Continental Hockey League. If this league is the new WHA, considering the turmoil going on within the NHL right now, what will happen if and when the modern-day Bobby Hull crosses the pond?
Michael Vick is apparently bankrupt. In equally sad news, Saddam Hussein is dead.
Was the Federer/Nadal Wimbledon final over the weekend actually "the best tennis match in history", as it was proclaimed by many media outlets afterwards? Well, that's obviously subjective. But for all of the storylines surrounding it, and the predictably top-notch quality of play, it was at the very least, astoundingly compelling.
It seems that Chris Bosh's brother Joel will be part of the Raptors' summer league team. Though I'm not sure how the system works in the NBA, or how close the younger Bosh actually is to cracking the squad, it would be unfortunate if the Raps had the fraternal tandem out on the court, meaning twice as many opportunites to shout "oh my Bosh!" without anyone there to shout it. Come back, Chuck!

Wimbledon Finals

2008-07-07T14:17:00.007-04:00

After a crazy tournament with some very unexpected results, there were some familiar faces in both the men's and women's finals this weekend.

On Saturday in the ladies match, Venus and Serena Williams faced each other in a Grand Slam final for the first time in about five years. Serena came out guns blazing in the first set and looked like she was going to walk all over her big sister, but Venus held the fort and took the first set 7-5. In the second set, both girls played some fabulous tennis and proved that even with all the other top seeds having been knocked out by lesser players, they both certainly deserved to be in the final match. Serena looked like she was going to take the lead again after winning a crazy third game, with what felt like about 10 deuce points, to break Venus and take a 2-1 lead, but Venus fought back after slipping and falling on the baseline dirt to keep it close. She managed to stay ahead 5-4 and then finally broke Serena for the 6-4 second set win. Even though these two used to face eachother almost every finals a few years back, they were both still clearly uncomfortable with the fact that they were facing eachother. Venus certainly toned down her victory celebration, and Serena just looked annoyed during all the post-match ceremonies.

In what I'm sure was a small bit of a consolation for Serena, a few hours later they were back on court together to play the doubles final against Samantha Stosur and Lisa Raymond. Even though they must have been exhausted after all the tennis they'd been playing, Serena and Venus made fairly easy work of Stosur and Raymond beating them 6-2, 6-2 to win the doubles title as well.

On Sunday, it was time for the men, and Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal certainly lived up to all the hype that was surrounding their match. Roger was going for his sixth straight Wimbledon title, and Rafa was trying to show the rest of the tennis world that it was no fluke that he beat Roger at the French Open finals. The match got off to an ominous start when Rafa managed to get a break in each set and win both the first and second sets 6-4. Even though it wasn't quite the massacre that had happened last month, it was still a little scary to see him pretty much dominating Federer. Roger got it turned around in the third after having to sit through a rain delay, but still had to win the set with a tiebreaker 7-6 (5). The fourth set was even tighter, and Roger really had to work hard to get it to a tiebreak as well, but he came out on top 7-6 (8). The great Federer managed to hold Nadal off for two sets, but the fifth set was absolutely epic. Obviously neither man wanted to lose, and it took until the 15th game for a break of serve. Surprisingly, it was Nadal who got the break and then had to hold on for the win, because at Grand Slam finals there's no fifth set tiebreak. When he won the final point, Nadal looked like he couldn't believe what had just happened, and honestly neither could I. Obviously going for six straight titles anywhere and in any sport is quite a dificult feat, but I was really pulling for Roger to get it done. After the match Nadal looked, deservedly, totally overcome and overjoyed about what he'd just done, and Federer... well he just looked sad, depressed and pissed off. You would have to think that this was pretty much his one and only shot at something like six straight Wimbledon titles, and I'm sure he'll be out for revenge the next time they play eachother.

One other cool thing from this year's Wimbledon was in the men's doubles, where Canada's own Daniel Nestor completed a Golden Slam - winning the Australian, US, French and Wimbledon in addition to an Olympic gold medal, which he won in doubles at the 2000 Olympics in Sydney with Sebastien Lareau.

Hey Gerry, you wanna go fa' cof?

2008-07-01T13:17:00.002-04:00

If you spend idle hours watching the sports highlights loop on The Score like I do, then you've probably seen one of their newer segments, called "Gerry Dee: Sports Reporter". Dee is a Canadian standup comedian who once appeared on Last Comic Standing, and whose most well-known bit is summarized with the line "Hey Jackie, you wanna go fa' cof?"

Now, Gerry Dee is undoubtedly a funny guy. But his segment on The Score just doesn't work. As you could probably guess, it involves Dee approaching various athletes for interviews, but -- here's the twist! -- since Dee isn't actually a sports reporter, he usually has no clue who he's talking to or what he's talking about, and spends the time attempting to crack jokes. There are a few problems with this.

First of all, The Score already has a very good "comedy" reporter -- Cabral "Cabbie" Richards. In addition to being hilarious (and evoking hilarious responses from interview subjects like Chris Bosh and Kobe Bryant) and appearing comfortable on camera, Cabbie obviously knows what he's talking about when it comes to sports.

Dee, on the other hand, seems stilted and awkward. Yeah, this is probably his schtick. But with Cabbie on the same network, Dee seems both unfunny and redundant.

Not only this, but the entire premise of the segment seems to be "it doesn't take any actual training to be a sports reporter -- look, even this comic can do it!" Kind of an odd message for a network that employs legitimate sports journalists to be sending to its audiences and potential future employees.

I mean, sure, sports reporters get to have a little more fun, be a little more personal, and editorialize a bit more than journalists in other fields. But that doesn't mean you can just pluck someone off the street and stick them in that role -- even if they happen to be pretty good stand-up comedians. It still does take talent, knowledge and training to be a good journalist.

That being said, if Rick Mercer replaces Peter Mansbridge on the anchor desk at The National someday, we'll know who to blame.

Spain wins Euro 2008

2008-06-30T14:58:00.004-04:00

After some crazy quarterfinals and intense semis, Spain defeated Germany 1-0 to win the 2008 Euro tournament. This is the first major tournament win for Spain in 44 years, and proved that they deserved the 'favourites' label they were tagged with before the tournament.

This pains me to admit, but these guys are good. They have arguably one of the best goalkeepers in the world in Iker Casillas, who, let's face it, got them into the finals by single-handedly beating Italy, and some increadibly talented scorers like Fernando Torres, David Villa (who didn't even get to play in the championship game because of an injury), David Silva and Xavi Hernandez. They play such a fast and fluid style of football that you can't help but be amazed at some of the passes and plays they can pull off.

Villa won the scoring title with four goals, although he only needed to score in two games to get that total, and Xavi Hernandez was voted as the top player of the tournament. Spain also had good representation on the all-tournament team that was named after the final.

Wimbledon - First Week madness

2008-06-27T15:27:00.005-04:00

Third tennis major of the year, beginning of the summer season... it's Wimbledon time! The 2008 edition of the tournament has gotten off to a rather strange start in the first week...

First rain delay only came on Friday - at this point last year there had been around a dozen
On the first day of play, the Men's #7 seed, David Nalbandian was taken out by Canadian Frank Dancevic, who is currently ranked 95th in the world
Maria Sharapova and her tuxedo outfit crashed out 6-2, 6-4, losing to another Russian girl Alla Kudryavtseva in the second round
#10 Daniela Hantuchova lost to another of the Russians, 6-3, 4-6, 6-1.
The new world number one women's player, and French Open champ, Ana Ivanovic, lost surprisingly quickly to Zheng Jie 6-1, 6-4.
Men's #4 Nikolay Davydenko lost in the first round to Benjamin Becker 6-4, 6-4, 6-4
The top American men, Andy Roddick and James Blake, both lost their second round matchups
Marat Safin laid a beating on #3 Novak Djokovic in the second round
#25 Lindsay Davenport, who is still trying to get back into top form after taking a year off to have a baby, was forced to retire because of a leg injury

With all that, going in to the second week of play only four of the top 10 men's seeded players are still in - Federer, Nadal, Baghdatis and Gasquet- and six of the top 10 women - Jankovic, Kuznetsova, Dementieva, Serena and Venus Williams, and Chakvetadze - are still in play. Sunday is the traditional day off, so they're back at it on Monday.

DTMFA, Paul Godfrey

2008-06-22T12:45:00.008-04:00

I have managed to keep the Blue Jays grumblings - alright, hissyfits - to a minimum recently. I seem to have the same complaints over and over again, and know that it can't be good for my blood pressure to be enraged on a daily basis... well, about baseball anyways. But I can't take it any more. The recent antics by JP - waiting until now to finally fire Gibbons, hiring a bullshit staff to appease the fans and simply buy himself more time, shit-talking another player because he can't shit-talk his own - and less than stellar play on the field have angered me enough to come to this conclusion. Paul Godfrey, as the CEO and only person in the organization above JP Ricciardi, you need to DTMFA: Dump The Motherfucker Already.

For those who don't know, the phrase "DTMFA" was coined by Dan Savage, the sex and relationships advice columnist that most of us flip to first (come on, you know it's true) in free weeklies like The Coast, XPress or NOW. He advises people in dysfunctional, fucked up or just plain bad relationships to spare yourself the pain and "dump the motherfucker already." Now I don't know about the rest of you Blue Jays fans, but I think our seven-year (yikes!) relationship with JP could be classified in at least one, if not all three, of those categories.

He lies to us, and has on many occasions - about the extent of BJ Ryan's injury last season is the first one to come to mind. He promises things he is obviously incapable of delivering - by my calendar the "Five Year Plan" expired about two years ago. He jerks people around - Adam Lind, a talented left-fielder, has been up and down from the minors for three seasons now. He lashes out at other people when he can't figure out his own problems - see last week's tirade about Cincinnati's Adam Dunn. He is no where near open and honest - something about "they're not lies if we know the truth"...?

In pretty much any other relationship, the offending party would've been told where to shove it by now, right? Well then why doesn't Godfrey take a break from being a doormat and tell JP where to shove it?! The Jays are making a mockery of the ridiculous budget they've been given and are pretty much back where they were last year, if not further back. Yes, they've had some on-field setbacks recently - Marcum going on the DL, Burnett imploding, Reed Johnson showing the entire city what we're missing, Rios going MIA at the plate, Eckstein taking out Hill - but there's obviously more wrong here than just the managers and field coaches not being able to cobble together a winning lineup from the assembled talent. Bringing back Cito Gaston will only keep people appeased until the next series loss, and after that the entire team will have a lot more to answer to.

Face it Pauly, the relationship with JP obvisouly isn't working. You've been trying for seven long years, but let's face it - if it hasn't worked by now, chances are it won't. Since there's no couples counseling for CEOs and GMs and their fans, I humbly suggest that you DTMFA.

Sweet, it's 1993 all over again!

2008-06-20T14:21:00.002-04:00

As if the presence of Cliff Fletcher as the Leafs' "interim" GM wasn't enough cause for Toronto sports fans to check their calendars, today's news that Cito Gaston is, more than 10 years later, once again the manager of the Blue Jays is really throwing the time-space continuum for a loop. If Pinball Clemons throws the shoulder pads back on and starts evading tackles again, then to hell with it, I'm moving back home and spending my days playing road hockey and Super Nintendo all day.

The difference between now and then is 15 years of accumulated cynicism on my part. So here are the two glaringly obvious cynical ways to look at Gaston's hiring.

Considering that the man hasn't managed in the major leagues (or, to my knowledge, anywhere) in over 10 years -- and the fact that the Jays' ship is sinking fast -- this is a cheap PR stunt meant to convince people to actually continue following this franchise. I mean, what better way to bring people out to the ballpark than to give them a constant warm, fuzzy reminder of the glory days?
The timing is pretty conspicuous, given this week's lunacy surrounding J.P. Ricciardi and Adam Dunn -- once again demonstrating J.P.'s lack of professionalism and the level of contempt surrounding J.P. in this city. What better way to deflect attention from the latest calls of "Fire J.P.!" than to bring in a high-profile and uber-popular manager?

Now, along with the firing of John Gibbons is the welcome firing of the seemingly useless hitting coach Gary Denbo, the unexpected but presumably necessary firing of the beloved Ernie Whitt, and the generally ambiguous firing of Marty Pevey. All to be replaced by... oh yeah, other guys who haven't really been doing much of anything for 10 years' time. All meant to appease Cito, no doubt, but it does speak to the fact that this hiring is more of an exercise in publicity than an earnest attempt to turn around the fortunes of the team.

Much like the Leafs, the Jays organization is seemingly directionless. Sure, John Gibbons has his faults (poor bullpen management, under-usage of bunting, unwillingness to send runners, etc.) but there's only so much you can do with the players you're given. And while Cito definitely still has plenty of goodwill built up in Toronto, if he can't get the necessary performance out of the players the team has now, chances are, that goodwill could chip away pretty quickly.

So while Cito is in no way a panacea -- but will draw a nice pop upon his return to the Dome, presumably -- the best news here is that it might mean Ricciardi will be following his buddy Gibbons on a one-way train out of town.

Bits and bites

2008-06-15T18:51:00.003-04:00

I can't say that I've listened to very much live radio from tiny Caribbean nations, but if my experience today was any indication of what to expect, maybe I should start. The occasion was Canada's first World Cup qualifying match in St. Vincent and the Grenadines, an island nation of 120,000 people, a little bit west of Barbados.

The game, despite being an official qualifying match for the biggest sporting tournament in the world, was played in a stadium without the ability to host television cameras, apparently. So all we had to go by was a crackly Internet feed of local St. V&G radio commentators who, clearly, had no experience whatsoever in sports commentary, lapsing into nonsensical tangents (such as aimless musing on the number of black players on the Canadian team) and usually calling players on both teams by number rather than name (though, to be fair, "Issey Nakajima-Farran" is a bit of a doozy).

Not to mention the 10-minute ad breaks in the middle of the game, which would have been infuriating if they weren't so damn entertaining (every single one, whether for a hardware store, supermarket, cell phone company or bottle return service, featured needless thumping soca rhythms in the background).

Canada won, as expected, by a score of 3-0 and will play the home leg in Montreal on Friday. I don't think it's actually going to be carried live because hey, we need to watch the Blue Jays find another mind-bogglingly frustrating way to lose a game as it happens!

On the topic of the beautiful game, today's Czech Republic / Turkey match had one of the most astonishing finishes you'll see -- which would have been even more astonishing if the Czechs had managed to find a tying goal and force the Turks to go into a penalty shootout without an actual goalie.

Alright, one more soccer note: soccer-haters who love to dump on the sport for its supposed preponderance of diving and embellishment really should be watching the European championship. Perhaps then they'd realize that the insulting play-acting that can easily drag a game down to the level of sheer farce is -- without being insensitive or over-generalizing -- really a South American thing. Even the Italians, loathed far and wide for their alleged usage of simulation tactics, stay on their feet in the European championships (a very important tournament where players are no doubt trying to win free kicks and penalties) a hell of a lot better than, well, probably any South American team playing in any competition.

It's a cultural thing. It's that simple. Deceiving the ref is considered not only acceptable, but admirable and noble in South American soccer culture -- at least, that's my perception. So, people who shy away from the Euro because they fear the flip-flopping silliness are just depriving themselves of some really wonderful play. Oh well, their loss.

It was quite surprising to see the reaction that Reed Johnson got on his return to Toronto on Friday. Not to say I didn't expect some cheering, but the reaction he got was comparable to the one received by Carlos Delgado in his first game after leaving the team (I was in attendance at both games), which is kind of weird, considering that Johnson's contributions to the Jays are not in the same stratosphere as Delgado's, and both players left the team on relatively good terms (that is to say, they didn't burn bridges with fans or management).

As several commenters mentioned on Mike Wilner's blog, the strong positive response given to Johnson may have less to do with him personally than it does with sending a message directly to much-reviled GM J.P. Ricciardi for his perceived incompetence and the general frustrating nature of the team's performance. And you know what... come to think of it, I think that's probably what my fervent hooting and hollering represented more than anything. (I cannot speak for my fellow Sportrambler, who I trust has her own reasons for supporting Reed).

Are the NBA Finals over yet?

B.C. senator Larry Campbell has tabled a bill that would seek to prevent anyone from bringing an NFL team into Canada. The move is obviously aimed at taking a stand against the consortium of rich assholes hoping to wrench the Bills from Ralph Wilson's (eventually) cold dead hands and plunk them into the T-Dot (presumably in a shiny new, taxpayer-funded stadium). The move is (also) obviously a symbolic gesture which will go nowhere, since the Senate is a joke, and such a law probably wouldn't be allowed under NAFTA anyway.

But it has helped re-ignite (or perhaps, fuel the slowly burning) debate about the future of the NFL and this country. Is the aforementioned consortium of rich assholes planning to relocate the Bills to Toronto? Is some measure of protectionism (government-mandated or otherwise) necessary to ensure the continued health of the CFL? And is the CFL even worth attempting to protect or save?

The answers, for the record? Yes, yes and yes.

Senators hire Hartsburg

2008-06-15T15:28:00.002-04:00

Bryan Murry capped off a week full of speculation, albeit from the Ottawa Sun, about the new Sens head coach when he announced that Craig Hartsburg will take the job. He was one of the early names being tossed around as a candidate, but other guys had been getting more press in the past few days. Names like Bob Hartley (um, no thanks), Ron Wilson (snapped up by the boys in blue down the highway), Peter DeBoer (gets to cut his teeth with the Panthers), Joel Quenneville and Paul Maurice had been floating around, but it seemed like Hartsburg and DeBoer were the favourites.

Hartsburg was most recently the head coach with the Sault Ste. Marie Greyhounds in the OHL and the head coach of the national Junior team for the past two gold medal-winning trips to the World Juniors. Before that he coached in the NHL as an assistant with the Minnesota North Stars and Philadelphia Flyers and was the head coach in Chicago from 1995-1998 and with Anaheim from 1998-2000.

His reputation appears to be as one of those 'tough but fair' guys who is a talented coach, but can also keep guys on track. Hartsburg will have to work with Murray now and figure out what kind of coaching staff he'll have this year, but who knows what kind of a team he'll even have on the ice. He will also have to learn how to handle the Ottawa media - not quite as much of a pressure cooker as Montreal or Toronto, but the Sens are the only game in town, so there's nothing else for the pack of dogs to focus on when things inevitably start to go downhill in the dead of winter. Good luck Craig, something tells me you'll need it.

NHL Awards night

2008-06-13T16:09:00.004-04:00

The NHL handed out the hardware last night at the annual awards night in Toronto. Alex Ovechkin, predictibly, cleaned up on the big awards, and there weren't too many surprises. Quick re-cap of the winners...

Hart Trophy - Player most valuable to his team: Alexander Ovechkin, Washington

Lester B Pearson Award - Most Outstanding Player, as voted by the players: Alexander Ovechkin, Washington

Selke Trophy - Top Defensive Forward: Pavel Datsyuk, Detroit

Calder Trophy - Top Rookie: Patrick Kane, Chicago

Adams Trophy - Top Coach: Bruce Boudreau, Washington

Bill Masterton Trophy - Dedication, Perserverance and Sportsmanship: Jason Blake, Toronto

Lady Byng Trophy -Most Gentlemanly Player: Pavel Datsyuk, Detroit

Norris Trophy - Top Defenseman: Nicklas Lidstrom, Detroit

Vezina Trophy - Top Goaltender: Martin Brodeur New Jersey

Rocket Richard Trophy - Top Goal Scorer: Alexander Ovechkin, Washington (65 goals)

Art Ross Trophy - Top Point-getter: Alexander Ovechkin, Washington (112 points)

King Clancy Trophy - Leadership and Community involvement: Vincent Lecavalier, Tampa Bay

Captain Canuck hangs 'em up

2008-06-11T14:11:00.005-04:00

After 19 seasons in the NHL and 20 years to the day since he was drafted, Trevor Linden offically announced that he is retiring from the league. Although the past few years he hasn't been the player he used to be, Linden will be remembered as one of the greatest Vancouver Canucks of all time.

I first fell in love with Trevor Linden in 1994 when he was captaining Vancouver all the way to the Cup Finals against the New York Rangers. He played his heart out for his team, but they just came up short against Messier and his boys. But Linden's hard work and dedication to his team won him a ton of fans across the country, not just in BC. He is also loved and revered for everything else he does, besides being an NHL player. He was the president of the NHLPA, has played for Team Canada, does loads of charity work and is actually an intelligent human being who just happens to be good at hockey.

I think it's fantastic that he got the chance to finish his career where it started with the Canucks, even though there were a few pit stops along the way with the Islanders, Canadiens and Capitals. Linden is one of those special players who will always be associated with a franchise no matter where else he played or what else he did.

In his final game with the Canucks on April 5, Linden got lengthy ovations from the crowd at the start of the third and at the end of the game, and got handshakes from everyone on the Flames, starting with Jarome Iginla. For me, the game was particularly special to watch because I was in BC at the time and it felt very cool to be a little closer to the event, although at that point I was in Whistler, not Vancouver. We'll miss you Trevor, and I know there will never be another Canuck like you.

Your tax dollars hard at work

2008-06-09T21:56:00.003-04:00

As you've likely heard by now, the melody that many Canadians associate with hockey -- and probably with their own mangled sense of Canadian identity -- more than any other, will never, ever be heard on the CBC again. The Hockey Night in Canada theme song -- or, as it's technically known, "The Hockey Theme" -- will now be heard exclusively on CTV and its affiliates. The media conglomerate has bought the rights to the song in perpetuity and intends to use it during TSN hockey broadcasts and during hockey coverage at the 2010 Olympic Games.

There's no way to say this without sounding melodramatic, or misguidedly nostalgic, or unduly nationalistic but... this is just plain wrong.

You can't blame CTV for snapping up the rights to the song after negotiations broke down between CBC and the previous rights holder. They have all the money in the world and if this can help them make a few more dollars by persuading people to tune in, then they'd just be bad businesspeople if they didn't do it.

You certainly can blame the CBC. It is absolutely mind-boggling that they could not find the money to preserve a song that has become synonymous with their most important and relevant televised offering, HNIC, at the same time that they're inexplicably spending money to bring Wheel of Fortune and Jeopardy to their network this fall. Despite Alex Trebek's birthplace being north of the border, I hardly see how either of those shows does anything to promote Canadian culture... and if I recall correctly, isn't it part of the CBC's mandate to help promote Canadian culture?

Trading one of the most well-known and (for better or worse) patriotism-stirring tunes in the country for a pair of tired American game shows is like... well, trading Wayne Gretzky for two bags of pucks.

Despite all of CTV's boasting about how it's a wonderful thing that the HNIC Theme has been "saved", really, it's not. People have always associated the song with Hockey Night in Canada -- Saturday night, big game, Don Cherry's audacious suits. How will it sound to hear it at the beginning of some meaningless mid-week tilt between the Predators and the Blackhawks?

Really weird, that's how.

Without playing too much into the unrealistic myth of what constitutes Canadian culture, the HNIC Theme really was one of those few little things that people from across the country could connect with and feel like they owned... probably because, by virtue of being a Canadian taxpayer, they did, in some tiny, indirect way.

But now, the little song has gone the way of seemingly every other thing in sports that could have been considered genuine or pure... taken out of the hands of the fans and placed into those of rich men in boardrooms. And that is just a shame.

Kubica wins Canadian GP

2008-06-09T00:11:00.005-04:00

The biggest date on the Canadian racing calendar happend this weekend with the Canadian Grand Prix, the seventh stop on the Formula 1 calendar, running today in Montreal at the Circuit Gilles Villeneuve. For whatever reason, this race always seems to have excitement in some form or another - crashes, drivers chasing eachother off the road, pitlane incidents - and this year was no exception.

The race started out fairly routinely until Adrian Sutil's engine gave out and he had to pull over by the side of the track. Because of where he stopped, the safety care came out until the crew could move the smoking Force India. With the safety car out, the top six - Raikkonen, Hamilton, Massa, Alonso, Rosberg and Kubica - all decided to pit and not lose track position. Here's where it gets interesting: in Montreal, because of the layout of the circuit, there are times when the pit lane exit will close when the race is under caution, so the train of cars can all safely make it around turn 2 without being blasted into by drivers leaving the pit lane. On this particular set of pit stops, the red light came on at the end of the pit lane and forced Raikkonen and Kubica, the first two drivers out from their stops, to wait at the pit exit before re-joining the track. Then, for whatever reason, inexperience or just plain not watching, Hamilton drove square in to the back end of Raikkonen's Ferrari, with Rosberg following and clipping the McLaren. As the green light came on, Kubica made a quick getaway while Hamilton and Raikkonen were forced to hop out of their cars and call it a day (as a side note, both drivers sort of just shrugged it off as a racing incident... pretty sure if it had been Michael Schumacher that Hamilton ran into it would have been different...)

With the top two drivers off the track, it was Kubica and Heidfeld's race the rest of the way, once they got past the trio of old men, Coulthard, Trulli and Barrichello, who all had really strong races. When Kubica finally crossed the finish line, it was the first win for the BMW team and Kubica's first win of his career. With Heidfeld coming in second, it was also a 1-2 day for BMW. Although they did it without two of the best drivers to compete against, the BMWs were certainly deserving of the win. It was also pretty cool to see Kubica get his first win in Montreal, considering the brush with death he had here last season - Kubica clipped Jarno Trulli's car and went spinning across the grass, got airborne and slammed into one wall before careening across the track and slamming the opposite wall, after most of the car had disintegrated and left him with just the cockpit around him. After this weekend, BMW have certainly made a case for being a real, legitimate third team behing McLaren and Ferrari, but it will be interesting to see if they can keep up the form and stay ahead of the rest of the mid-pack for the rest of the season.

French Open Finals

2008-06-09T00:06:00.006-04:00

The French Open at Roland Garros, the second of the Grand Slam tournaments on the tennis schedule, wrapped up today and there were great finals on both the men's and women's side. On Saturday, Ana Ivanovic beat Dinara Safina 6-4, 6-3 to win her first major title. Both of these girls looked, and played, nervous during the first set, but the in the second they settled down a bit and put on a good show. There were more breaks and unforced errors than winners, but it was still a competitive match. Getting her first Grand Slam win definetly moved Ivanovic up into a more elite group at the top of the women's game, especially with Justine Henin's retirement. Ivanovic also inherits the world #1 ranking from Henin, in addition to being presented with the trophy by last year's champ, with her win and Sharapova's loss earlier on in the tournament.

On the men's side, Rafael Nadal took down Roger Federer - and in dramatic fashion - defeating him 6-1, 6-3, 6-0. It was honestly nothing short of astonishing, not because Nadal won, but the way and speed with which he did it. Federer never looked quite right and just couldn't get his serve going. He looked like he was getting back on track in the second set, but again the errors started to add up and he just had too much of a hill to climb. The third set was like nothing I have seen from Federer before... although at that point he probably just wanted to get off that court and run away and hide. This win for Nadal makes their rivalry even more lopsided, but only really on clay. Federer is still the favourite going into Wimbledon in a few weeks time, but it certainly looks like Nadal is closing the gap.

Things are looking up... or are they?

2008-06-02T17:44:00.004-04:00

Given that the Stanley Cup Finals are currently going on, the average Canadian sports fan could be forgiven for having no idea what's going with the men's national soccer team. I mean, sure, the Reds played world #2 Brazil in a fabulously entertaining match on Saturday (which Canada ultimately lost 3-2, but easily could have tied or even won), but hey, there's no reason that should cut into the nightly 10-minute discussion of the Red Wings' third line, right?

I'm as big a hockey fan as the next guy, but the Canadian sports media's dependence upon the NHL is pretty pathetic. As a self-professed hockey fan, I have zero interest in an extended, meaningless discussion about hypothetical concerns on off-days. But that's exactly what we get served, every night. And yet a very encouraging performance by the men's national team (who begin World Cup qualifying in two weeks) gets shuffled off to page six of the sports section, or minute 17 of the highlight show, while the headlines continue to be dominating by tired talking heads chattering on about banal nonsense surrounding a largely uninspired hockey series between two American teams.

Now, it seems like a positive that CBC held its second-ever "Soccer Day in Canada" on Saturday, likely in response to the reality that more kids in Canada play soccer than hockey, and to the realization that Canadian sports fans actually are capable of being interested in a game that doesn't involve ice and a puck. Then, in the ultimately bit of irony, CBC covered a Detroit/Pittsburgh hockey game, while Canada's match against one of the world's soccer superpowers was not covered anywhere.

Plus, Canada's first World Cup qualifying match, on June 15, also won't be broadcast anywhere (though apparently the stadium in St. Vincent and the Grenadines, where the match will be held, is not even capable of hosting a television camera, which is pretty ridiculous in 2008).

Either way, those in the Canadian sports media will continue to convince themselves that soccer (the world's most popular sport) is just some fringe novelty that may play in the ethnic enclaves in downtown Toronto, but nowhere else, while pretending that anyone, anywhere could possibly give half a damn about Hal Gill's knee or Darren McCarty's ankle or whatever other hockey-related triviality they decide to fill airtime and column inches with.

Meanwhile, this team -- potentially the best Canadian men's national team ever, by some accounts -- seems poised to eventually march into the final round of World Cup qualifying, and possibly into South Africa 2010, if their performance on Saturday is any indication of their potential. Then, if and when that happens, all the pundits and prognosticators will act as if they've been on the bandwagon all along.

Of course, if the team fails along the way, they'll be met with either the same passive indifference they've experienced since time immemorial and/or the pundits and prognosticators will come out of the woodwork to triumphantly proclaim "I told you so! Canada stinks at soccer! Give it up!"

It's very confusing to me, trying to understand why so many people in this country -- in the sports media and otherwise -- seem to relish the failure of Canadian soccer players and teams. This isn't apathy -- as in "Canada stunk it up at a world track and field meet? Oh well" -- but active, passionate disdain for the mere suggestion that Canada could ever have a successful soccer program. It's a chicken and egg situation, trying to figure out whether this attitude, or the media's perpetuation of this line of thinking, came first.

But either way, it has to (and likely soon will) stop. All of the pompous, puck-sucking media bigwigs and self-defeatist everyday chumps need to accept the fact that despite the numerous failings of the sport's governing body in this country, Canada is producing world-class soccer players on both the men's and women's side, and that our national teams are not afterthoughts or pushovers. The next step towards this self-realization is the men's team's next tune-up friendly match, against Panama, on Wednesday.

... oh, wait. It's not being broadcast in Canada, is it?

Canucks defenceman dies in motorcycle crash

2008-05-29T21:07:00.004-04:00

The Vancouver Canucks lost a promising defenceman today. Luc Bourdon, the team's first round pick in 2005, died this afternoon in northern New Brunswick after being involved in a motorcycle accident where he lost control of his bike and collided with a tractor trailer. He was only 21 years old, and at the beginning of what looked to be a promising career.

He starred on Canada's national Junior team in 2006 and 2007, winning gold in both tournaments. He also won the Memorial Cup in 2006 with the Moncton Wildcats. Bourdon was just beginning to get his foot in the door in the NHL, having played with both the Canucks and their AHL team, the Manitoba Moose, in the 2007-2008 season.

Bourdon had apparently only just started riding motorcylces, according to his agent, and had apparently bought his own bike recently. This is a tragedy to hear about for anyone, at any age, but especially when it's someone who was so young and only just starting out in his professional life. RIP, Luc.

Playoffs - night 38

2008-05-29T15:45:00.000-04:00

Pittsburgh 3 - Detroit 2
I guess these kids have some game after all... Although when you're looking at going down 3-0 in a series in your first home game, you'd like to think that the big players would show up. For the Penguins, their biggest player, Crosby, showed up in a big way, getting them on the scoresheet with their first two goals of the series. Fleury also came up bigger in this game than in the previous two. And who knows, maybe it's all psychological, but the Penguins haven't lost in Pittsburgh in 17 games, playoff and regular season. Detroit isn't a team to let one game have them beat, and I have a feeling they will just find another gear to move into before the next game. Game 4 on Saturday night.

Playoffs - night 37

2008-05-27T16:45:00.002-04:00

Detroit 3 - Pittsburgh 0
Wow. Another game, another shutout for old man Osgoode against the kiddies from Steeltown. Detriot is showing, quite easily, that they are simply playing at another level from everyone else in the league. Alright, so Pittsburgh isn't exactly rolling over and playing dead, but they also don't seem to be clicking on the same level that they have been for the past few weeks. One area they seem to be doing just fine in is the whining - at the post-game news conference, Crosby said "I mean, they got a few chances. Did they really get that many scoring chances on us? I don't think they did" Okay... so why was it that the shots were 34-22 in favour of the old men? Right, I forgot, not all shots are scoing chances... that must be it. Maybe if the Pens want to get back in this series, they should take less time talking about all the scoing chances Detroit did or didn't have and try to create some of their own. Game 3 on Wednesday.

Playoffs - night 36

2008-05-25T15:37:00.002-04:00

Detroit 4 - Pittsburgh 0

Well that's quite the way to start a series. Although the Pens came out charging in the first, they couldn't get past Osgoode. The Wings had too much speed and skill, and just wore out the kiddies in the rest of the game. Detroit also had an unexpected hero in Samuelsson, who got two unassisted goals to lead the scoring. The Pens will undoubtably try to knock the Wings off their game, but Detroit are a team of cagey veterans who won't be easily intimidated. Game Two on Monday.

Manchester United wins Champions League

2008-05-22T12:35:00.004-04:00

The game had storybook ending written all over it: the top two teams in Europe play a close game that ends with a 1-1 draw; no goals in extra time; during penalty kicks, one team misses and it comes down to the opposition captain to win it. Instead of the perfect ending, John Terry, the Chelsea captain, slipped on the rain-soaked turf and shanked his kick off the goal post. This was the turning point in the penalty kicks, and Manchester United went on to beat Chelsea 6-5 on penalties to win their third Champions League title.

This was the first time in the history of the Champions League, Europe's biggest club tournament, that there was an all-English final - and it was a doozy. Lots of action, not too much whining and diving, but lots of scrappy play, especially towards the end of the game. The conditions on the field looked bad, bordering on horrible, especially when it was coming down to the second half of extra time and the penalty kicks. The game also seemed to be being played at a strange time of day, considering it ended around 1:30AM local (Moscow) time. Although it was late at night, the ending was certainly dramatic and made me want to go and hug John Terry after he missed that penalty.

Even though I'm not really a fan of either club and didn't really have anything invested in the outcome of this game, I couldn't tear myself away. To me, that's what a championship of any league should be like - even if you're not really a fan, as long as you understand the game you should be enthralled by the play. Congrats to Manchester, and now we bring on Euro 2008!

The 2008 Stanley Cup Finals Preview

2008-05-21T12:19:00.006-04:00

We've finally made it: two months, over three dozen nights of hockey, 16 teams, and more bad suits on Don Cherry than I care to remember. But the important thing is that it's finally time for the Stanley Cup Finals. Well... sorta... Game 1 doesn't happen until Saturday, but I'm impatient (that and I think it's ridiculous to have a four-day break between rounds of play, but that's for another time). So, once again without the aid of primates or spinning wheels....

The Finals
Western Conference Champion Detroit Red Wings vs Eastern Conference Champion Pittsburgh Penguins

Elena: Yeeesh. You have no idea how much it pained me to actually type that title in front of the Penguins. One theory being bandied about this city is that Senators fans are less disgruntled that the Pens beat us because now they've made it all the way to the Finals. Yeah, whatever. I'm even more pissed off that this bunch of overachieving, whining children are going to be playing in the Finals. I'm also less than thrilled about how this is being billed as the greatest matchup ever in the history of hockey. Let's not get ahead of ourselves here.

But I digress. The actual series will present some interesting matchups between the aforementioned children and the relatively old Red Wings team. In net, the Pens have the currently hot Fleury, but the Wings have the tested and savvy veteran Osgoode, who has played his was back to the top of the game after Hasek seems to have gone MIA. Both goalies will see lots of shots and traffic, so the cooler head will probably prevail. Both teams play team defence rather than relying on one or two heavies, although the team that Lidstrom leads is significantly more experienced and better than the team that Hal Gill is the current stud of.

Up front provides the most intrigue - the Pens have the flash and dash (Crosby, Hossa, Malkin, Staal) and loads of goal-scoring ability. The Wings, meanwhile, have just as much scoring power, but those guys still seem to be under the radar a bit. Zetterberg, Datsyuk, Holmstrom and Franzen have been tearing it up, yet they don't seem to get the same star credit as the Pens players. The question mark for Detroit will be if the main gunners will have to hold up, or if the grinders can step up and get some offence going. The Wings could also be missing Johan "the Mule" Franzen, but his headaches and concussion symptoms are apparently starting to subside, so he could be ready to go for this round.

All in all, this series could go one of two ways - Detroit domination of a young and inexperienced Pittsburgh team, or the kids matching the old boys and making a series out of it. It will be a good one to watch, but I'm certainly not ready to label it a "clash of the titans" or anything.
Bottom Line: Playoff beards over playoff peachfuzz - Detroit in 6.

Daniel: I can take a wild guess as to how much it pained Elena to type that title sentence -- about a tenth as much as it'd have pained her to type "Eastern Conference Champion Toronto Maple Leafs". And so as to pre-empt the inevitable Leaf-bashing: yes, I'm aware she'll never have to worry about typing that. I'm not sure where all of this anti-Penguin rage is coming from, though. Is it because they beat the Sens? Or is it all Crosby? I mean, sure, he chirps the refs a little too much for a 2o-year-old kid, but are they all "whining children"? I dunno.

Anyway... I, too, digress. While I agree that this is not the sport-rejuvenating, earth-shaking matchup that some media types are making it out to be (mostly to drum up interest in a series that has absolutely no business being played in mid-May, never mind June), it will almost certainly mean higher ratings south of the border than Tampa/Calgary, Carolina/Edmonton or Anaheim/Ottawa. One area where the NHL has fallen behind the other big sports is in its promotion of individual stars, and considering how hard the league has been pressing Sid the Kid, a victory for the Pens could mean good things for hockey in the States. Heck, even guys like Tony Kornheiser might take a few seconds away from studying the statistics of bench players in Division III college basketball to learn which teams are playing in the Cup finals.... okay, maybe that's asking too much. But it'd be a start.

Both teams have made quick work of the early rounds, which means there should be some gas left in the tank -- then again, it's likely that half of the players are nursing injuries that will only be revealed once the season is done. Both teams have depth (which you need to have to get this far), but the Pens' youth makes them better equipped to deal with the accumulated bumps and bruises. Sure, the Wings have more playoff experience. But they hit a bit of a snag in finishing off the Stars, while the Pens have been essentially unencumbered on their march to the Finals. So if we're counting intangible properties that may or may not ultimately have any impact on the games themselves, it's Wings 1 (experience) - Pens 1 (momentum).

Ultimately this series, like any other, comes down to an unpredictable combination of skill, timing, luck and unforeseen events (goofy goal, ridiculous ref call, etc.) And that's why we'll all sit back and watch it unfold.
Bottom Line: Because there's no justice in this world for the people of Michigan, Pens in 7.

So here we are, ready for the Cup Finals. I'm hoping for some good, clean hockey and decent refereeing for these important games. And, if it's not too much to ask, some more neon-shaded tapestries for Don Cherry to wear.

Russia wins World Championship

2008-05-19T10:58:00.004-04:00

After a hell of a performance in their first time as the home team at the World Championships, Team Canada came up just short in the final. The Gold medal game was a marquee matchup between Canada and Russia, and Ilya Kovalchuk made sure the Russians went home happy when he scored the winning goal in OT for them to take it 5-4.

Much was made of the fact that this was the first Worlds to be held outside of Europe, and I think Halifax and Quebec City pulled it off fabulously - of course having Canada go 8-0 to get to the finals didn't hurt either. Dany Heatley also did his part and broke some Team Canada scoring records along the way to being named tournament MVP. Even though they got a few scares along the way, Canada had all the parts to an amazing team.

The story of the final game will be the mini-meltdown that allowed the Russians to score three unanswered goals in the third and the delay of game penalty that Rick Nash took just a few minutes into overtime. Kovalchuck had two amazing shots to first tie it up in regulation and then win it in OT. Nash knew what he'd done was bad, but there was hope that the penalty wouldn't get called. When it did, it was just too easy for the Russians to dance through the short-handed Canadians and bury it.

As an all-around team, Canada played really well, but none better than Heatley. For Sens fans like myself, who were watching this because our team was out of the Stanley Cup playoffs, it was both good and bad to see Heatley playing so well - good to see that he hadn't completely lost his touch, but also infuriating to see him scoring at will over the past two weeks while he couldn't score for about two months in a Sens jersey.

All in all, great tournament and one I dearly wish I could have been at in Halifax. I'm hoping the strong showing from the fans and good organization will show the IIHF that Canada should be considered for another Worlds soon.

Playoffs - night 35

2008-05-19T10:45:00.003-04:00

Pittsburgh 6 - Philadelphia 0
Yeesh. Even the score just looks ugly. For better or for worse, this was a game that you could just feel Philly wasn't going to win. The Pens got the offence, the goaltending, the calls, and the bounces all going their way. And as much as I dislike them, full marks have to go to the Flyers for making it all the way to the conference finals only one year after finishing in the conference basement. And although I, and probably a lot of fans in Canada, could care less, Gary Bettman must be salivating. Pittsburgh wins series 4-1.

Playoffs - night 34

2008-05-18T20:09:00.002-04:00

Detroit 1 - Dallas 2
Well, well, well, seems that Marty Turco's Detroit curse is finally over. After a 0-9-2 record there as a pro, he finally got a well deserved win. The Stars simply had more desire to win in this game, although the Wings certainly gave them trouble. Turco came up big and made some really important saves, but the Wings also missed some key opportunities. On that note, the two buffoons on the post-game show on NBC Detroit didn't seem to realize that you can have it both ways in a game (ie. the Wings missed chances, but when they did hit the net, all 38 times, Turco stopped them). The Stars have made this a series and think they can win it, and Turco's confidence can only be getting better. Huge Game Six back in Dallas on Monday night.

Playoffs - night 33

2008-05-16T20:27:00.002-04:00

Philadelphia 4 - Pittsburgh 2
The good news is the Penguins won't get another sweep. The bad news is that this series has another game (can you tell I really don't like these two?) The Flyers got off to a fast start and made sure they had a lead they could hold for the rest of the game, although Jordan Staal certainly gave them a run for their money. Biron more than held his own in the Philly net, and Lupul and Hartnell came up big in this one. The Flyers are riding on emotion now, but the Pens are just trying to get it over with. Game 5 on Sunday.

Playoffs - night 32

2008-05-15T18:25:00.002-04:00

Dallas 3 - Detroit 1
Well the Stars held off the stars for one more night at least. Turco came up big in this one, and just in the nick of time too since Detroit outshot Dallas. Morrow was back and playing well, and Modano stepped up and scored the game-winner as well. Little bit of controversy for the Wings though, because they had a goal called off because of "interference" at the front of the net. Now I don't know what kind of vantage point the referee had, but when you see the replays it was fairly obvious that Holmstrom, who was providing the screen for Datsyuk's shot, wasn't even in the blue ice. We'll see how the crowd, or what will be called a crowd, back in Detroit reacts in the next game... I find it interesting that a city like Detroit, a "hockey town" can't sell out in the confernce finals, yet Dallas is packing them in up to the rafters... Game 5 on Saturday.

Justine Henin retires

2008-05-14T20:15:00.007-04:00

This came as quite a surprise to hear today, but apparently Justine Henin, the world's current number one women's tennis player, is retiring immediately from the WTA Tour. She made the announcement at a news conference this morning. I was really shocked to hear this, since Justine is definetly still at the top of her game and is only turning 26 in June. It also seems like strange timing with the French Open, a tournament she's won the past three years, coming up in a few weeks.

I always loved watching Justine play because she made so much happen with so little physical presence. She's only about 5'5" (ie only a few inches taller than me), but could hold her own, and even take down, players who are much larger. Justine's also got one of the sweetest backhands known to tennis and managed to make it look easy, while still throwing everything she had at every match.

Although 25 doesn't seem old in the real world, the reality in tennis is that when girls are breaking in and having success by the time they're 18, you're an old lady by your mid 20s. These days you never know about a comeback, but it will be strange watching someone else win Roland Garros this year.

Playoffs - night 31

2008-05-14T20:10:00.003-04:00

Philadelphia 1 - Pittsburgh 4
I guess Malkin wasn't the only Pens star the Flyers needed to worry about. Seems Marian Hossa has finally found his playoff scoring touch... about four years too late for many fans in my part of the world, but that's beside the point. This damn team of upstarts looks like they're on their way to the Finals, barring a miracle in Philly or the Flyers finding some sort of new offensive strategy. My suggestion is to start roping people like the cowboy guy did in D2: The Mighty Ducks. Other than that, who knows. Although I must admit it's paining me to be practically gunning for the Flyers. Game Four on Thursday.

Despite what you may have heard, I can admit when I'm wrong.

2008-05-14T10:35:00.002-04:00

Although this post wasn't entirely wrong (I did say you "may" never see a day like this again), it still is pretty damn surprising to be sitting here in the middle of May and see the AL East standings shake down the way they have. Surprising and maddening. So I'm done making prognostications about who's going where this baseball season. Done, I say.

JP's at it again

2008-05-13T13:10:00.006-04:00

Even though complaining about the Blue Jays has been done to death here, I just have to vent. I, a die-hard fan since pretty much birth, am verging on giving up on this team. They are infuriating to watch, but I just can't tear myself away. Last night, just when I thought things couldn't get worse, they managed to hit into an unassisted triple play. I couldn't believe it. Then, in the 9th inning of the second game in the double header, the Jays had runners on the corners and got a hit to the outfield that was inches away from being a base hit - instead, the inning was over and the Indians were getting a chance to win the game. I was swearing, hitting the table, yelling... and for what?!

But that's not my point. My main frustration, besides the whole lack of winning thing, is the ineptitude of JP Ricciardi and the mind-boggling decisions he has been allowed to make in the name of "progress." Allow me to elaborate:

Releasing Reed Johnson. Now I thought this was a dumb move for many reasons, the least of which was the fact that I want to be on him. Johnson is one of the most defensively responsible outfielders the team has ever had and could play the tricky left field corner really well. When healthy, he could hit at a rate that would be somewhere near the top of the current team's statistics. Yes, he had back surgery last year - but that doesn't mean that he is no good any more. He had a decent spring and looked like he was getting back to his pre-hernia form. The Jays have now gone through four or five left fielders since opening day, and the Mike Keenan-esque revolving door doesn't look to be slowing down any time soon.
Signing Shannon Stewart. Well this goes pretty much hand in hand with the above point. Stewart is a 34-year-old who can't play defense that well, doesn't have the speed he used to, and apparently can't even hit worth a damn any more. Yet to save about $2 million, they signed him instead of keeping Johnson. That's money well spent for another old benchwarmer, eh JP?
Jerking around Adam Lind. Alright, Johnson's gone and Stewart is useless. What to do now, JP wonders? How about go to the farm system! Surprise, surprise, the Jays actually have someone useful down there. So call him up, and let him play. May as well learn in the majors. Alright, not playing as well as we would like, but we'll let him keep trying... wait no we won't? We'll send him back? Give him a demotion at a time when the team needs some new energy? And likely take a bite out of his confidence at the same time? Sure, why not.
Signing two cast-off losers. Now I'm not a GM, or even pretend to have most of the necessary insight or qualification to do that sort of job (hell, just look at my fantasy baseball record and you'll see that). But I have a newsflash for you JP: there's a reason Kevin Mench and Brad Wilkerson were available. No one else wanted these two. And to be perfectly honest, there's no good reason a team like the Jays, who say over and over again that they want to be competitive with the very best, should be picking up charity cases like this. I know they've only been in one series so far, but nothing I have seen from either of them looks any different than what Lind, Stewart or Joe Inglett could be providing.
Saying you're done looking. In an article in the Toronto Star today, Ricciardi is saying that he's done making moves. This is it. What we see is what we get. Oh, and while he's at it, JP's insisting that he has faith in his coaching staff. Again, JP, some advice if I may. You seem to be in the habit of lying to the fans (see incidents involving BJ Ryan's injury last season and insisting last winter that there were no big moves coming), and we've noticed. So for once, why not use that power for a little spin-doctoring. Tell us what we want to hear, and that is that you think the team can improve, but you've always got your eye out for a deal if you can make one. Granted that's not what I want to happen, but you can see how that sounds better than "naw, we're good for now." Because frankly JP, we're not good for now. In fact we're going nowhere fast, and your little "five-year plan" is getting harder and harder to keep extending. (See, this wasn't all about the outfield)

I know the team on the field needs to play better, but sometimes the bounces don't go your way for a while and you have to make the best of it. But when your general manager is just coasting along, unconcerned with mediocrity and allowed to stay there, then I think there is a problem.

Playoffs - night 30

2008-05-13T10:51:00.003-04:00

Dallas 2 - Detroit 5
I think it's time that the Stars face facts and realize that they're not playing like they were in the first two rounds. No, it's not all Turco's fault, but he certainly hasn't been up to the standard he set for himself. Right now Dallas is getting beat the way Ottawa got beat all season - score a goal and then get scored on right back. But they also had some key players go down in this game, with Modano leaving early and Morrow landing really awkwardly on his shoulder. Even though I predicted the Wings to win, it would be nice if it wasn't a sweep. Game Four on Wednesday.

Playoffs - night 29

2008-05-12T10:13:00.003-04:00

Pittsburgh 4 - Philadelphia 2
Well, they're consistant if nothing else. Can't really say the same about the officiating that I saw in this game. The one play that really sticks out in my mind was the "hooking" call that Derian Hatcher took in the second, which was really nothing more than Hatcher playing defence. Now I really don't like the Flyers, and really can't stand Hatcher, but this is one of those calls that makes you embarrased at the level of officiating that the league has in the playoffs. Philadelphia also seemd to get an inordinate amount of penalties called against them. John Stevens, the Flyers coach, also wasn't happy with the way the game was called. This one could get ugly. Game Three on Tuesday.

Playoffs - night 28

2008-05-11T11:31:00.003-04:00

Detroit 2 - Dallas 1
Poor Marty Turco... he just can't catch a break in Detroit. Crappy record aside, Dallas probably thought they had a chance in this one after they found out that Franzen was a scratch because of headaches and concussion-like symptoms. The real excitement in this one came at the very end when Osgoode stuck his stick out a bit and caught Ribero on his way past the net. That lead to Ribero having some pushing and shoving with other Wings, and then taking a swing at Osgoode and catching him in the chest with his stick. Both guys got fined, but no suspensions, so they'll both be there for the next game. Game Three on Monday.

Playoffs - night 27

2008-05-10T22:12:00.002-04:00

Pittsburgh 4 - Philadelphia 2
I guess the Flyers got their answer about which Pens star to try and keep track of - Malkin had a pair of goals and has really established himself as a major scoring threat who is leading the playoffs with 17 points. Fleury is also still chugging along in nets and keeping the Pens in the games. Pittsburgh also seems to be good to the Pens, because they've won all six of their home playoff games this year. The Flyers have been in this position before in the playoffs this year and bounced back, so we'll see if the trend continues. Game Two on Sunday.

Why does Gary Denbo have a job?

2008-05-09T15:00:00.003-04:00

Though many Jays fans would like to see the heads of manager John Gibbons and/or GM J.P. Ricciardi served up on a platter as a result of the team's shocking and infuriating ineptitude so far this season, you have to lay a good deal of the blame somewhere else... on the team's new hitting coach, Gary Denbo.

Denbo, remember, was brought in to replace Mickey Brantley, who apparently couldn't fire up last year's team to produce enough runs. Keep in mind, though, that due to the mind-boggling array of injuries the team suffered last year, Brantley was left to deal with mostly fill-ins, minor-leaguers and journeymen for much of the season. Plus, the team's pitching was nowhere near as solid as this year's. So to scrape an almost-.500 record out of that season was about as much as could have been hoped for.

This year, however, with the exception of Scott Rolen's month-long stint on the DL, the team on the field has been exactly as planned (save for the unexpected departure of Frank Thomas), and look where they are. Last in the division and, if their performance keeps up this way, essentially already out of contention. Their problem certainly has not been pitching; based on the stats, Toronto has the absolute best starting rotation in the American League, if not the entire MLB, so far this season.

In fact, Jays pitchers on the whole have allowed the third fewest runs in the entire Majors (132) to this point, 18 fewer than their closest AL East rival (Tampa Bay at 150). Of course, even though a one-run CG is an outstanding performance for a starting pitcher, it still means a loss if his team can't back him up with any run support (see: Halladay, Roy). The team's impotence when it comes to cashing in runners is positively epic. Even the most sure-fire run-scoring situations (runners on second and/or third with zero outs) generally result in nothing for this team.

So why does Gary Denbo have a job? What is he doing to justify his existence on the team's payroll? While I'm sure he's a nice guy, and while the situation he stepped into may have been crappy to begin with, the odour of failure has only become more pungent since his arrival.

Then again, since he's apparently useless, you could question why he was hired in the first place -- a decision that lands you, again, at J.P. Ricciardi's doorstep. It became clear long ago that despite Ricciardi's boastful talk of having long-term plans and wanting to build the team upon his arrival, his management style has descended into a simple "grab and run" strategy -- grab whoever you can from the free agent market, waiver wire, minor leagues, trash heap, anywhere -- and hope they take the ball and run with it.

(Case in point: Reports say J.P.'s latest saviour for the Jays' sinking ship is Brad Wilkerson. Yeah, the guy you kind of, sort of remember playing for the Expos 10 years ago. Oh baby, with that career .249 BA and Glaus-ian striking-out ability, I can start planning for the World Series parade now.)

But this won't cut it anymore. I was in attendance at last night's 13-inning dung-pile of a game, and there was definitely a sense of palpable frustration in the crowd. This was not the "I'm upset that my team lost this game, but oh well, we'll get 'em tomorrow" kind of frustration, which is normal and healthy. It was tired, defeated, "why do I even bother with this team?" frustration, which is definitely not healthy for a franchise, especially if those fans end up answering the "why bother?" question with "I shouldn't. It's not worth my time and aggravation."

Unless something changes dramatically by the end of this season -- whether it's on the field, in the dugout or in the head office -- there are going to be a lot of Jays fans coming to that conclusion. And that could have very dire consequences for the future of Major League Baseball in this city.

Playoffs - night 26

2008-05-09T14:15:00.000-04:00

Detroit 4 - Dallas 1
Well I guess the Stars couldn't really expect the trend of winning on the road to continue. Even without the fact that Turco hasn't statistically been good in Detroit, they simply got in too deep a hole to get out of. Detroit just needs Franzen to keep scoring, and everything's good for them. Game Two on Saturday.

Chuck busts out the salami and cheese

2008-05-07T11:51:00.002-04:00

Normally when you hear Chuck Swirsky exclaim that ridiculous catchphrase, it's a good thing - the Toronto Raptors have probably just put the finishing touches on a win, and Chuck is happy as can be. But the news coming out yesterday that the voice of the Raptors is leaving the organization is an ending that is decidedly less happy.

Chuck is apparently leaving the Raptors for "personal family reasons" and returning to Chicago to join the Bulls radio team. Although he isn't really from there, he worked in Chicago for quite a while before coming to Toronto, so this may be a case of having to return "home" because of family needs.

The Swirsk was the voice of the Raptors for the past decade, the first three years on the radio side, and then moved over to TV for the past seven years. He is also a signature voice with the Raps, like Rick Jeannerette with the Buffalo Sabres or Harry Caray with the Chicago Cubs, and one of the most liked commentators I've ever seen in action. He had just signed a four-year contract extension with the team last season, and even got his Canadian citizenship this winter.

Now I'm not a big basketball fan, and I pretty much only watch is when my dad or brother has the Raptors game on TV. But to be perfectly honest, listening to Swirsky and Leo Rautins call the games was a pretty big part of it for me. They worked really well together as commentators, and Chuck could always be counted on for some entertainment. Raptors basketball won't be the same without "Onions, baby, onions!," "Oh my Bosh!" or the classic "Bust out the salami and cheese, mama, this ball game is over!"

We'll miss you Chuck.

The 2008 Playoff Preview: Third Round

2008-05-06T11:12:00.005-04:00

OK, so last time out didn't go so well... but here's hoping things can turn around for the Conference Finals...

The East

(2) Pittsburgh vs (6) Philadelphia
Elena: Well this series excites me about as much as cleaning the bathroom. I'm no fan of the Flyers, especially the "hardnosed" and "gritty" (ie. dirty) version this season, and I like the Penguins less every time I see them play (except for Marian Hossa, I still carry a torch for him). That being said, all the Flyers really need is for Biron to keep up his winning ways and the Crosby chirping and for Umberger to maintain his newfound pure goal-scorer status, and they'll be set. The Pens will need to watch how penalties get called and make sure they don't get sucked in too much by the Flyers' instigators, or we could see a repeat of Crosby and Malkin hanging out in the box together.
Bottom Line: Do I really have to pick? Just because I don't want to see the Pens in the Finals - Flyers in 6

Daniel: There goes the whole Canadian team v.s. non-hockey market finals matchup... thanks for nothing, Habs. Anyway, the success of the Flyers (and, over in the NBA, the Celtics) shows that "rebuilding periods" are complete BS, and that one good off-season can transform a big-time loser into a championship contender. (Are you paying attention, MLSE?) On the other hand, the Pens built their team the "right" way -- with years and years of sucktitude, not just one. Since my previous picks have shown that my ability to prognosticate is sketchy at best, I'll do what my fellow Sportrambler did, and pick this one based on hatred of one of the teams.
Bottom Line: Just because I don't want to see the Flyers in the Finals - Penguins in 6

The West

(1) Detroit vs (5) Dallas
Elena: Well, so much for a Detroit collapse. Although I really don't think anyone expected Johan Franzen to be the hero and carry the team. The wily veterans are still flying under the radar somewhat, and that in itself is a bit surprising. The Stars have been drinking the Kool-Aid (and apparently eating the pizza) and are on to something that no one else can quite figure out. They do have one of the best goalies in the country working his ass off for them, and the Brad Richards move seems to be paying off. But they have also been getting some goal scoring, and other contributions, from some unlikely sources. This could get interesting.
Bottom Line: I've picked against Detroit twice and was wrong... Wings in 7.

Daniel: You know, this "new" NHL looks a lot like the "old" NHL. It's the third round - where are the Blue Jackets, Blackhawks and Coyotes, and all the other beneficiaries of "parity"? Blathering aside, as Elena said, the goal-scoring tear that Franzen has been on is positively epic, and the sort of performance that can bring a team to the promised land. On the other side, captain Brenden Morrow has strapped his team to his back and is lugging them up the playoff mountain. Since the Wings haven't self-destructed yet, I start to get that uncomfortable sensation in my gut whereby I think it's "their" year. But the upstart Stars have breezed their way along so far, and if this is a short series then... well... my prediction will be wrong.
Bottom Line: The series will go 7, possibly giving the Wings a chance to sell out one home date... and they'll take it, giving them more chances in the Finals.

I guess now only time will tell if a monkey really can do this better.

Playoffs - night 25

2008-05-05T11:29:00.003-04:00

Pittsburgh 3 - New York 2(OT)
This certainly wasn't the way this series was expected to go. Although I think it was the trendy thing to pick the Pens, I really believe that the Rangers were the more talented team in this series. At the end of the day the defense in front of Lundqvist needed to be better, but it just wasn't there. Lots of talk about how that might have been Jagr's last NHL game, but he didn't sound like a guy ready to retire after that one. Also questions about Shanahan and if this could be the end for him. I personally hope not, because he's still a great player, although didn't fare very well in this series, and an important person to have around on things like the competition comittee. Pittsburgh's all set up for the Battle of Pennsylvania (that even looks dumb to write) which no one outside of that state, and possibly Nova Scotia, will care about. Penguins win series 4-1.

San Jose 1 - Dallas 2 (4OT)
I think it was last week that someone on TV was mentioning the fact that the OT games this playoff season had been relatively short, ie. ending in the first OT... I think last night's game more than made up for that! Alright, I must fess up and say that I didn't actually get to watch any of this game, because I was in bed before it even started, on account of it being the first practice day of rowing season (I wake up at 4:30AM! And will do so for the next month!). But holy crap of all the games to have to sleep through! I think the phrase "goaltending duel" is pretty overused these days, but this game truly was a battle between Turco, who stopped 62 shots, and Nabokov, who stopped 55. Many of the players also put on a great show - Richards had the winning goal for Dallas, Roenick was all over the ice and Brian Campbell played over 56 minutes, or just short of an hour of ice time. Unfortunately he was the one who took the penalty and was in the box when the winner finally happened. Dallas wins series 4-2.

Conference Finals preview coming soon!

Playoffs - night 24

2008-05-04T13:26:00.002-04:00

Montreal 4 - Philadelphia 6
What a crazy game. A few things to consider from this series: 1) Since when is RJ Umberger a goal-scoring machine? He's had almost as many goals in this series as he did all season. 2) I think Carey Price just got tired by last night's game, and it will be interesting to see what Carbonneau's reaction is on Monday - he wasn't happy with the Huet trade and wasn't sure if Price should be the Habs starter this season. 3) Montreal's powerplay totally let them down. 4) Who knew Martin Biron was a top-notch playoff goalie? 5) Habs fans need to watch out before they become like Leafs fans and start planning the parade before the first round is even over. All that being said, I'm quite dissapointed with the outcome of this series, not only because I picked Montreal to win, but I can't stand the Flyers and don't want to see them playing for the East title. Philadelphia wins series 4-1.

Playoffs - night 23

2008-05-03T20:18:00.005-04:00

Dallas 2 - San Jose 3 (OT)
Apparently Sharks have nine lives too. This was a game they needed to win or have a long summer to think about it, and they threw everything out there. Desperation seems to work for them, since they scored two quick goals in the third and then outmuscled the Stars for the OT winner. The Stars had their share of chances too though, and had two goals waved off, one for being kicked in and one for getting pushed in with a hand. Nabokov outdid Turco in this one, although Dallas really only had a few minutes of defensive breakdown that allowed the two regulation goals. The Sharks are one of the teams that could make some history if they can come back. Game 6 on Sunday.

Playoffs - night 22

2008-05-02T17:15:00.002-04:00

New York 3 - Pittsburgh 0
Jaromir Jagr said he believed, and then he delivered. He came up huge in the game to hold off the Penguins and make them lose for the first time in the playoffs. Lundqvist also had a great game and held off everything the Pens sent his way. They'll have to keep up that kind of form and intensity for the next game, and hope that they can keep Malkin and Crosby frustrated. Both guys were taking penalties at bad times and were stuck in the box when their team needed them. Game 5 on Sunday afternoon.

Colorado 2 - Detroit 8
Yeeeesh. When I heard how many regulars would be missing from the Avs for this game, I figured they were done for... I just didn't think they would be tarred and feathered like that. Now I must admit that I was expecting one of the teams in this series to colapse, I just didn't think it would be Detroit. The Avs had way too many of their top guys either out or playing hurt, and Theodore wasn't exactly playing the way he had been in round one. On the other side, I couldn't even tell you what Detroit did to win this one, other than have Johan Franzen on the ice. He scored more goals himself in this one than the entire Avalanche team (a hat trick vs only two goals). I'm hoping at least that this wasn't the final hurrah for Sakic or Forsberg, because that would be a terrible end to anyone's career. Detroit wins series 4-0.

Playoffs - night 21

2008-05-01T16:38:00.003-04:00

Philadelphia 4 - Montreal 2
This was a game that Montreal should have won. Philly had the lead, and then the Habs stormed back with two goals 11 seconds apart in the third to give notice that they weren't going down without a fight. They were showing some confidence and giving Halak, Carbonneau's starter, a chance to win it, and then took a penalty with less than five minutes to play. Philly scored on the powerplay, of course, and then put another one in the empty net. This is not where the Habs deserve to be, and definetly not where people expected them to be. Game 5, on Saturday night, will be epic.

Dallas 1 - San Jose 2
Maybe Ron Wilson told Patrick Marleau that Jermain Franklin had criticised him the other day. Or maybe Marleau just got lucky, but he's scored two big goals in the last two games for the Sharks. Dallas couldn't close out the Sharks in this one, but will have a chance to take them out in their own building, where they already beat them twice. The Sharks will need to put some curses or something on the visitors locker room, or else they could be done for. Game 5 on Friday.

Playoffs - night 20

2008-04-30T10:03:00.004-04:00

New York 3 - Pittsburgh 5
Wow. I figured the Pens would be well rested coming in to the second round, but I don't think anyone thought they'd be this rested. The Pens got the lead, but New York fought back and looked like they could put Pittsbugh away and get themselves back on track. New York is still saying they have confidence, but they'll need to put some good goals past Fleury to try and knock him off balance, but also help Lundqvist out on the defensive side. Game 4 on Thursday

Dallas 2 - San Jose 1(OT)
Of all the people in the NHL to score a playoff OT winner, I don't think anyone would pick Mattias Norstrom (that's assuming they'd heard of him). The guy had only one other goal all season, but he was just in the right place at the right time to put one past Nabokov with lots of traffic around. San Jose has put themselves in a mighty deep hole in this series so they'll be doing everything in their power from here on out. This was a tough loss for the Sharks, and they don't have much time to rebound from it. Game 4 on Wednesday.

Colorado 3 - Detroit 4
This series certainly hasn't turned out they way I thought it would... Detroit is still winning, Theodore's gone cold and Colorado's injured bay is filling up. The Wings keep pumping the goals in and with all of Colorado's injury problems they might not be able to keep up. They need to get out to a big lead and then hunker down and not take stupid penalties. With so many people out - Stastny, Smyth, Wolski - the Avs need to conserve their resources. Game 4 on Thursday.

Playoffs - night 19

2008-04-29T11:06:00.004-04:00

Philadelphia 3 - Montreal 2
Once again, Montreal allowed Philly to get a lead, and a big one this time. The difference was they almost clawed their way back in to this one. Hatcher took a dumb penalty, and was ejected from the game, in the third and the Habs took advantage of the power play. The big play early on in this one was when Biron poke-checked Koivu and stopped a sure goal in the first. Montreal has to find a way to score first and not keep putting themselves down so that they have to climb back up. Will be interesting to see what Carbonneau does goalie-wise for the next showdown after putting Halak in for the third. Game 4 on Wednesday.

Playoffs - night 18

2008-04-28T10:01:00.003-04:00

Pittsburgh 2 - New York 0
Well first off this was really only a one-goal win for the Pens since the second goal came with the Rangers net empty. That really is important to consider in this game, where Lundqvist stopped pretty much everything else that was thrown at him. The Rangers will need to put up some offence if they hope to win some games, because you can't leave it all up to your goalie, even if he is a Vezina finalist. Game 3 on Tuesday.

San Jose 2 - Dallas 5
I guess Dallas really does like playing in San Jose. Something's happened in that Dallas dressing room that no one else can figure out, since the Stars have been surprising everyone but themselves in the past two weeks. Turco has come up big for them, and they seem to have rattled Nabokov at the other end of the ice. Game 3 on Tuesday.

Quick tips for John Gibbons

2008-04-27T19:41:00.004-04:00

The Blue Jays, despite a nauseatingly bad week, are still only 3 1/2 games back in the AL East, thanks to some surprising early-season parity in the division. So, their series with the Red Sox is (as usual) crucial to their chances of remaining in the hunt. Yes, it's early, but if T.O. can't sweep or take two of three in this one, odds are that it'll be another very long, very pointless and very infuriating summer for us long-suffering Jays fans.

Just like every other armchair manager, I'm going to tell John Gibbons what he needs to do in this series, since the question of whether he even knows what he's doing is a frequently-asked one. Most of this is pretty damn straightforward, which kind of makes you wonder why Gibbons hasn't caught on to some of it by now.

1. Ride your best players. No days off for Vernon Wells or Alex Rios or, for that matter, any of the starters, barring some medical emergency or other unavoidable situation. If you win the first two games, don't be content with it -- go for the sweep!

2. If you're leading going into the 7th, Eckstein sits. His "spark plug" abilities notwithstanding, Eckstein is a defensive liability. Sometimes I think my fellow Sportrambler (a dimuitive female) could probably hit the first baseman with more regularity than Eckstein does. If you need to hold a lead, John McDonald is your shortstop, period.

3. No matter what, Shannon Stewart sits. Yes, J.P. Ricciardi's move to acquire Stewart was an inexcusably terrible decision, especially since it came at the expense of Reed Johnson, but there's nothing we can do about that now. Stewart is washed up and useless, and Adam Lind is poised to grab the reins as the full-time left fielder. There is absolutely no reason not to give Lind his shot in this series, regardless of who's pitching for Boston.

4. Stairs is your DH, every game. To hell with playing the percentages. Stairs plays, even if the Boston pitcher is a lefty. Tell me, is it really better to put in Stewart or Rod Barajas, both of whom are flirting with Mendoza, just because they're righties? Stairs is a professional baseball player, and a pretty good one, and he's got a better chance of hitting a lefty than Stewart or Barajas do of hitting the broad side of a barn.

5. Green light on 2-0 pitches. I don't know if it's a philosophical thing, but, as Scott Carson pointed out, one of the most absolutely maddening things about watching the Jays is seeing their hitters stare at 2-0 fastballs. What the hell is the benefit of working the count to 2-0, virtually guaranteeing yourself a fastball, and then taking all the way?

6. Use the bullpen effectively. The odds of this happening are about the same as Gibbons actually producing a fully coherent interview, but a guy can hope, can't he?

A make or break series usually doesn't come along in April, but if the Jays -- with Scott Rolen and B.J. Ryan back, meaning this is their team from here on out -- get swept by the BoSox, it's probably already lights out on this season... which would (hopefully) mean a one-way ticket out of town for J.P. Ricciardi, leaving him to move back to Oakland and take up a career shining Billy Beane's shoes.

Playoffs - night 17

2008-04-27T14:29:00.004-04:00

Detroit 5 - Colorado 1
Yeesh. So much for Jose Theodore and his career renaissance. Alright it's a bit early for that, but he hasn't looked himself in the first two games against Colorado. I'm wondering if the flu is still hanging around, or if he just hasn't found his comfort zone in this series yet. Detroit has looked very organized and methodical in the way they've dismantled the Avs so far. Game 3 on Tuesday.

Montreal 2 - Philadelphia 4
Even Saturday night in Montreal wasn't enough for the Habs to hold off the Flyers. Biron came up big for Philly in holding off the Habs, and they had the advantage of playing with the lead again. The Habs need to get themselves a lead, probably early on, and be the ones with the upper hand rather than playing catch up for the rest of the game. Game 3 on Monday.

Playoffs - night 16

2008-04-26T14:41:00.003-04:00

Pittsburgh 5 - New York 4
The way this game ended certainly wasn't the way it started. The Rangers had a three-goal lead, and with Lundqvist in nets that's usually enough to guarantee them a win. The Penguins scored some fast goals that I think caught New York off guard, and then to add insult to injury, Straka took a penalty at the end of the third that the Penguins eventually scored the game winner on. The Rangers will have to tighten up defensively and find a way to put the Pens away, and then keep them away. Game 2 Sunday afternoon.

San Jose 2 - Dallas 3 (OT)
I guess some teams just have their way with other ones. For whatever reason, Dallas always seems to find a way to win against the Sharks. Even though both teams had hard first round series, the Stars seemed more in control of their game in this one. Nabokov didn't have to make too many saves, but he got unlucky in letting in goals at bad times. Stars didn't have much offence, but they got the job done in OT, and when it comes down to it that's what matters. Game 2 on Sunday.

And the Winnipeg Jets live on...

2008-04-25T19:08:00.004-04:00

They're the team, you'll recall, that introduced the "white out" to the NHL back in the late 1980s and early 1990s, encouraging every fan at the Winnipeg Arena to wear white during Jets playoff games. It made a strong visual impact, and was presumably meant to not only unite the fans behind the team, but be imposing to the opponent. And while it was new and exciting when the Jets did it, now it just seems par for the course.

Though the Jets left more than a decade ago, it seems the "colour-out" phenomenon really only picked up steam in the last five years. Now, watching the NHL and NBA playoffs, virtually every game features the home crowd wearing the same colours.

Sometimes, the results are comical -- such as last year, when the Raptors encouraged their home crowd to wear red to a playoff date with New Jersey, only to have the Nets wear red uniforms that night. Sometimes, they're baffling -- in tonight's Rangers/Pens game, the fans all wore white, even though the team's colours are yellow and black. Play-by-play man Jim Hughson suggested it was an homage to the Jets -- I suggest it's just stupid.

As with most things, while it's good in moderation, too much of the "colour-out" kills its impact. How are Penguins fans showing support for their team by wearing a colour that's barely in their logo? And are the Rangers really supposed to be distracted by it, when most arenas are full of the exact same thing, come playoff time (except for the mouth-breathers in Jersey)?

The only bit of interest left to draw from the "colour-out" is waiting to see what happens when the Leafs finally crawl back into the playoffs -- will the folks at the ACC be giving out business suits to everyone upon entry? Or will the BlackBerry-toting douche bags in the platinum seats actually don blue shirts? Time will tell...

Playoffs - night 15

2008-04-25T11:41:00.004-04:00

Montreal 4 - Philadelphia 3 (OT)
Bit of a shaky start for the Habs - they let in two bad goals in the first to set up a decent hole to crawl out of. But they responded and Price pretty much settled in after that. The action really got good at the end of the third, when Kovalev potted the tying goal with less than 30 seconds to play and then Kostopoulos scored less than a minute into OT. Both teams played well, but Philly got the bounces going their way early so it looked like Montreal was in for more of a fight than they actually were. Game 2 on Saturday night. Montreal will be going crazy.

Detroit 4 - Colorado 3
The Wings got off to a fast start and it looked like they were going to walk all over the Avs, but they made a game out of it later on. Forsberg sat this one out, and both Wolski and Theodore left the game - Wolski has the classic "upper body injury" and Theodore was pulled after giving up the four goals, but is apparently also sick. Don't think the Avs need to worry too much, because Detroit will start falling apart eventually. Game 2 on Saturday.

The 2008 Playoff Preview: Round Two

2008-04-23T10:54:00.005-04:00

Well we got some right, we got some wrong, but we may as well do it again. So here, without further ado or the aid of zoo animals, are the Second Round picks (bonus points to the first person to notice a pattern!).

The East
(1) Montreal vs (6) Philadelphia
Elena: Another classic matchup for les Habitants to sink their teeth into. While both teams went to seven games in their previous matchups, I think it was harder, mentally at least, for the Canadiens because they thought they had it won early against Boston. Philly has shown that they can shut down dynamic playmakers, and Biron has stepped up and proved that he can be a playoff goalie. Montreal will need to make sure they play a full 60 minutes every night and not slack off, but they also need to protect Price and make sure that he's not getting overworked if he doesn't have to be.
Bottom Line: Poutine is better than Philly cheesesteak - Montreal in 6

Daniel: It says a lot about a city when it can have a referendum on secession in relative peace, but the place devolves into riots at a first-round victory in hockey. Both of these teams nearly coughed it up in the first round, but only one of them can blow it this time. Elena's poutine and Philly cheesesteak analogy is apt -- in the sense that seeing either of these teams succeed is really bad for my heart. But for the sake of the Canadian team/non-hockey market pattern in Cup finals matchups (three years running!), I've got to say...
Bottom Line: Canadiens in 6

(2) Pittsburgh vs (5) NY Rangers
Elena: Sweeeet. Although Gary Bettman would probably have exploded just thinking about the ratings bonanza that a Pens-Caps matchup would have brought, I still wouldn't be a fan of the actual hockey. The big question mark going into this series is if the big layoff will help or hinder the Penguins. They will also have to contend with the Sean Avery Factor and see if he will rattle Fleury like he did Brodeur (although what's he going to call him, Skeleton?) The Rangers proved they can score, and the Penguins didn't exactly have to contend with a lot of offence in their first round games. And I must admit, I'm looking forward to Crosby getting run around by the Rangers.
Bottom Line: Broadway over Steeltown - New York in 7

Daniel: If what she says is true, then I do wish we'd have seen a Pens/Caps matchup -- if for no other reason than Gary Bettman would have exploded. Little runt. Anyway, you can expect Lundqvist to have to stand on his head in this one, as the Pens will come out full of piss and vinegar. Much will be made of the Pens' lack of playoff experience (save Gary Roberts) but ultimately, games are won and lost by the skills of the players on the ice, not by the superstitions propagated by the media and fans.
Bottom Line: Penguins in a hard-fought 6

The West
(1) Detroit vs (6) Colorado
Elena: Well, well, looky here... seems what's old really is new again. Somehow I don't think this will be as heated as some past Wings-Avs series, but you never know if Chris Osgood will have to break out the blocker during a fight. People were counting Colorado out, but with Theodore playing the way he is these days, anything could be possible. While Detroit has the more grizzled veterans to match up with the Avs' aging stars, I think the intangible will be guys like Stastny and Wolski, because the Wings don't really have any young guns like that.
Bottom Line: Detroit can't handle the Avalanche - Colorado in 6

Daniel: When it comes to aging veterans (starting players who are 35 or older), Detroit has got a big leg up, seven to two. Between the pipes, while the Wings desperately hope for one of their 'tenders to have a full renaissance, Jose Theodore is in the midst of his for the Avs. It's almost unfathomable that I -- and so many others -- could have so little faith in the ability of a team that essentially lead the league from start to finish to get past the second round. Then again, it's Detroit, and we've all seen this story before.
Bottom Line: The Wings blow it. Again. Avs in 7.

(2) San Jose vs (5) Dallas
Elena: Another shining example of two great hockey markets ready for the playoffs! Ok, so they may not be traditional hockey markets, both of these cities actually have fairly strong fan bases for their teams. All that aside, this could be an interesting one. Dallas was basically written off for dead before the start of the playoffs, but they have been a surprise. San Jose was worked hard by Calgary for seven games, so you never know if it will be a tired team or one still raring to go that will show up for the first game.
Bottom Line: Sharks keep chomping away - San Jose in 7

Daniel: As Elena mentioned, Dallas wasn't even expected to be here, and performed unexpectedly well in dispatching the Ducks. That being said, the Sharks got past a tough Flames team on the back of offensive performances from... Ryan Clowe and Joe Pavelski? You have to assume that Thornton, Cheechoo and Marleau will all take it to another level in this series. If not, Dallas will make it interesting. But if even one of two of them do, and Nabokov retains his likely-Vezina-winning form, then we're one step closer to Canadian team v.s. non-hockey market in the finals. You know it's coming.
Bottom Line: Sharks in 6

Well that's all from us. Let's hope for more good hockey and some better suits from Don Cherry.

Playoffs - night 14

2008-04-23T10:08:00.003-04:00

Washington 2 - Philadelphia 3 (OT)
The poor Capitals... they worked so hard and came up just short. This was an amazing Game 7, however, and a better series than I think a lot of people were predicting. Both teams were playing hard, and you could just see the excitement everyone had for the game. Mike Milbury on the NHL on TSN was getting riled up about the officiating in this game, and I can't say that I disagree - it seemed like it was a classic case of the whistles getting put away for the third and OT periods, so when a penalty was called in OT, it seemed more out of place. Hard way for a talented team to lose the series, but them's the breaks. Philadelphia wins series 4-3.

San Jose 5 - Calgary 3
This game certainly turned out to be another barnburner, but who would have thought that Jeremy Roenick would be the big time hero?! After being a healthy scratch for Game 6, he had two goals and two assists and really showed that he's not done just yet. Even though the Sharks just poured it on in the second, I'm still not sure it was the best move for Mike Keenan to go with his patented revolving-door goalie system and yank Kiprusoff. Not that Curtis Joseph is a bad goalie, but it made it look like the Flames were throwing in the towel when they were still in it. Since going to the Finals in 2004, Calgary hasn't exactly been lighting it up playoffs-wise, so this has to be another major disapointment for some of the guys who have been around that long. San Jose wins the series 4-3.

And now, a Round One recap, just to see how good (or let's face it, bad) we are:
EAST
(1) Montreal vs (8) Boston - Elena and Daniel said: Montreal in 5; Outcome: Montreal in 7
(2) Pittsburgh vs (7) Ottawa - Elena said Ottawa in 7; Daniel said Pittsburgh in 6; Outcome: Pittsburgh in 4
(3) Washington vs (6) Philadelphia - Elena and Daniel said Washington in 6; Outcome: Philadelphia in 7
(4) New Jersey vs (5) New York Rangers - Elena and Daniel said New York in 7; Outcome: New York in 5

WEST
(1) Detroit vs (8) Nashville - Elena and Daniel said Detroit in 5; Outcome: Detroit in 6
(2) San Jose vs (7) Calgary - Elena said San Jose in 7; Daniel said San Jose in 6; Outcome: San Jose in 7
(3) Minnesota vs (6) Colorado - Elena said Colorado in 6; Daniel said Minnesota in 7; Outcome: Colorado in 6
(4) Anaheim vs (5) Dallas - Elena said Anaheim in 7; Daniel said Dallas in 7; Outcome: Dallas in 6

Round Two preview coming soon!

Playoffs - night 13

2008-04-22T11:55:00.003-04:00

Montreal 5 - Boston 0
The Bruins did a good job of giving the Habs a bit of a scare, but they just couldn't finish them off. Carey Price did his job, and more, in standing tall and holding off the Bruins before Montreal had the game well in hand. Once the scoring started in the third, Thomas just didn't have the answer, and once the crowd got into it, there was no way for the Bruins to even try. Boston surprised a lot of people by taking Montreal to seven, and they exposed a few Habs weaknesses along the way. Montreal wins series 4-3.

Philadelphia 2 - Washington 4
This series has actually been one of the closest and best matched up, even though at the outset it looked like it might be less interesting than some of the others. Philly got the lead early, but they couldn't keep it up and really flatten Washington. Ovechkin came back in a big way, and Semin and Backstrom had big games as well. Game 7 showdown on Tuesday night.

Playoffs - night 12

2008-04-21T18:14:00.002-04:00

Nashville 0 - Detroit 3
The Preds tried hard, they really did. They gave Detroit a run for their money, but couldn't come up with enough magic to move on. I feel bad for Nashville, because they've made the playoffs a few times now and something always seems to happen to them and keep them from making the second round. That being said, a lot of people thought Detroit would just run right over them, and that certainly didn't happen. Detroit wins series 4-2.

Calgary 2 - San Jose 0
This one just gets better and better. Kiprusoff was amazing in shutting out the Sharks and giving Calagry a chance to win this series. Game 7 should be a massive showdown, because both of these teams are tough and will play their hearts out to try and move on to the second round. Game 7, in San Jose, on Tuesday.

Dallas 4 - Anaheim 1
The defending champs are out, so at least the Sens aren't the only ones to get picked on all summer. Dallas has been a surprise in the playoffs, so they couldbe a challenge for whoever gets them next round. Apparently picking up Brad Richards was a good move. Dallas wins series 4-2.

Playoffs - night 11

2008-04-20T20:01:00.002-04:00

Washington 3 - Philadelphia 2
The Caps weren't ready to go home yet, and they're now trying to make people believe in them again. I think Ovechkin and co. have some tricks up their sleeves still, but you never know what the Flyers will counter with. Game 6 on Monday night.

Boston 5 - Montreal 4
Hooooah what a series this has turned in to! Montreal dismantled Boston in the regular season and won three games in this series, and all of a sudden it's down to a winner-take-all game 7. Boston has come alive thanks to Phil Kessel completely turning his play around, and the whole team has found a way to rattle Carey Price. Montreal will have to turn in a complete game performance and give Price some help. Even though he's good with pressure, this is another level entirely. Game 7 Monday night in Montreal.

Colorado 2 - Minnesota 1
Even thought it didn't go to OT, this was another close game. Theodore was forced to stand on his head because the Wild simply did not want to lose this game and this series. After Game 4, when the Wild got frustrated and the Avs won big, this series was all Colorado. Even though they were the underdogs on paper, Colorado had the experience and attitude to outplay Minnesota. Colorado wins the series 4-2.

Playoffs - night 10

2008-04-19T17:58:00.005-04:00

New York 5 - New Jersey 3
Well I guess Sean Avery did his job. The Devils were never really in this series, mainly because they just couldn't score on Lundqvist. Brodeur wasn't himself in this one, and the Rangers took advantage. Will be interesting to see if New York can avoid what happened to them last year and make it to the third round. Rangers win the series 4-1.

Detroit 2 - Nashville 1 (OT)
If Nashville could have won this game, it would have been huge. As it is, they still have a chance to pull even in Game 6. Looks like the right call to start Osgoode instead of Hasek for Detroit. Even though it's not much, the Preds still have hope to take it to a seventh. Game 6 on Sunday.

Anaheim 5 - Dallas 2
You had to know that the Ducks weren't going to to without a fight in the first elimination game of their series. This one started out close, but the Ducks got three goals in the third to put it away. The Stars had their chances, though, but Giguere was too strong and stopped almost everything that was thrown at him. Game 6 on Sunday.

Pierre McGuire update

2008-04-18T14:38:00.002-04:00

Though McGuire was not quite as enamoured with Mike Richards in Game 4 as he was in Game 3, he definitely didn't leave his hyperbole at home. In fact, McGuire was busting out his special Playoff Hyperbole ©!

Whereas, during the regular season, McGuire finds every individual play to be the most astounding one ever, Playoff Hyperbole © involves describing every single player's performance thus far in the series as "amazing", "incredible", "outstanding" and/or any combination of these or any other adjectives which are synonyms for "very good".

Whether a top-line centre or third-pairing defenceman, any player can be the beneficiary of Playoff Hyperbole ©, since there's no differentiation between anyone, because everyone's play is excellently stupendous!

Sometimes, McGuire will even extend his congratulations to coaches, assistant coaches, physical trainers, fans, stick handlers, ushers, ticket-rippers, owners and arena janitors for their underappreciated yet undeniably sensational contributions to the greatest team ever, playing their greatest series ever.

And as you can see, the usage of Playoff Hyperbole © isn't restricted to McGuire - anyone can use it! Feel the power!

Playoffs - night 9

2008-04-18T11:18:00.004-04:00

Montreal 1 - Boston 5
Ok, so the score is a little ugly, but then again from a Montreal perspective, it was ugly. Carey Price wasn't on his usual a-game at all, and had a couple ugly, soft goals get past him. He's a strong player and a good goalie under pressure, so I don't think anyone is penciling Boston into the second round yet. Boston was also clearly the more desperate team yesterday since they were the ones facing the prospect of an early start to the golf season. Game 6 on Saturday night.

Philadelphia 4 - Washington 3 (2OT)
First off, Pierre McGuire hyperbole aside, this was an amazing game that neither team wanted to lose. Usually when a hard-fought playoff game goes to overtime, and then a second OT, the quality of play can start to diminish - not this one. Both teams were playing hard, physical hockey, but there was also some skill on display. The Flyers were fighting back all night and got the winning goal from Mike Knuble... certainly not a guy who anyone on the NHL on TSN panel was picking to score the winner. Washington will have to try and claw their way back into this one. Game 5, in Washington, on Saturday.

Minnesota 2 - Colorado 3
Another close game after the Colorado blowout the other night. In this one the Avs still looked like the stronger team, and had the game in control with a pair of goals from two of the young guns. Theodore is playing increadibly well, and I think we're seeing the Jose of old return. Minnesota tried to make it interesting by scoring in the dying seconds of the game, but they just didn't have enough time for a real comeback. Game 6 on Saturday.

San Jose 4 - Calgary 3
At least Calgary had more than 10 shots on goal in this one. They came to play, and even took the early lead, but the Sharks seems to have the answers. Cheechoo seems to have woken up and scored some big goals, so the Sharks could just be getting started. I'm actually hoping for this one to go to 7, just because it's an intense series. Game 6 on Sunday.

Dallas 3 - Anaheim 1
The Ducks didn't have the same fight in them that they did in Game 4. Even though Dallas wasn't exactly the hottest team coming in to the playoffs, they've shown up to play and now have the honour of being the team who can eliminate the defending champs. Turco has pretty much been keeping Dallas in this one, but you never know how long a goalie can keep up the work of carrying an entire team. Game 5 on Friday.

Another brief interlude, featuring Pierre McGuire

2008-04-17T16:26:00.003-04:00

Pierre McGuire is no strange to hyperbole. In fact, listening to him provide commentary during a game, you'd think that every single play that takes place -- every pass, every hit, every bit of forechecking, every single play -- is the greatest play to ever take place on an ice surface, anywhere, in the history of humanity.

But if you watched Game 3 between Washington and Philly on Tuesday, you may have noticed his personal hard-on for the Mike Richards reached levels of supreme absurdity, to the point where I expected ol' baldy to leap over the boards and anoint the young Flyer as King of the Universe right at centre ice.

So if McGuire happens to be anywhere near a microphone for tonight's game, listen for any reference to Richards, who I'm sure will be doing the toughest, grittiest, boldest, most amazing thing in the history of hockey... until 30 seconds later, when McGuire finds something else to be tougher, grittier, bolder and more amazing.

Playoffs - night 8

2008-04-17T10:57:00.004-04:00

Ottawa 1 - Pittsburgh 3
Turn out the liiiiiights, the party's overrrrr, They say alllll good things must ennnnd... Alright, maybe a little dramatic, but it's the truth, right? Pens win, Sens lose, and the team with the captain who can actually grow facial hair is packing up and going home. It wasn't necessarily quick and painless, but at least it was quick. Not much else I really want to say other than that I'm disapointed and feel bad for the guys who were playing their asses off - Vermette, Foligno, Volchenkov, Gerber, Alfredsson - and Bryan Murray, who will have to answer, to the sports media at least, for what went wrong. I could go on raving like a lunatic about all the problems, but it's not worth it. Suffice to say I'll be happy to see whoever gets the Penguins next round absolutely destroy them, much like happened to New York last season. Penguins win series 4-0.

New York 5 - New Jersey 3
For a while it looked like Jersey had the answers, because every time the Rangers got a goal, the Devils were ready to fire right back. This series has been all about the goalies, and not just their ability to stop the puck. The Rangers seem content to just frustrate and annoy Brodeur all day and then hope for a few bounces here and there. And let's be honest - potting an own goal off a centre-ice faceoff with a few seconds left didn't do anything to help the Devils confidence. Game 5 on Friday.

Nashville 3 - Detroit 2
Well, well, looky here. Seems like Nashville is one of those teams who won't go quietly in these playoffs, and they're giving the best team in the league a run for their money to boot! The Preds have been scoring goals in bunches, and I think even Detroit isn't quite sure what to make of them. Will be interesting to see how they respong to going back to Detroit for the next game. Game 5 on Friday.

Take a chill pill, Eugene

2008-04-16T17:54:00.004-04:00

That, in a nutshell, is Elliotte Friedman's advice to Ottawa Senators owner Eugene Melnyk. And I have to say, I pretty much agree with him on this one. While I usually take issue with some of the things he says in his blog, this week's entry about the need for patience with the Sens makes sense.

After last year's loss in the Finals, Melnyk pulled the trigger and fired John Muckler, basically to promote Brian Murray to GM, a position he has held very successfully with a few other franchises. Many people thought that was Melnyk sending a message after Muckler didn't acquire Gary Roberts at the deadline last year. I personally think it was the right decision to stay away from Roberts, because I think the Sens would have lost more than they could gain from a trade like that.

This year, however, with Murray in charge there have been more than a few managerial mistakes - not stepping in during the Ray Emery Saga (yes, around here it's become a capital-s Saga), only acquiring a guy like Mike Commodore (who has been basically useless), trading away a promising young player in Patrick Eaves, etc. Yet I don't think Murray deserves the axe after this season, and Friedman agrees. He says "what Melnyk needs now is front-office stability. To fire the GM and the coach one year after reaching the Stanley Cup Final, well, that’s not intelligent. Good teams don’t do that. No one has a better idea of how to fix this Gong Show than Murray, and he deserves the opportunity. Let’s not forget that he was the architect of the current Stanley Cup champion and the bench boss of the reigning – but soon to be dethroned – Eastern Finalist." Remember, Murray's success has come as a GM in the NHL and he should have the opportunity to re-prove himself in Ottawa. I also think he wasn't handed the easiest situation in the world personel and money wise, but he signed Spezza and Heatley to long-term deals and that will carry some weight with fans in this city (the pair's playoff performance notwithstanding).

Also, as Friedman points out, if you want to make changes you first need to have a feel for what is wrong, and that takes time. He writes that "it would be a mistake to bring in someone new, since it would take that person time to evaluate the organization before making decisions... Any genius can tell you Ray Emery has to go, but only specific insight can figure out what’s really wrong in that rotten room. This is not something that can be considered into next season." Murray knows these players, both as a coach and an executive, and should know what cards he will have to deal, and which ones to keep up his sleeve. There is a defence to overhaul, a forward structure to tinker with and goaltending issues to sort out, and right now Murray is better equipped than anyone else to deal with these problems.

The priority for the Senators going forward is to find a new coach and re-instill the work ethic and respect, for both eachother and the team, that got them to the Stanley Cup Finals last season. Eugene Melnyk will need to sit back, think for more than three seconds, and realize that even if he wants to fire a few sailors and find a new First Mate, he needs the Captain (and this time I don't mean Alfie) to keep the ship steady and help find their course.

Playoffs - night 7

2008-04-16T16:59:00.003-04:00

Boston 0 - Montreal 1
Carey Price is just a little bit of history repeating. He's following in the skatesteps of Ken Dryden and Patrick Roy, but you wouldn't know it to look at the guy - he seems to be totally cool with the fact that he's playing for one of the teams considered to be a favourite to win the Stanley Cup and the fact that the city of Montreal is going insane. That being said, the team he has in front of him is playing pretty damn well too. The Bruins were resorting to getting physical to try and change things, but even that didn't work. Word today out of Boston is that Chara has a rib injury, so it will be interesting to see if the Habs try and reach up there to do more damage ("I can't play tonight coach, it's the ribs" - that's a bit of an inside joke, but you'll get it if you live in Ottawa or have heard Baton Rouge ads here). Game 5, and possibly the final one of the series, Thursday night.

Philadelphia 6 - Washington 3
Well after three games maybe a bit of the shine is wearing off the Capitals. But Philadelphia also obviously wanted to put on a good showing for their hometown fans. Briere is starting to make some noise, which is definetly what Philly needs to counter a guy like Ovechkin. Game 4 on Thursday.

Dallas 2 - Anaheim 4
Alright, so the Ducks won't get swept... but I could dream, right? Seemed like they were getting out a little pent up agression and scoring by dumping four on Dallas, and getting it done early on too. The Stars still have a big lead to work with to try and avoid another first round loss and send the defending champs home at the same time. Game 5 on Thursday.

Calgary 2 - San Jose 3
These two teams sure know how to put on a show. After having an early lead in the game before, the Sharks had to play catch-up this time, and needed until literally the last seconds of the game to take the lead and get the win. Also a good game for Joe Thornton, who I suppose has now "stepped up" for the playoffs because he managed to score a goal. Can't wait to see Game 5 on Thursday.

Colorado 5 - Minnesota 1
Well, so much for another close game. Colorado took control early and held on for the ride. Not surprising when you consider the fact that the Wild were playing shortanded about half the night, or at least it seemed like that. But really it seemed like the chippiness started once the game was already out of hand, which is pretty typical of a game that gets blown wide open in a series that had otherwise been tight. Will be interesting to see what happens in Game 5 on Thursday.